Gmr
Dear Peanut, Mommy misses you so much! It's 1 Month today since I put you down and I don't know how it's already a month. I missed having you here with me for Thanksgiving and my birthday on Thursday. I still go through waves of crying especially when I go to bed at night. I miss you laying next to me and being able to reach out my hand and touch you. I haven't been able to do much of anything since youve been gone but I did get out for a bit today. The whole time you were on my mind and I kept thinking I didn't want to be out long because I had to get home to take care of you. Then mommy realizes your not here anymore. Opening that door and walking in when I get home is terrible. Mommy just wants to see you greet me and get excited that I'm home. I got a call last week from the emergency vet office where I took you. They left a message that they tried to send me a card with your paw prints but the card was returned. They wrote the address wrong. So I called back and gave them the right address. I cried when I got that message because mommy wasn't expecting such a nice thing for them to do. I've been waiting over a week to get that card so I could see and touch your paw prints once more. But it never arrived. I called 3 times and they say they will resend it out to me but no card or paw prints. I so looked forward to getting that because mommy could not afford to get your ashes. Maybe they lost it or threw it out because nothing's coming. Mommy cried again because now I lost that too. Your sister Gracie is just picking at her food. She misses you too. But you know how some cats can be. She doesn't greet me at the door and she is just not how you and I were. I have a candle that mommy lights every day for you. Your sweater is always right next to me. I wish if I begged enough that God would give you back to me. I hate not having you here. Remember when mommy would carry you down the stairs to take you outside and carry you to bed because your heart was bad. Or how I would wrap my sweater around you when you were feeling cold outside. How I always made sure you were warm and cozy on the couch. How I held you in my arms and spoke softly to you whenever you had a seizure so you wouldnt be scared. All these things and more I did because I loved you so much Peanut. I hope you felt my love like I felt yours. I ask you every night to please visit me in my dreams so I know you are happy and well. I need that for comfort from you. I hope you will soon. I am so thankful that you picked me to be your Mommy. You were the best dog I ever had. You helped mommy through so much. You were truly an angel. I'm grateful for the 14 yrs I've had with you but it's never enough. Mommy just wishes you could have been healthy at the end and lived forever with me. Mommy loves you with all her heart. I will NEVER forget you. You will always be a part of me. Hugs and kisses to you, my baby Dear Peanut!
Quote 0 0
JinglesMom
Dear Gmr,

Your beautiful letter to your sweet little Peanut truly touched my heart and brought tears to my eyes. You can so feel the deep and special love you have for her in every single word you wrote. I am so very sorry for the pain and sadness you are going through, and I really do understand as I have been through it. All of the firsts without them are so very hard, coming home without them there, going to sleep without them beside us, waking up in the morning to the emptiness and the quiet. I never knew that silence could be quite so loud and palpable. The first holiday without them, the first birthday without them, it is just so sad, and our life and world will never be the same without them in it. I used to always ask myself, how in the world am I going to be able to exist in a world where my sweet babies do not.

I am so sorry to hear what happened with the card and the paw prints, and I so hope that you get them soon. If they were sent to the wrong address, it is most likely a matter of time before they will show up at your door, and I know how very much they mean to you. That is so nice that you light a candle for your little baby girl every single day, and I have absolutely no doubt that she can see the warm flame of that symbol of your love flickering in the breeze. Little things mean so much and writing tributes and lighting candles will keep you so connected to her, and always remember that the bond cannot be broken, and that no time, distance, or separation could ever really keep you apart. 

It will have been six years for me in February that my beloved Jasper crossed the bridge, and he is as close to me now as when he was physically here. It will be two years in February for my sweet little Pootie Tang, and I have her tucked safely away in a special corner of my heart. I was never able to get her ashes, but she is still right here with me closer than ever before. In January of this year, it will be one year that my Jingles crossed over, and his sweetness and beautiful spirit surrounds me still. The love never ends, it just keeps getting stronger. I used to be so scared that their memory would fade from my life and my world, but nothing could be further from the truth. I write to them every single chance I get, and I say their name, and I talk to them, and I know that they can hear me. Somehow, someway, I just know that they can feel the love behind every single word I write to them, just as your special Peanut can. The veil is so thin for those who love so deeply and profoundly.

I know just what you mean about wanting your precious girl back with you. Sometimes I just want to reach up to the Heavens and bring my dear little ones back for just one more moment in time. But even that would never be enough, I would always want more. Your little Peanut is so dear and sweet, and you can see that sweet sparkle in her eyes. You took such wonderful loving care of your baby girl, and you were so devoted to her in every way, and as much as this hurts, always know that she felt your love when she was walking across that bridge, and she can feel your love for her even now. It sounds like this sweet girl will always and forever be the little love and light of your life. We are so blessed if we can find our once in a lifetime pet, the one that will forever be in our heart and our soul until our eyes meet once again, and Peanut was and will always be yours.

 I know that when she left she took a piece of your heart with her, but I also know that she left so much more behind. Her legacy will always be one of sweetness, joy, and the most beautiful light that will forever light your path. Keep that candle burning so that she will always be able to find her way back home to you, she will  be tucked safely away in a special corner of in your heart. They do find a way to come and meet us in our dreams, and they always have such perfect timing. Please give your little Gracie a big hug because she needs you now so much, you both need each other. She must miss her dear sister so much and she is grieving also, maybe you two could lean on each other. I so feel your sadness, and I so feel your pain, and I will be keeping you, your Gracie, and your Peanut in my thoughts and prayers today, tomorrow, and always. Your letter to your little girl was so special and filled with such a special love.  Sending lots of hugs your way, JinglesMom
Pamela Lynne Crawford
Quote 0 0
Gmr
Thank you JinglesMom for your comforting response. I am so sorry for all your losses as well. I hope all our babies are playing together at the rainbow bridge. I have been giving Gracie, Peanuts sister , some extra loving right now. And we have been trying to lean on each other the best we can. Hugs back to you.
Quote 0 0