Mismaloya
I thought it might help me deal with you being gone, if I wrote to you . Thank you for all those kisses or licks as I held you as you drifted off to sleep . You looked pretty cute with your tongue hanging out. I tried to put it back in your mouth, but you just were so deeply asleep, it just rolled out again . Are you with your Grandpop now ? I told you he would be waiting for you and would take you on your walks from now on . The first night after you left, I froze all night long. I missed that hot little body of your’s, curled up next to me. I loved it that you had to touch me all night long, but didn’t realize just how much heat you gave me too . The next night, I turned the temperature up 2 degrees and that was better . I am SO sorry that I didn’t stay for the last shot. The vet told me that you wouldn’t know the difference and I thought actually seeing you dead, would be more than I could bare. Now, I regret it. You will be coming back home in about a week or so, but I dread that call . Seeing that urn, will be a constant reminder that you really are gone and not just sleeping in your kennel or on the couch . You need to know that I loved you so much . Thank you for hanging around over 2 years after Grandpop passed: if I had lost both of you close together, I don’t know how I would have managed. You were such a good girl and I will miss you more than you will miss me, I think. The house is so quiet now, that I try not to be here if possible. You are my little baby girl and I want you to understand I thought it was time. You had such a hard night last Wednesday, that I didn’t ever want that to happen to you again . Oh, my baby, I can’t stop crying. I love you .
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Sulasmom
I am so sorry for your loss... I know your pain well my friend
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Mismaloya
Hi my baby girl. It is Sunday night and you have been gone three days now. I moved your kennel to the basement : it was too painful to see it every time I walked into the bedroom. I also try to leave the house as soon as I can and stay away, if possible. I had to get rid of your food, bowls, etc. that was difficult. I keep thinking you are right next to me on the couch, wrapped in your white blanket. My brain hasn’t really accepted the fact that you left: at the same time the pain I feel inside is terrible. Wish that ache would go away . At least with not eating I am losing weight. I miss our walks and wondered if the neighbors wonder where you are ? I think I am rambling here, but my head is in a fog trying to deal with not having you with me. I am alone now in this house and even though I am trying to keep busy: I feel so lonely without you here . Heck, I even miss when you pass gas ! At night I talk to you. Do you hear me ? That’s when I miss your snoring: it was a comfort to me. Have a good night my little baby and give Grandpop some kisses for me. Ok ?
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Mysweetsimba
mismaloyo I'm so sorry for your loss. It's 5 weeks since my Simba left, and I wish for him everyday. I hope we can grow passed this, to learn to remember with love and not with sadness. Letting them go is extremely hard. Keep your eyes out for signs. We all believe here that they do things to let you know they are ok. I am practicing Bardo, it's a Buddhist thing where they say the spirit comes back occasionally during 39 days after. Maybe this will help you too.
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Mismaloya
Mysweetsimba: thanks for your message. It is strange you mentioned looking for a sign. In the Spring, I purchased several Angel Trumpet plants from a woman living nearby. She told they probably will not bloom this year . I have not noticed anything, but leaves on them until just this morning. I walk out to water them and there is a huge yellow flower in the one plant, with two more buds. On another plant there are 7 buds! I wondered at that time, if it could be my baby girl Marilyn giving me a sign, but disregarded it. Thanks for telling me perhaps it is her .
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