Dear Peanut, Mommy misses you so much ! What I would give to hold you or see you staring at me one more time. I will always love you my little buddy. I don't like not having you here with me. Winter will be starting soon and I will miss how we would cuddle up on the couch or in bed. It's so hard for me to go to bed now without you next to me. This pain is so hard. You were my best friend..always there for me no matter what. It is just so empty here without you. You always followed me everywhere. You gave me life. You helped my depression.i just can't believe you are gone. It was 3 weeks on Thanksgiving and now coming up on a month. I don't even know how I made it this far. I sleep with your sweater every night and always have it by my side on the couch. I wish I could have afforded to get your ashes. I feel so bad about that. I keep reliving that day when I had to put you down. I'm having a bad day today. Crying for you. I took care of you the best I could till the very end. I thank God for blessing me with you for 14 yrs. But it wasn't enough for me. I wish I would wake up and find out this is just a dream. I love you so so much! Mommy
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Gmr - A month of your dear Peanut's absence is not a long time at all, and it's completely normal that you are grappling every day with how much you miss your beloved.

I'm sending a link that you may find helpful. It pertains mostly to the death of our dear humans, but the principles are exactly the same. Peanut WAS your family, and the absence of an animal companion can often be more difficult than that of a human.

It's so hard to face the daily routine without that comfort and familiarity and instant feedback and all the love that animated it all, isn't it?

We're all struggling with our pain, and I'm glad we can support each other.

Sending peaceful thoughts...
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Gucci..thank you for your kind words and the link. I learned some things from that link that I need to start doing. Comfort and peace to you as well.
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My heart aches for you in the aftermath of your loss of Peanut. You said that you were together for (14) years. That's a long time. Peanut was your best friend and Rock of Gibraltar. Peanut was your emotional blanket of calm. I felt the exact same way about my dog. It's been (3) months for me and I still cry every day. That was a good link that Gucci sent you. I clicked on it to see for myself.  The (10) things that Megan Devine gave are good. I wanted to add (1) more that I didn't see on that list:

Reaching Out for support:  In the first few weeks after my little girl left me, I needed lots of emotional support. People did send sympathy cards but I needed the sound of a compassionate human voice to validate my feelings of sadness, guilt, anxiety and loneliness. That's right, I just started calling people up to converse with them - many of whom I hadn't spoken to in years. Yes, it was hard to do but it did work. I was pleasantly surprised to find that most people were very receptive to me. I didn't want to speak with a grief counselor as I hate the idea that they (Counselors) keep an emotional distance from you. They have their professional ethics that dictate that they can't become involved to any degree with your grief. I like it better - and am more comfortable - when I can share my thoughts with someone and have them share back. You may be surprised at how understanding people can be if given the proper chance. It could be family, friends, neighbors, acquaintances, co-workers, fellow church members or even a support group. It did work for me. I hope that it can work for you too. 

Sending comforting thoughts your way,

Jim Miller
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