Jdjagger
Let me start out by saying how sorry I am to all of you who lost a friend. You are all in my thoughts and prayers. I wish I had time to reply to each and every one of you individually. It is a difficult time for all of us and it hurts bad. I came on this forum almost 9 years ago when I Lost Jake. I was devastated and waking up without him or any dog in the house was gut wrenching. I decided almost immediately that I needed a dog and that is where Jagger came into my life. It was the best decision I could have made because Jagger and I bonded instantly and were inseparable. Now 9 years later I am once again grieving the loss of my best friend. The situation is different this time because we have other dogs and my female who Jagger nurtured when she was sick is depressed. I am struggling with deciding when is the right time to introduce a new puppy for her and I. I so badly want to give another puppy a chance at a good life. I know Jagger would want that, but how do I know when it is the right time for the other dogs. I told my wife my next dog would be named Hunter. I was just looking at rescue sites and the first dog that caught my eye was a Lab mix. I clicked on his page and his name was Hunter. Is that a sign to me ?
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GrievingHannah
Jdjagger wrote:
Let me start out by saying how sorry I am to all of you who lost a friend. You are all in my thoughts and prayers. I wish I had time to reply to each and every one of you individually. It is a difficult time for all of us and it hurts bad. I came on this forum almost 9 years ago when I Lost Jake. I was devastated and waking up without him or any dog in the house was gut wrenching. I decided almost immediately that I needed a dog and that is where Jagger came into my life. It was the best decision I could have made because Jagger and I bonded instantly and were inseparable. Now 9 years later I am once again grieving the loss of my best friend. The situation is different this time because we have other dogs and my female who Jagger nurtured when she was sick is depressed. I am struggling with deciding when is the right time to introduce a new puppy for her and I. I so badly want to give another puppy a chance at a good life. I know Jagger would want that, but how do I know when it is the right time for the other dogs. I told my wife my next dog would be named Hunter. I was just looking at rescue sites and the first dog that caught my eye was a Lab mix. I clicked on his page and his name was Hunter. Is that a sign to me ?


I am so sorry for your loss.  It's a tough question.  When Heidi died in 2007, Hannah took it hard for a couple of weeks.  So I believe that dogs grieve in their own way.  I wish I could tell you that there was a set amount of time to wait, but, alas, it probably depends on the disposition of the dogs.  In the end, you try to do your best. 

I really like that you're rescuing.  That's wonderful.  If I may, I'd like to share what Jagger's Last Will and Testament likely said:

JAGGER'S LAST WILL AND TESTAMENT

Before humans die, they write their last will & testament and give their house and all their worldly possessions to those they leave behind.  If, with my paws, I could write down my last will and testament, this is what I would say:

To a poor and lonely stray I'd give:

My happy home.

My bowl, cozy bed, soft pillows, and all my toys.

The lap that I loved so very much.

The hand that stroked my fur and the sweet voice that spoke my name.

I also leave to the sad, frightened shelter dog the place I occupied in my human parents' hearts, which seem to have no bounds for loving.

So when I die, please do not say, "I will never have a pet again, for the loss and pain is more than I can bear." Instead, please open your hearts to an unloved dog, one whose life has held no joy or hope, and please give MY place to him.

This is the only thing that I can give....THE LOVE I LEFT BEHIND.
Lee (Mack's and Hannah's and Heidi's and Janie's dad)

Fragile Circle

"We who choose to surround ourselves with lives even more temporary than our own, live within a fragile circle, easily and often breached.
Unable to accept its awful gaps, we still would live no other way.
We cherish memory as the only certain immortality,
never fully understanding the necessary plan."

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Jdjagger
Thank you Hannah. It is just so difficult knowing what to do. I know what Jagger would want, but I have to be careful because I don't want to make it worse for my other dogs. I think my girl would actually enjoy it, but I am just not sure. I am afraid bringing a new puppy in will take attention away from the others and I love them with all my heart so I don't want to do anything to make them feel left out. A little puppy requires a lot of attention. I have never been in this position. I have always only had one dog until now.
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Katel
Oh it does seem like an omen to me that the rescue dog on the site is called Hunter.  I applaud you for thinking of rescuing another dog, and I am sorry that you lost Jagger.  But you say you feel Jagger would want you to have another one and I think he would too.  Twice I have rescued dogs soon after my other ones passed on and not regretted it.  The little one Phoebe who I rescued late last year after my little girl dog died didn't get on with my surviving one.  Oh they were ok, friends, but not close, but then shortly after the surviving boy died too so I was laid really low.

  However Phoebe has helped me so much. I know she is not a replacement for the others and I will always mourn them, but she is a living little being who craves love and I have plenty for her.

Don't worry about your other dogs feeling left out as I can see you are loving, and you would share the love among them all and the new one would become part of the family. That's how it's been for me anyway.  Wishing you peace.

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mcianchette
We just went through this tough process...lost Winston in August, had another dog, Ike, still at home.  The added challenge is that Ike is 14-1/2 years old, so introducing another fur baby of any type was risky.  My two questions were the impact on an old dog...and would I be able to bring in a new dog who could be who they are, and not a replacement for Winston.  And we struggled with puppy vs. rescue.  Rescue would potentially older, but have a defined personality.  Puppy would be clean slate of personality, but a puppy!  

What helped me was the realization that whether or not we brought another dog in, we still had to process and adjust to the loss of Winston.  And that grieving doesn't happen overnight, it's part of a longer journey for Ike and us.  It evolves, ebbs and flows.  But it doesn't mean we couldn't move forward in some way.  After much deliberation, we ended up with Jack, a spirited 2 month old pup!  It's been a whirlwind, one half day at a time of adjusting, processing, acclimating to each other.  And we've simply given Ike extra support - his own walk, a special treat, a quick massage -  and slowly, our lives seems to be settling into a new normal.  

Everyone's situation is different.  The fact that you're struggling with this decision indicates you're a loving, compassionate dog owner with a heart big enough for all of them.  Trust yourself and trust that you'll know when the time is right.  You have a lot of love to give and Jagger will help you every step of the way.  Their spirits really do live on and guide us!  Blessings to all of you,
Winston...and Ike...and Jack's mom

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Jdjagger
We have been looking at dogs although we are not sure yet. We have determined it will be a puppy and it will be a rescue dog. Tomorrow we pick up Jagger's ashes so it will be a rough day. Thank you for all the support. I am glad I came to this website.
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