Loopylou
I lost my baby yesterday morning to a car. I have never felt such grief. It feels like im suffocating.
2.5 years ago i found Titan at hours old in my sisters back garden with two other kittens that didnt make it. I was told by vets and rspca to put her to sleep as she wouldnt make it and with sheer determination we fed and toileted her day and night for 9 weeks. Teaching her how to eat solid and use the litter tray (along with my other baby Luna). She was called Titan as we were told she was a he originally and she wasba little Titan.
It took me so long to agree to let her out I was so scared I would lose her but she was going crazy indoors and jumped out of the window when we were cleaning them.
Yesterday morning my baby was hit by a car around the back of my road. The vet called having identified her through her chip. She survived much worse I was expecting them to say she was ok but they didnt. I have never felt such immense pain before. I long to hold her and stroke her. I keep thinking about before I let her out, she was lying on my chest nuzzling and purring and I was kissing her paws ( she loved that as I did it as a kitten) she was playing with my fingers and kept jumping up and down. I keep thinking if I hadnt have let her out she would still be with me. I just feel so much pain I dont think I will ever get over it. Titan my sweetheart I love you so much and im sorry I wasn't with you to comfort you. Rest in peace my angel I will see you again oneday and hold you in my arms.
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Manjack
I am so sorry that you lost Titan.
Your devotion to her is evident in your post. She had 2 and a half wonderful years with you. I volunteer at a cat shelter and see the lonely lives they lead there craving human touch and affection.
Imagine how happy she was to have you kiss her paws. You made all the difference in her life and I imagine she found ways to thank you for rescuing her.
Your loss is so recent that I am sure you are probably in a state of shock. The unfortunate reality is that accidents happen. I can tell you though that whether we lose our pets to an accident, sickness, old age or whatever the cause the pain is the same. A huge void has opened up in our lives and we are left to grieve . That is what you have to do now, mourn the loss of Titan.
Dealing with pet loss is much harder than I ever thought it would be. It takes time, it is a rough road with many twists and turns.
However the raw, agonizing pain you feel today will subside. The initial days and weeks are the worst. In my case the raw pain changed into a resigned sadness.
When we love our pets as deeply as we do the pain we feel when we lose them is in proportion to that love. As hard as it is I would not trade a minute of the time I had with my little dog that I lost in April.
Sending you healing thoughts today.
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Sergei1_mybaby
I know your pain Loopylou, all too well. I'm so sad to hear of your loss of Titan. It's so horrible to lose our babies suddenly, without a chance to say goodbye. I lost my Sergei 3 weeks ago to a car. Life is not fair at all, I never got to say goodbye, my life stopped and I couldn't breathe, eat or sleep.
Manjack is right and many people are and have helped my on this forum. I wish I could help take the pain away, I cry every day for my little guy who was only two. I had him less than one year, so so difficult
Please reach out, write anytime.
I'm thinking of you and Titan today.
Hugs
Yvonne
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Loopylou
Thank you both so much for replying, it means so much to me. I am so sorry that u have also lost loved ones. I am glad I have my other cat luna to hold and kiss and comfort her as well. My heart is hurting so much and I keep looking at the road she died on and just cant believe it happened its just so senseless she was making her way home.I have always been there for her and it hurts to think she died all alone without her mummy.I am grateful though that I found her collar today, I knew she had it on the morning she left so I knew it would be close by. she has lost all the others and just having that is comfort. It hurts to think that I have such a long time until I see her again and I hope she knows that I love her always. Thank you for thinking of me whilst you are also still grieving
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Loopylou
Its so hard she was my alarm clock always up on the bed nuzzling me. I thought i felt her today. It hurts not having two babies waiting round my feet for breakfast and only filling one bowl. I jist dont know how im going to manage at work. Its so painful
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Loopylou
Its so hard she was my alarm clock always up on the bed nuzzling me. I thought i felt her today jumping on the bed. It hurts not having two babies waiting round my feet for breakfast and only filling one bowl. It hurts to open the catflap for one baby only. The worst pain is coming home and only having my luna greeting me at the door, no fight for who gets there first and Titan tripping me up attempting to rub against my leg.
When it rained I thought oh Titan will be grumpy she hates the rain then realised that shes gone. I just dont know how I will get over her loss
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Loopylou
Its been 5 days without you Titan and today felt like Saturday all over again. I cant stop thinking about you my precious girl and hope you are not being too naughty at the bridge. I remembered when you bought your first bird in, alive but featherless and you sat on the patio watching me and daddy chase it round the room. Or when you bought the frog home and daddy took it off you 4 times and sneaked it out when you werent watching, yet you still bought it back. Remember Titan those birdies and frogs are with you at the bridge so play nicely!!
Titan I hope with all my heart it was quick and you did not suffer, I hope you were already at the bridge before whoever hit you. I read something yesterday and they said you leave before trauma so I hope you did and I hope you went filled with the knowledge that we loved you such much and never ever wanted you to leave. A part of my soul has died since you left but I know you will be waiting for me and I will see you again, feel your paws on my face and your little nose against mine. I know not yet and it feels like eternity but I will be with you again we all will be together again. You, me, daddy and luna.
I love you forever my sweet sweet gorgeous girl xx
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