TriciaK
Hi,

I'm new to the forum and would be grateful for any help or advice. 

I lost my Maine Coon Georgie to a road traffic accident last Sept when he manged to escape out of the garden.  It took us six weeks to find his body in a neighbours garden under a bush.   My husband brought him home and buried him beside his brother Leo in our garden.  
I had six cats at that time, but had a special love and connection with Georgie, I had hoped the pain would get easier with time  but it has'nt and in fact it seems worse.
During the six weeks he was absent, I walked the neighbourhood for miles posting leaflets through doors and on walls, took out newspaper adverts, hired a private detective and did all I could to find him but to no avail.   I was devastated when his body was found, but knew had he been alive he would have come home.

Three months after Georgie passed, our domestic/rescue cat Harry became ill, we used to joke Harry would live to see us all down as he was so healthy and happy with us since we rescued him and gave him a loving home.  Sadly, Harrys illness turned out to be the wet and more serious form of FIP, he was insured so we tried interferon with our vets approval but to no avail.  We finally knew we had to make that awful decision as it was obvious our Harry was suffering and not himself, nor ever would be again. 

This is what concerns me (apart from Georgie's loss), I wanted Harrys passing to be as peaceful as possible for him, our vet knows us and our cats very well and suggested I hold him while he had a sedative to relax him first.  I was happy with this and Harry purred in my arms as we spoke gently to him, we had thought he'd go asleep before we left as we could'nt face being there at the end.  The vet said she could give him a little more of the sedative if we wished and we agreed, this was a bad idea as Harry jumped up dizzily and began trying to jump off the table totally disorientated and agitated.  We both were so distressed to think that by trying to make it easy on  him (and us) we'd obviously caused this distress to him:(

I miss them both so much still despite our other cats, I'm feeling guilty I did'nt prevent Georgie escaping and that I handled Harrys passing badly despite my good intentions.

I'm sorry this is so long, but I'm so glad I found somewhere to let this all out amongst people who may understand.  Is it normal to still grieve for a pet this long after thay have passed???

Thank you for any replies

Tricia x

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judylinn

a wise friend said to me."you did the very best you could"  and this is so true about everyone here. Im so sorry, that was really hard for you. it was last week for me. remember you did the best you could, with all the kindness from your heart.  things happen sometimes.  though harry had a momentary bit of confusion, he is now flying free and knows that you loved him. rem,ember it was 1 moment in his life, He is running free now, grateful for what you did for him.  Love to you. I share your grief.  hugs.  Judylinn

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TriciaK
Thank you Judy, I'm also so sorry for your loss too.  

I know we gave Harry and Georgie a good home and they were so content here with us, I just long to have them both back you know??   I know it's impossible, but a friend told me it's healing to write down your thoughts and I think she's right:)

I'm very glad I knew these two very special little guys!

Thanks again, was it the dog in your avatar you lost??

Tricia x

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harvey
I have found that writing down your thoughts, and even talking to your furry child helps. I lost Samantha Saturday, and the pain is almost unbearable.
I pray you find comfort. Animals know your feelings and love us unconditionally.

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TriciaK
Harvey,

Thanks for replying to me and I'm so sorry for your loss of Samantha too:(

Has anyone found a pet communicator to be helpful?   I know I'm grasping at straws but read a book on this and it's so beliveable anf tempting...

Tricia x

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tikibarb
Both of your furry babies know you love them and you would never do anything to cause them pain.  I am so sorry you are in such pain.  I used a pet communicator once for my living but very cranky Jack Russell.  I am not sure she really told me anything I didn't know but I did feel a sort of difference in him after (for the better).  Maybe I am crazy.  I am afraid to use one to talk to Ted who passed on 7/7.  I don't know why.  Please let us know if you decide to try it...
Barbara Lyngarkos
My Beloved Ted 8/7/2005 - 7/7/10
http://rainbowsbridge.com/residents/TED001/Resident.htm
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always_tuffy

Dear TriciaK,

The English language does not contain appropriate words to console you and all others who have lost their soulmates, their companions.  All I can say is my heart goes out to you on your double loss.  I'm so sorry.

You have come to the right place tho' as we all understand you INTENSE pain.

Grief and the road to recovery comes in all shapes and sizes TriciaK.  There is no "normal" in the amount of time our tears for our loved one flow.

The second page here at RB Bridge has two articles of comfort.  Pls read them one is "Suggestions for Someone Who's Grieving" and the another is about Euthanasia. 

Another site that has given me great comfort is at
 http://www.pet-loss.net

At their page "Ten Tips on Coping with the Loss of a Pet" under the heading "Guilt" it states "Guilt may occur if you feel responsible for your pet's death--the 'if only I had been more careful' syndrome.  It is pointless and ofter erroneous to burden yourself with guilt for the accident or illness that claimed your pet's life, and only makes it more difficult to resolve your grief."

Your friend is right about writing out your feelings and this is the place to do it.  Pls keep sharing, we'll keep replying.

My user name is is always_tuffy.  He was a dog, but I have 2 cats and have had many over the years.  This time my best friend, Tuffy, was sick for a week, and even tho' I'd taken him to the vet 4 times that week and the vet said he was getting better I knew he wasn't.  After a reallly rough weekend with him at home, on Monday July 26, 2010, I took him in at 9:45am.  I watched the vet carry him back to ICU.  I left so assured that the vet would make him better--he died at 10 am, before I even go home.
So, TriciaK I know about the GUILT  and the "IF ONLYS".

Your other babies need your love and attention, let them help you heal.  As far as the pet communicator goes, to each their own.  But I contend that if you sit quitely and LISTEN--your babies will come to you, with a thought or possibly with a physical sign.

In any case TriciaK, they loved you, they know you loved them, they are at peace and THEY FORGIVE YOU.


always_tuffy
Tuffy's Momma Puppy

Death leaves a heartache no one can heal;
Love leaves a memory no one can steal.

Tuffy, My Puppy Love
June 20, 2005-July 26, 2010

Becky Leigh, Queen of my Heart
December 2010-November 10, 2015
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judylinn

yes the avatar is my maddie girl.

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judylinn
everynight before I go to bed, I write about maddie, love, remembrances etc. and finish it with kisses of love and goodnight. It really helps to write
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judylinn

tikibarb, I had an animal communicator that helped pinpoint exactly where maddies pain was a few years ago. I contacted her a few days ago. for me, i needed to.

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otto12

I'm so sorry for your loss tricia. I know what it feels like, our cat got ran over 7 weeks ago and the pain is overwhelming. I know the guilt you are feeling thinking what if? and I should have done this or that then it wouldn't have happened. I´ve been filled with guilt too wishing I could go back to that day when the accident happen so I could change things. Please keep on writing here cause it helps, we all know what it feels like and it helps to talk about it.

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TriciaK
Thank you all very much for taking the time to reply, I appreciate all your comments and it really does help to share this grief with other's who understand and have been there too.

Otto12, I'm so sorry for your loss too, I also go through that longing of wanting to turn the clock back:(

Judy, Maddie was gorgous and I really hope we see all our furry friends some day:)

Tuffy, thank you so much and also for the link!

Tricia x

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donnalee
TriciaK,
Yes, it does take a long time and I think it is an individual thing...it just takes as long as we need.   You also had 2 losses within a relatively short period of time which probably only intensifies the feelings. 
I don't think we ever stop missing them, though.  I know when I first lost Scottie, people were telling me about the losses they had experienced.   My brother (who is now in his forties) started talking about his little dog that got run over right in front of him when he was a child.  Tears started running down his cheeks as he remembered it.  Then,  a lady I work with was telling me about the Sheltie she had as a child that she loved so dearly.  As she looked at a picture of Scottie I had on my desk, she told me about her Sheltie who passed many years ago, she started to cry.  I realized that you go on with your life but the love never goes away!

TuffysMom-I know your pain is so fresh, you just recently lost your baby, too.  Yet, you always write the most thoughtful posts on others' threads.  Thank you for taking the time to give such helpful information!  
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jasminesmom
TriciaK

My heart cries with you from your loss. For me it was the most devastating event in my life. Since 09-09-09, my life has been consumed with 'guilt', what if's and anger and grief. A vet mistake and my lack of knowledge of 'searching before giving', killed my beloved Jasmine. I gave her the pill that killed her. So guilt is in bedded deep in my soul.

Time will make the grief more bearable but time will not ever take away the love, the memories of your precious Harry and George.

You asked if it was normal to grieve for a pet this long? Yes for I believe the love shared is far greater than the love any human is capable of giving to each other.

They will always be our furbabies. 

Prayers for you and your family.
Cheryl and Angel Jasmine
Jasmine was loved
Jasmine was given ProIn
Jasmine is now gone
http://RainbowsBridge.com/residents/JAMIN001/Resident.htm
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niki
Hi Trisha
i am so sorry to read your post, but also know that sharing your sadness here does help somuch.
 
so sorry to hear about Georgie and Harry, i am a devoted cat lover and found this place after losing my little black girl cat to cancer- 6months tomorrow (she left us valentines day, i am dreading the next one)
Her name was MINT, she had a twin who i love and adore and has helped me thru the AGONY. Her name is OCELOT (My avatar!!)
The pain of seeing Ocelot confused as to where her little sister has gone was unbearable,
Losing MINT was the worst thing i had been thru. I have been thru guilt, anger, depression,upset, confusion and disbelief...............nightmares too
 
i UNDERSTAND how you feel nearly a year later with Georgie, i dont think you ever get over losing a beloved pet.
Harry too, how traumatising to go thru that at the vets, BUT.................you gave those 2 cats the best life and love they could have,always remember that......................it helps to write down feelings here, we understand.
 
take care
Niki x
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