I wonder if there are others pet parents that have had similar head struggles. We had to say good bye to our fur daughter, Scampi almost 4 weeks ago due to tumors that were causing neurological problems. The loss is still so hard and raw. The last few days my mind keeps going back the night we let her go. She fought the Vet with everything she had while they attempted administer the sedation shot . Granted She was in a unfamiliar 24 hour emergency hospital with a doctor she had never seen before so maybe this added to her stress. I question if she wasn't ready to leave us or was she just terrified by the whole unfamiliar situation ? The vet said she's had 100 lbs. dogs that didn't resist and fight like scampi did. The vet was finally able to complete the procedure and she died peacefully in my arms. I just feel so bad that she felt such terror before hand. It horrifies me that her last few moments on this earth with us wasn't as I would have hoped for. She was OUR everything for almost 18 years. its a tuff time and its easy to question yourself about everything. Our fur kids are our responsibility and most of us want the best for them and want to know we did right by them.
Bill roberts
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First off, let me tell you how sorry I am for your loss of Scampi. And yes, the loss is hard and raw for everyone in here regardless how they lost their beloved one. Read through any thread in here and you will find almost everyone questioning. Maybe it is simply a human thingy to do, I dont know as of yet.

There are various posts and threads in here that question euthanasia very seriously - I guess it is a personal thing on how you look at euthanasia altogether: If you see it as a relief from suffering or as a "playing God" in deciding something that you should not decide.

So I can only try to describe the way I personally look at euthanasia - or as the original Greek meaning is: The "good, right, beautiful" way of dying.

But I wish to start ahead of this, long before we think about "the end". The time when we start to visit the vet for the first time which is quite early, right? We already fight the course of "ugly nature" by applying all kinds of meds to make sure that nothing "out there" will harm our pets. Then we might come to the point where we start to actually prolong the life of our pets. We do not think about this really but right then and there, we already "play God" in deciding, right? The life expectancy of a wolf in nature is around 6 years and I think we should always keep this in mind.

And still, with all our precautions that we took, one fine day... they will just die. So -in my mind- the question is not when but how. We love them, so we do not want them to ever suffer. We do not want to sit around and watch them suffocate or witness the burst of a cancerous tumor or live out a kidney failure, right? (And dont think that pets dont feel the same pain a human would feel with the very important option to talk about it  in such situation ) So what other option is there? I honestly do not know any other option but to intervene once again as we had done so often before.

The very truth about this option is as you have so dreadfully experienced that it had not been so very peaceful at first. Same same thing was told to us when we euthanised Max. As the vet started "the procedure" (done at home) she told us that Max could fight the first shot because he had to be moved in the right position. He did not - so we were blessed and lucky.

You are very right -in my mind- in assuming that it might have been the unfamilar situation Scampi was in - a scary situation indeed for her - but ever so often there are situations in life we simply cannot predict and even though we had planned so well beforehand, things just do not turn out the way we had originally wished for. In other words: You found yourself in an emergency situation with no other option but acting in true love and care for your beloved Scampi. Her reaction could not be predicted by all means.

You wrote: ....."and she died peacefully in my arms." And why not focus on this???

In truth you have done everything possible any loving human could have done in your situation. You only wanted the best and you did the best and you are very right that it is our responsibility to do right by them. In my eyes, Bill, it is all too clear that you did best by Scampi.

I hope my thoughts were of any help to you

Know that my good thoughts are with you
Silvia (with Max forever in my heart)


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Dear Bill

I am so sorry for your loss of your beloved Scampi.  What an angel, I love the sun glasses.

Your feelings are perfectly normal, all of us who had to make this decision on behalf of our beloved fur babies are riddled with questions and filled at times with guilt.  Not to minimize people who lose their fur babies naturally, I certainly did not wish to have to make this decision.  We chose the ultimate act of love to end our beloved's pain and suffering and have our own pain and suffering begin.

Hard as it is, try to member that animals can be much more intuitive than we are and have senses that we do not have.  Although Scampi was a "fighter" as was my Mia, Scampi knew you loved her more than you loved yourself and was there for her.  Like Mia, it sounds like she passed peacefully. 

Even though now, most of the time I accept that I don't understand why things happen the way they do and that events happened as part of a greater plan, I still have times I get angry and rail against losing Mia.  When this happens I try to remember that I cannot change the past or bring Mia back, much as I would like to.  Ultimately I want her to rest in peace and she would want me to be at peace in my life.

May thoughts and prayers are with you, take care of yourself.  Cynthia.
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