hollywalla Show full post »
hollywalla

Elaine, I am so sorry for your loss. I know just how difficult and painful this time is for you. Everyday is still difficult for me too, but coming here and just knowing I'm not alone with my grief has helped tremendously. Please message me anytime if you would like to talk.

Hugs,

Holly

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julieandfurbabies
Dear Holly, I am so very sorry for your loss.  Please know that there is nothing for your baby to forgive you were and are a wonderful Mummy and did what was best for your baby girl.  We all go through the 'what if's' it is one of the emotions we all feel when we are griefing as it is part and parcel of the process.  I am also so sorry for you all that have recently lost your best friends.  I really feel for you all and know exactly what you are feeling as I have been there and am still suffering with the loss of my baby girl.  Know that we are all here for you and there are some wonderful people on this forum that really do care and are here to help you through your grief. 
Big hugs to you xxx
Love Julie x
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hollywalla

Thank you Julie for your kind words. I too am so sorry for your loss. I must admit that I am still really struggling with some serious guilt. I hope that one day those horrible thoughts with fade with only good, happy memories at the forefront.

 

I am so thankful for all of you here on this forum. Sadly, it seems that when it comes to animals, most people truly don't understand the intense bond, love and tremendous loss that every one of us have experienced. It does give me comfort that there are others that do understand.

Hugs,

Holly

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heartsick

Just know we are ALL here for you and you are NEVER alone.

This awful pain and grief is something that only those of us who had soul bonded with our babies know. We who have had the joy of being half of one soul with our babies know the pain of losing them - the awful raw and searing pain that is the other half of the love.

I will always be here for you.

My Love is with You,

Susan

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heartsick

Holly,

Thank you for ALL of your support. I have needed it lately as one of those drops on the grief roller coaster got me. I know I will be up again and I know I will be down again.

Thank you for the gift of your friendship.

It means a great deal to me.

I have been thinking of you too.

We will help each other through the tough days

and laugh with each other on the laughter through tears days.

My Love to You My Friend,

Susan

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heartsick

Hi Holly,

Just checking in to see how you are coping?

My Love to You,

Susan

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heartsick

Just checking on you.

Hi. I hope the tears are coming a bit less frequently.

I am having good days ans bad days in no particular

order or length.

I am Thinking of You,

My Love to You,

Susan

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hollywalla

Hi Susan,

It's been extremely tough the last couple days. I'm trying so hard to work through this grief and let go of the guilt of the mistakes I made at the end, but no matter what I do, the agonizing grief and guilt seem to follow. I've read so many self help books that I feel as if I could write one myself, lol.....yet the comfort I get from journaling, reading books, etc is always temporary; and then the pain and loss hits me like a tidal wave.

 

 

 

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heartsick

Holly I am so very sorry.

You know Deca LOVES you as you LOVE her.

Guilt is part of grieving. It is awful and makes everything worse.

You did every single thing you could for your baby.

There are days I replay Bear's last day with me over and over thinking

I should have known to do something. But there was no warning at all that we would got to sleep curled up together and only I would wake up. If I let it those thoughts will drive me up a wall. There is not a thing you would not have done for your baby.

It is barely 8 weeks for you.

I do not even remember most of the first 12 weeks after Bear died. People will say oh we talked about such and such in August and I won't remember anything about it.

You are grieving normally it is just an AWFUL process and a TERRIBLE feeling.

I am ALWAYS here for you to vent.

I care about you my friend.

I am thinking of you.

My Love to You,

Susan

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Lavendar
Even though we know we will out live our companions, we just don't think about it.  Almost 18 years ago, I kept 2 litter mates from a litter I purposely created.  I had cats my whole life so I knew exactly what I was getting into. Almost 16 yrs later Fuzzy had been suffering for years and although I had been preparing for a while when the time finally came I was devastated to think one day I would be completely alone and it tore me apart.  I still had her brother, although healthy he was 16 and suspected he had a milder case of her issues.  A couple weeks ago he was diagnosed with Pancreatitis after losing weight etc.  And his mild issues became dominant.  I felt horrible that I waited too long with her and decided to spare him any further pain.  When she got sick many years prior I had stopped just about everything else in my life. My husband worked opposite schedule and I was able to just be with them as much as I wanted.  When she passed I spent every moment I could with him and now that he is gone I have no idea what to do.  And any kind of happiness feels wrong.  I was reading that guilt/pain are strong like the love we feel for them and we hang on to it to be connected as we once were. The thought of not having that profound feeling in my life is heart wrenching. 

Over the years we weren't able to have kids and we need to move, but living in SF we can't get more pets unless we buy. My life seems so empty and the future so unappealing.

I hope one day I can retire and become a crazy cat lady. The saddest thing I've ever heard is that black cats get adopted less often and want to start the "Midnight Ranch".

You are not alone.
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MonaGirl
Hugs to all. I prayed to God every hour to get me thru when my Mona past away on August 24. It was so hard, she was my life. I miss her so much, I couldn't bear it all alone, God was all that helped me.
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MonaGirl
When Mom came home to die, in June 2007, she came home to our little apartment from the hospital, she lasted two weeks and past away. Mona got me thru it all. I feel so bad because it was so hard on Mona, too. The stress and grief was horrible. She held it all together.
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MonaGirl
If you need to get ensure and Tums etc, get it, so you can live. I had to have that when Mona past away.
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MissMyBunny
It is just horrible to lose a pet. They are the sweetest little friends.
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