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TaraN

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Reply with quote  #1 
Words cannot express the deep devastation I am feeling right now. My dog, Alaska, went in for ACL surgery yesterday (which happened to be my birthday) and never woke up. I had no idea that was going to be the last time I saw her alive. I would have done so many things differently. Comforted her before the surgery. Fed her chicken. Let her sleep with me. Instead, I gave her a quick kiss and told her it would be okay when they took her from me to prepare for surgery. Her last awake moments were with people she didn't even know. She was only 7. I thought I would have another 7 with her. So much of my life revolved around her. I didn't want to get out of bed this morning because i knew she wouldn't be there. I feel like i can't handle this deep, shocking pain. I am feeling so much guilt and keep having all these "what if?" thoughts. She trusted me and now she is gone.
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Kai_Baby1

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Reply with quote  #2 
Quote:
Originally Posted by TaraN
Words cannot express the deep devastation I am feeling right now. My dog, Alaska, went in for ACL surgery yesterday (which happened to be my birthday) and never woke up. I had no idea that was going to be the last time I saw her alive. I would have done so many things differently. Comforted her before the surgery. Fed her chicken. Let her sleep with me. Instead, I gave her a quick kiss and told her it would be okay when they took her from me to prepare for surgery. Her last awake moments were with people she didn't even know. She was only 7. I thought I would have another 7 with her. So much of my life revolved around her. I didn't want to get out of bed this morning because i knew she wouldn't be there. I feel like i can't handle this deep, shocking pain. I am feeling so much guilt and keep having all these "what if?" thoughts. She trusted me and now she is gone.


It hurts me too so much to read your story for I feel your heartfelt pain. Believe me tears are flowing for you and your beloved Alaska. To be taken from you so unexpectedly for a fairly routine procedure is gut wrenching beyond words. I am so, so sorry! I know you probably can't see it now, but Alaska would have been so enormously comforted by your love before she left. You see, you DID show your unwavering love to Alaska before she passed over. You gave Alaska that kiss and told her all would be OK and that's the last precious memory Alaska would have taken with her. NOT the vets or the cold room, no, no, no..She would have thought of you and you only and smiled and said, my life is fulfilled now because you loved me so much mommy! My life was worth living because of you my darling mommy. She trusted you because sweet you, yes YOU was worthy of that trust! You have not wronged her in anyway at all. You took her for surgery out of love, and your beloved Alaska KNOWS that! You did everything you could to help her and that it is all that matters!! Please know that she is never far from you, call to her, speak to hear, she will hear you and reply, I promise! Love and blessings to you and Alaska xxoo
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TaraN

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Reply with quote  #3 
Thank you for your kind words. It's so sad knowing how many more people are suffering this kind of pain and loss. It's still so fresh. Everything reminds me of her. I wasn't prepared. I wasn't ready. I still can't believe she is gone
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Missmysweetboy

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Reply with quote  #4 
Tara,
I am so very sorry about your baby Alaska. What a tragedy. My heart goes out to you. It is such a shock to lose your sweet furr baby with absolutely no warning. I know your heart feels broken beyond repair. Believe me, i remember all too well. But, in time, this horrible despair you are experiencing will subside. Many hugs to you.
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TaraN

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Reply with quote  #5 
Thank you. It's hard to get out of bed. She's not here for breakfast or to go outside. And today would have been a day I would have walked with her. But she's not here. Her sweet face is gone.
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Kai_Baby1

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Reply with quote  #6 
Quote:
Originally Posted by TaraN
Thank you. It's hard to get out of bed. She's not here for breakfast or to go outside. And today would have been a day I would have walked with her. But she's not here. Her sweet face is gone.


My sweet baby girl Kai visited me in my sleep not long after she passed over and said to me "mommy I am dead, but I am not dead":. I was a Little alarmed at first until it dawned on me it was a message of great hope and love. She was telling me that although her body was finished with her spirit her very being wasn't, it was still very much alive and right with me, Please hang onto that thought as Alaska is still very much around you too! Sending you lots of love and hugs xx
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