Pagmem
Today is a month since we put our beloved Boxer Max down, and tonight, for the first time in many months, it was pleasant enough to sit on the front porch. Until now, it has been too hot, even at night. But this evening there was a slight breeze and I watched the sun set and the moon come up opposite. We have a family of Great Horned Owls in our neighborhood and I listened to the juvenile owls screech. And suddenly, I missed Max so much. He always sat outside with me. When he knew I was getting ready to go sit outside, he’d always be staring at me, tail wagging. I missed him and wanted some sign that he was still around. I talk to him all the time and sometimes even feel his presence, but tonight, I felt empty and alone. I couldn’t connect with him, I didn’t feel him, and it really upset me.

Don’t know what else to say, but thanks for listening/reading.

Melissa
Melissa
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BorderCollieLover
Beautiful sentiment. Thanks for sharing.
Jim Miller
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pannklaus
The feelings you are describing are common when  we are grieving.   We may be  at a  place where the grief is about the same every day as we go through a daily routine.  Then there is a new activity which we used to share with our beloved fur baby and now he isn't there with us.  This triggers a  more intense grief with all the feelings of emptiness, loss and feeling alone.

It hasn't been that long since you lost your precious Boxer Max.  You will probably experience different levels of grief and go through different cycles as you continue to go through this very painful grieving process.  If we love our babies, we will grieve when they are gone and experience great sadness, misery and pain.  I am sorry that you are having to go through this but you are with others who are experiencing the same kinds of feelings and understand.
Patsy
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Mysweetsimba
Melissa, I'm so sorry for how you feel. I get an itchy guilt going in the garden. That was my cats happy place. He made a perfect cat size hole on the fence, so he could literally sit on the other side in my neighbor overgrown garden, like he sometimes needed to have his own space but right by us. I blocked that hole, I don't want any other cat going through his space.
They say that if our companions visit us after, it won't be all the time and it would be intermittent. I know what you are saying, I wish I could feel Simba around. I hope together we are able to live with the love we have for them, not the loss.
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Pagmem
Thank you all for your kind and loving words.

Many blessings to you,

Melissa
Melissa
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