KadyMcGann
About a month ago, 6/7, I had to say goodbye to my cat, Gretal. Tonight, my family and I had to say good bye to our 16 yr old mini schnauzer, Timmy. We got Timmy in 2004 when he was a puppy and  when I was six, and he has been a constant presence in my life since. The past year he has been getting frailer but was still his happy little constantly-hungry self, plus some diapers for an old bladder. He even got the zoomies up until a few days ago, a 16 yr old dog running around like a puppy! He was fine this morning, even got some bologna, but by this afternoon he was shaky and wasn't reacting to us or food. We took him to the emergency vet, where they told us he either had pancreatitis, a ruptured gallbladder, or a mass of cancer but they couldn't tell with out an ultrasound. They told us he was in a lot of pain and may not even make it to the ultrasound, and even if he did aggressive treatment might only guarantee him a short amount of time left. It was terrible to let him go, but we couldn't let him suffer. I just feel empty now. I had Timmy and my cat Gretal for so long, and now they are both just gone. I feel like my life has been shattered around me. I have never seen my dad cry as much as I did tonight when he was holding Timmy as we let him go. Timmy was a constant companion for my disabled and house-bound mom, and she is devastated. It hurts so freaking much. Getting rid of all of his stuff is going to be torture. I miss my little man so much. Since Gretal passed I was extra attached to Timmy, and he followed me around the house up until this afternoon. This morning I told him extra how much I loved him and how good of a dog he had been, like I sensed what was coming. He had been a senior for a while and so we were preparing for this day, but no one is ever truly prepared. My family and I are just gutted. It feels like my home is empty, devoid of joy. I know it was his time and that we couldn't have let him suffer any more, the vet said it would be a lot of invasive tests and blood work that would be a lot for an old guy like him, it wasn't worth it it wouldn't have been fair to Tim. He passed in my dad's lap peacefully, which is fitting because he was such a daddy's boy. I just dearly miss him, and I miss Gretal. I feel like I have a hole in my stomach. I miss my lil Tim and my baby Gretal, their passings in such a short amount of time is a nightmare come true. I am in pain.
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KadyMcGann
My handsome little man
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KadyMcGann
It's the morning after putting him down. I feel like I should be going to let him outside to sniff around the yard. I just found a little tuft of his hair on the stairs where he used to walk up to get back inside. Having to gather up his stuff today is going to be hell. He was my shadow, following me around the house wherever I went this past month. For 16 years he was my best little bud through thick and thin, everyone knew he was much more than a dog to my family. It is so devastating, our house is so empty. I miss you Tim, I hope you have found Gretal and that you two are snoozing away in the sun. I love you, mom misses you so much. You were here yesterday morning, and everything seemed normal. How did it happen so quickly? You were old but it is still heart breaking. We miss you so much, you have no idea how much light you brought into our lives, or hopefully you do know. 
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P_Mom
Oh look at that sweet and beautiful little scruffy face. ❤ I'm so sorry for the loss of your sweetie Timmy and your kitty Gretal. They are part of the family bringing so much love and joy - losing them is excruciating.  

Everything you describe is how I feel about my chihuahua boy Patch I had to let go at 15.  He was aging but still never ever prepared for that day or life without them. It sounds like Timmy was fully loved and cared for by your family and you will be a good support system for each other.   Wishing you all peace now and in the days ahead. ❤❤
Jennifer
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Monroegirl
So very sorry to hear about Timmy.  It's so very difficult.
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KadyMcGann
The empty house is the worst part. The silence, no little paws pattering around anymore. I look at the two urns and all I can feel inside is hurt and loneliness. I miss the companionship. Timmy and Gretal were with me and my family for so long, it really feels like a nightmare. I have been waking up in the middle of the night with bad anxiety, thinking about them. I am so happy and lucky to have had them in my life, but it is so terrible with out them here. How could two little balls of love end up as two cold urns? I know it's nature, but it doesn't make it any easier.
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Monroegirl
I understand your feelings on that. I feel like I'm backsliding and my grief is worse now three months later than it was two months ago.
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KadyMcGann
I still can't believe that I don't have my babies around. My dad still accidentally calls for Gretal sometimes, forgetting that she's not there. It's so sad. The other night was beautiful weather and so we sprinkled Timmy's ashes in the yard because that was his favorite place to be, and popped a bottle of champagne in celebration of the lives of two great animals, who were beyond pets- they were members of our family. It felt a little bit like closure, but my heart still hurts when I think about them. I wanted to keep Gretal's ashes. I applied to foster cats in the future, I'd like to help as many cats as I can in my life. Dogs as well, but my living situation would be some what difficult to foster a dog. I am looking forward to it. 

I can't help but think about how warm and soft Gretal was when she sat on me, and I really miss her presence. She had such a calming effect on me. She was my best friend, it feels so wrong to be here without her by my side. And it feels so so wrong to not see Timmy's food bowls in the kitchen, and Gretal's in the basement. It hurts so badly. 
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KadyMcGann
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Timmy and Gretal in one of their favorite spots- bed.
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