It's 2 mths and a week since putting my dog down. The crying has decreased and now comes in waves. I'm starting to realize that I did what I had to to help my baby. The thing I struggle with now is this sudden realization at times that my baby is not coming back and that makes me feel so out of control that I can't do anything about it. I then get a bit mad saying why did she have to go? I start thinking how it's not fair but then I read some of the postings here and realize how blessed I was to have her the 14 yrs I did. So many here have had less time or tragic circumstances so then I realize I have nothing to complain about. Coming here helps to write my feelings. I also have a battery operated candle that I light when I get up in the morning and turn off when I go to bed. I have her paw prints right next to the candle. And I also have a pic in a frame next to the couch and next to my bed. All these things seem to help me in some way. But then I get mad that she's gone. I think about how much she helped me with my depression and getting me up and moving. I know one day I will want another baby to love and that will help me, but how can you ever love another baby without feeling like you are replacing the one you lost. I pray if its God's will that one day he may send me another little angel and best friend. Winters hard without my angel but I know spring and summer will be worse because of all the places we would walk together and do together. Not looking forward to that . I miss you Peanut. Mommy loves you so much. It's ok to visit me now. You would help your Mommy so much if you did. Hugs..kisses...Pat's on the head to you my baby.
Quote 0 0

  I know that it's very tough for you, as it is for me, not having your baby with you for walks and companionship. I really miss taking walks with my little girl and enjoyng the great outdoors. Especially Sunday mornings. We used to go early at dawn and walk for (2) miles or so. It was so peaceful and serene. We hardly ever encountered many people. On occasion, we would see someone jogging or an early riser walking their dog but mostly we had the neightborhood to ourselves. It was the best. Sunday morning was our precious time together. I really miss that. 

Warmest regards,

Jim Miller
Quote 0 0