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MonaGirl
Hugs to everyone, our journey is a hard one, but God will get us all thru it.
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JaspersMom
Captain Bob, thank you so much for your kind words and your reply to my post, and what you wrote is so very true, and you really do get it. You do have to be a caring pet owner in order to understand the depth of love we here on this forum have for our pets, and the depth of loss and deep sadness we feel when we have to say goodbye. As you wrote, there are people who have pets that they do not consider members of the family, their pets are just there, how sad for both of them, but especially for the little one who so deserves to feel that special bond and unconditional love, which their little ones so abundantly give out with nothing expected in return.

Several weeks after I had lost my Jasper, I found myself looking for cats who looked like him. I was almost mesmerized by any cat who even remotely resembled him. I am really glad that I did not adopt another cat at that point in my life, because I was not trying to open my heart to love another kitty, I was trying to find my Jasper, I just wanted him back so badly, and  I actually thought that finding a living, breathing cat who looked like my boy, might just help to heal my broken heart, but it would not have been my Jasper, it could never be him, and it would have been so unfair to not only the little one, but to me as well.

I have thought about adopting another kitty again, and really opening my heart to another little one who really needs me, and if I ever do, I know that it would make my Jasper so very proud. He was and is such a loving little cat, nothing would make him happier than if I honored his memory and the legacy of love he left behind than by one day doing this, but I am still not quite ready.

I do have a wonderful and very special boy who I love with all my heart and soul, and his name is Jingles. I do not think I could have made it through all of this without him. He missed his best friend so much, and we just held onto each other through all of those cold, dark days and nights. He is fifteen years old, and I do worry that another cat may cause him stress, and his health and well being is my top priority, nothing else is more important to me than making him feel safe, secure, and loved, but who knows what will happen in the future. Whatever is meant to be will always find a way, and though I am noit actively looking, if another cat is meant to come into our life, I will embrace it, for Jasper, and for all of the sweetness and love he brought into my life and my world. Thank you again so very much for your kind and thoughtful words, it really means so much to know we are not alone in this, and that others truly do understand.
Pamela Lynne Crawford
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Mysweetsnuggles

JaspersMom,

Thank you for your posts, your words are so genuine and heart felt.  I just lost my Snuggles this past Saturday and he was 9.  The thoughts and emotions you describe are exactly what I am thinking and feeling.  This paragraph stands out the most to me, as if I said it myself (and I have said something very similar):

"I feel so cheated out of so much time we should have had together, but the time we did have was so full of happiness, love, and life, he was so full of life, and he made mine so very beautiful and so very special, and I would not trade one single moment of loving him to avoid the sadness and pain of losing hims as I face the world without my precious little one."

My nickname for Snuggles was "Little One".  I am having it put on his memorial.  I also, was thinking about adopting another little dog, but I found it was because I was missing that happiness and joy that Snuggles gave me.  It is not right to give a dog or cat a job to do, and not accept them for their own unique qualities.  I too, have another animal at home, and he misses Snuggles so much.  We have never bonded like Snuggles and I have, but to my surprise, we are spending a lot more time together and he is being way more snuggly with me.  I have put getting another dog on hold until I have worked through my grief, however long that takes.

I also didn't know how I was going to face the day without Snuggles as no matter how crappy the world was, I always come home to such a dear, sweet unconditional love and someone who needed me.  That is what I miss so very much.

Thanks for listening (reading) :)

Ellie
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JanV
To Jasper's mom and everyone in this thread, it is heartwarming to read the depth of love you have for your loving companions. When I read all of your comments I no longer feel so alone in my grief. My grief is very personal, as was my relationship to Mati so I don't really expect anyone to understand the loss I'm feeling. By visiting this forum and knowing that I'm not alone helps me more than words can say. Thank you all so much for sharing.

Jan
Mati's Mama Forever
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heartsick

I am so very sorry for the loss of your sweet boy.

The beginning raw searing pain of new grief is just awful.

They take a piece of us when they go,

But they leave a piece of them with us also.

Grief is awful and there is nothing else like this pain.

I am divorced - when I was married I buried my son- at that time I became a Certified Grief Counselor- I used the same graveside service for my Bear as I did for my son.

Please know that when we lose someone we love we don't stop loving them -

LOVE NEVER DIES.

The soul bound connection that is between our babies and ourselves is forever.

Nothing - not death- tears -grief - or sadness will ever break the ties between us for those ties are made of LOVE so strong that NOTHING will ever sever those connections.

LOVE NEVER DIES.

When we grieve for those we love it is because we do not quite know how to live without them. We breathe because we have no choice but the living part takes a huge amount of learning and time.

Grief is not something we get over but something that we learn -slowly- over time- to incorporate into our lives until it becomes a part of us like our bones and our breath.

Please know that we all understand here and we are all here for you.

Please come back and tell us more about your life with your beautiful baby so we can get to know him better through you.

We are all in this together and all walking the same roller coaster path of grief together -

some a bit ahead of you, some by your side, and some will come behind for you to help along.

If you read the beginning of any one of our threads you will see yourself. I, literally, walked in circles wringing my hands. My chest constantly hurt as I was unknowingly holding my breath.

You are also extremely intuitively smart about this when you decided not to get another little one who looked just like yours did.  No life can ever be replaced. I looked at little ones that looked just like my baby Bear but I knew I would not be ready for another baby until it just happened. Our lost babies somehow bring us the babies we are meant to love.

You Are In My Thoughts.                                      

Susan(heartsick)

 

In one of the stars, I shall be living.

In one of them, I shall be laughing.

And so it will be as if all the stars were laughing when you look at the sky at night.

~ The Little Prince, Antoine de Saint-Exupery

 

 

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