My heart is breaking for you. I had to euthanize my 12.5 year old cockapoo (who was my baby) after fighting CHF for one year and he was still doing well so I actually hoped he would die in his sleep or some peaceful way.
I feel so guilty since he stressed over getting his nails done and I had an operation on my arm. In the end someone came yo the door and he was excited ran too long nails slipped a disc and could not stand up. He would stress then cough
I fe like I let him down and didn’t take care of him so robbed him of his peaceful ending. Our vet came to our house on our back deck sofa and we held him as he injected something that was supposed to relax him but he started breathing really hard like he was fighting it. At the same time he turned around with the saddest look in his eyes as of to say “are you killing me Mom?” Then the vet came back in as he was giving us a moment and said “sometimes they fight it” the. He put another injection in his spine and then the IV i his leg and it was 30 seconds. I know there was an instant where he may have suffered but it was brief.
my father suffered so much more in the end with his cancer.
i got Sandy when my dad was dying so poured all of that love into my dog. I worked at home so we were almost never apart.
Feems like part of my body Is missing.
so I cam relate
hugs and prayers for you