lucy2423

Yesterday I lost my kitty, Tiger. He was nine - going to be 10 on September 11. About a month ago he started having some health issues so I took him to see the vet. I thought it was constipation problems. Turned out his abdomen was full of fluid. I never did get a definite answer as to what it was - either FIP or cancer - but he went downhill quite quickly. They drained the fluid a few times but it just kept coming back. He stopped eating, drinking, playing, etc. Just hid under the bed most of the time. Towards the end he was getting so tired that he wouldn't hide but would lay on some blankets I had put on the floor for him.

Tuesday night he started having some sneezing attacks that left him struggling to breathe properly for a few seconds after. Mucus was constantly running out of his nose. His hind legs were getting very weak. I knew it was time.

I took him to the vet yesterday to have him put to sleep and I've been an absolute wreck ever since. I wasn't ready to say goodbye to him. He could have easily lived for twice as long as he did. He was healthy otherwise. 

He was my best friend, my constant companion, my soulmate, my everything, my happy place. I am so lost without him. My love has nowhere to go. 

Every room in my house reminds me of him and the constant reminders are so bittersweet.

I hate that he had to leave this world the way he did. He was the most loving cat and he didn't deserve to have this happen to him.

My heart is shattered. I feel so empty, alone, lost.... I'm in shock that he's gone. 

I am glad I was able to free him from his pain and tiredness but it hurts so much that he's gone. I want my snuggle buddy back. I want to feel his fur again, hear his purr.  Tiger.jpg 

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ksfrick
Lucy2423 - Your Tiger is beautiful.  I am so sorry you have lost your special boy.  I am having a hard time but having a year to say goodbye was a gift.  My Bubba lived so much longer than anyone thought (Boxers live 8-10 years and the vet had him at 7 years due to his heart condition).  You didn't have this gift.  Having your Tiger taken too soon I am sure adds another layer of suffering.  

The reminders are tough and they seem to hit out of the blue.  Ironically one of the first big meltdowns I had was when I saw all his pill bottles in the cabinet.  Recently it was dealing with sadness and not having him to go to.  I am sure it will never go away but I know the sharpness of the pain will lessen.  

I am glad you posted here.  Keep posting - although we all have different circumstances, we all understand the pain of losing these special family members.

Hugs and prayers,
Bubba's Mom
Bubba's Mom
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Purzel
Lucy,

I am very sorry for the loss of your sweet Tiger, such a beautiful boy he was. You see, it is always too early because we do not want to lose our beloved ones at all. My Max lived to be quite old but do not think I was expecting him to go - I was not ready for that at all! I also hated to see him going downhills rather quickly and felt absolutely helpless not being able to find out why. Just like you I never received a definite answer but I also did not want to put my Max through all kinds of searching for whatever with constant visits at the vets. I think you did very right by Tiger to have him go in peace acting in a very selfless act of love towards him. I know your pain is overwhelming as everything is just so raw right now. Allow yourself to grieve him and give yourself the time you need - we all understand very well what you are going through right now. Come here whenever you wish and write whatever you wish to write - we are all here for you to dry your tears. You are certainly not alone in this.

My heart goes out to you
Silvia (with Max forever in my heart)

[hundi]


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EevaTeddy
my deepest sympathy to you. I can relate so much. My Teddy got sick suddenly and passed away quickly after. They didn't know for sure what he had but suspected cancer. I had to put him to sleep before we could start treatment. You can read about him in my topics I started.

My heart hurts for you because I know how hard it is immediately after. Being at home will feel so weird for some time. I tried to save everything of Teddy's. Little bits of fur and his toys. I still after 2 months have his bed and bowl out. I am not ready to move those.

Posting on here really helped me. I hope you continue to do so. Even using this as a journal. 

I am so incredibly sorry for your loss of your sweet boy. 

i see you in my dream my sweet little boy
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Rookiesmama
Lucy,
I am so sorry for your loss. I also had to make the decision for my boy Rookie, and it was way too soon. He had just turned 9. Please be gentle with yourself and give yourself time to grieve. It is a long, slow process. Hugs!!
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Rosanne777
Dear Lucy 

Lucy you will always miss
Tiger. Yet,as time goes on
you will still miss him but
the pain of losing him will
be less and less.

I know the above for a fact
because I still miss my Beloved
Cat Maya but the pain of losing
her is alot less.

Still we do question why our
beloved Pets must suffer and
then we have to sadly give
them up.
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Indiana_Andrea
Your Tiger is absolutely beautiful, Lucy.  I'm so sorry he was sick.  It's so hard to "do the right thing" because we don't want our furry family members to ever leave us.  But kindness and compassion ruled the day, for Tiger, as it did for my 16yo kitty, Mistletoe, 17 days ago.  Oh how I didn't want to let him go!  But I did the same thing you did and let my compassion rule.  As my tag line says.... they never live long enough.  If Tiger had been 25 years old, it would have been just as hard to end his suffering.  It's just a hard hard day!!

xoxo
They never live long enough....
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lucy2423

Thank you, everyone, for the kind replies during this difficult time.

I managed to go back to work today and I was fine until I realized this will be the first time I come home from work and he won't be there. I've been struggling to keep it together ever since.

I too am having issues with putting his things away. I had moved a litter box into the room he was always hiding in so that he didn't have to go down to the basement - as he was getting weaker and I was scared for him to be using the stairs. I can't get myself to clean it. I still have the syringes on the counter from when I was trying to feed him. I can't even get myself to touch them. Open cans of cat food in the fridge, I can't do anything with them yet either. 

I've forced myself to do the things I have to do - like take a shower, knowing he won't be there waiting for me when I get out. So I'm making a little bit of progress of healing but with other things, I'm stuck. But I'm letting myself be like that because I know I'm not completely stuck with everything. I just need to be patient, give myself time, be gentle with this process. I've never experienced anything like this before.

It was so weird yesterday...I was already okay with the idea that he wasn't in the house anymore. I was very easily able to accept it and I'm not sure why. Maybe because he'd been sick for a month and had hid for most of the time and just wasn't around the house much anyway so this hasn't been much of an adjustment? But then, at totally random times, I will walk into a room and have some memory pop in my head of where he might have been sitting and I almost feel anticipation of hoping he'll be there...just to have my heart drop when he's not there. Then I almost just want to run out of the room. 

But one thing I'm struggling with is trying to wrap my head around the fact that he's gone. I was there with him when he passed but for some reason I just can't get my brain to accept it. Like it can't be real, it doesn't make sense. He was so healthy, full of life, happy, etc and then out of nowhere, like someone snapped their fingers, he started going downhill quickly. I just never EVER imagined this would happen to him. My other cat, Cami, she's 14 and has had health issues - crystals in her urine & hyperthyroidism. I honestly thought she would be the one to go first because of her complications and just because she's older. So this is strange to me. It takes me back to when I first got her and it was just the two of us in the house. There's part of me that's happy for her that this happened because she never liked Tiger. He was always pouncing on her and she became very nervous. Now I'm slowly starting to see her personality come back out. I guess I'm trying to find any positive I can with this truly horrible situation.

But what I wouldn't give to have him back, healthy, just to hold him one more time. To stroke his fur one more time. To hear him purr one more time.

I feel so very broken right now.

17499485_10155221981202235_1453663042134310310_n (1).jpg 

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tracfone
I lost my Shine Thurs. He was a gray tabby. He had a blood clot. He woke us up in great pain and within a half hour we had him put to sleep. I could not bear to see him in pain. But I miss him so much. I feel like I lost my best friend. I'm lost without him. You are not alone in what you are going through.
jk
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