Hello, I was pointed here by a friend after I lost my precious Mani yesterday.  He was the greatest thing that ever happened to me.  He was my best friend, my familiar, my precious.  There were times when I irrationally thought Mani was an angel, or the reincarnation of a great person.  He seemed to understand me in a way no one ever has; he was so much more than just a cat.  He was so full of love and light and it isn't fair that he had to go so early in such a horrible way.

I only had him for 2 years after getting him at a shelter; he was only 3 or 4 years old but started getting sick over a month ago.  He quit eating and the vet said it was a problem with his liver.  The vet said he could try a treatment that might work, or we could travel 2 hours to the closest animal hospital to have him actually diagnosed.  I chose to keep him locally and try treatment, even though we really didn't know what the problem was.  I was so sure that he would get better and was in total denial of how sick he actually was.  He even did get better a week or so before he got worse, which really made it all even harder.  I can't help thinking that if I'd just taken him to the city that he'd still be alive...

I feel the same feelings many of you have expressed--crushing sadness, emptiness, pain, despair, and anger--and reading other posts in this forum has been really helpful.

I don't believe in heaven or God and I almost wish I did so that I could feel more comfort in his passing, but I know that he is just gone.

I don't know what else to say.  I could go on about the things we use to do together, snuggling in the morning, rubbing noses, cuddling on the couch, playing with strings and dangly things.  I could go on about how special he was, how my life will never be the same; but we all feel that way, so you understand...

Thank you for listening.
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PM............   ....Do you believe in signs(?)  You can always look out for signs.  I'm guessing your "Wicken"(?)  It doesn't matter really, because a broken heart is a broken heart. The idea of Mani's soul/essence continuing to walk along side of you is a nice thought.  Sometimes it's just nice to have something to believe to make ourselves feel better (no matter how silly it may seem to other's).  What other people think doesn't matter.  If you want, share your stories of Mani you have a lot of listeners here..........danzey 
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I just lost my beautiful dog whom I loved so dearly. My best friend. I am heartbroken. He was a saint. Everyone knew it. He had the caring, concern and acceptance of someone who sees only the best, who never judges, who always has time but who doesn't ask for what you cannot give.
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I didn't believe in anything like that either... But when my Mr Bill passed away 6 weeks ago his companion of 18 and a half years began picking up his behaviours...she's a year older. I often get the feeling that I'm being watched not the spooky or gross way but in the I feel comforted way right from the spot that he used to sit I don't know if I believe but I know this Mr Bill loved me and your pet loved you ...your grief will abate, but you will miss them the rest your life and that's a good thing because it means you're a good human being
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I believe more then I ever did before.  Perhaps a hard heart from a difficult life made me feel as if there is nothing more. I don't know why. Perhaps the humans in my family who passed before gave me little connection so I did not know that there was anything more to think of. I wanted the spiritual but could not connect.  Then I lost Robert.  All of a sudden I felt that I had my angel to watch over me and those here that I love.  Where I go with this journey is a work in process.  But I know I am going.  Good thoughts to you and may your heart heal.
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