My little boy - Tucker crosses the rainbow bridge on Monday and it has been so hard.  He was 11 and I thought I would have him longer.  He was diagnosed with lymphoma 2 weeks ago.  I feel so bad because I noticed the lumps in his neck and I waited a week to take him to the vet.  The day the vet called me with the diagnosis he started running a 105 fever.  We elected to treat him with prednisone.  I thought I would get a month with him.  The vet thought there was a good chance the cancer had spread to his bones and he was never good with being manhandled by the vet.  He would have to be muzzled.  The prednisone never really helped.  The cancer continued to grow.  He had trouble eating and his stomach got so big.  I was cooking for him everyday.  I had to let him go.  I feel so guilty I didn’t take him to the vet sooner and I wonder if I should have pursued a different treatment. Although I know chemo would not have been a cure so I had trouble justifying it.  When we had him put down, for the first time in his life, he didn’t fight the vet when they put the IV in he looked confused.  I just can’t get that image out of my head and I feel so terrible.  I feel like I let my baby down and I just miss him so much.
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I totally how you feel. Lymphoma is a horrible diagnosis that our babies don't deserve. When you get the news, your life changes forever and the wind is knocked out of you. My baby was diagnosed with lymphoma when she was 9 years old. God healed her and she was cancer free for 5 years. I lost her on Saturday to congestive heart failure. I think that you did the right thing by not moving forward with chemotherapy because it's really hard seeing your baby go through that and no one tells you about the side effects and risks. Please don't blame yourself because you did the best that you could. Our babies can't talk and tell us that they aren't feeling well and some lumps are benign. There's no way that you could have known. My baby had cancer for at least 6 months before it was diagnosed. I didn't know. You're in my thoughts and prayers. I know exactly how you feel.
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