codysmum102
My baby boy, Cody, left this world Saturday, January 11th after 13 1/2 years on this earth and 11 1/2 with me.  He was rescue dog from the animal shelter, severely underweight and matted when he was found.  I originally went to the shelter to get a different dog but ended up finding out the dog had been adopted already.  That was when they went into a back area and pulled out Cody.  He was scared and shaking but when I picked him up he laid his little head on my shoulder and immediately I knew we were meant to be together.  My mother had just passed away and I needed something to help me get through my grief and he needed someone to love him and restore his faith in humanity. And so it began. 

As time went on he blossomed and so did I.  He was smart, loving and all he wanted was to be with his people which worked out fine for me.  I thank God that I was able to retire 3 years ago and got to spend 3 quality years with my boy before his passing.  In August of last year he had a seizure, was put on medication and seemed to be doing fine until early November when he had one after another. He was put on more medication but didn't seem to be rebounding.  We thought it was due to the drugs but because he wasn't eating or drinking, very lethargic and he was so out of it we had to force feed him his medication the vet told us she thought something else might be going on. 

We took him for an MRI and received the horrific news that he had a large brain tumor in his frontal lobe.  We were given the option of euthanizing him that day, trying to give him Prednisone medication to help stop the inflammation that was putting pressure on his brain, brain surgery, chemo and or radiation.  I couldn't just put him down that day. I knew I needed to at least try to get some more time with him but I didn't want him to suffer or put him through a bunch of invasive treatments that the vet told me may or may not help and could possibly make the situation worse.  He had other health issues that we were aware of that were being monitored but I knew they were ticking time bombs as well. 

So we decided to try the Prednisone and to our joy he began eating, drinking and acting way more like his old self.  The vet had warned us that the tumor would still grow and eventually the Prednisone would stop working but at least we had some time to love on him 24/7 and try to get our fill (although I have learned that is impossible).  We still had to give him the seizure medication (1 pill every 8 hours, 2 pills every 12 hours) but he took them like a champ in his pill pockets. Then this last Tuesday, January 7th, the seizures came back with a vengeance.  He was at the ER from Tuesday to Thursday evening when they finally got him under control.  Now he was on more medication and although he seemed to rally Thursday evening by Friday evening he was back to not eating, drinking or taking his medications.  Before we left the ER Thursday the vet warned us that he was on the maximum amount of medication and if he started to go downhill there would be nothing more to do.  So we decided Friday evening that Saturday would be the day. 

It was the most gut wrenching thing to have to do even though it was peaceful for him and my husband and I were there petting and talking to him until the end.  I am still crying on and off.  We got his ashes back today which began another round of tears and wailing.  I miss him so much.  His soft fur was like therapy to pet, his sweet smile, the way he followed me around the house, his excitement at treat time, his happy dance when we'd come home from being out somewhere and lying next to him on the bed at night.  I know we made the right decision to let him go but my heart is so broken.  He gave so much love and support when I needed it most and I pray that I did as much for him.  He is my love, my baby boy, he was always my little white shadow and now he's gone.  I ache for him.  I will never ever forget you my love.  I pray that someday when it's my turn to go that we can be together in a place where there are no tumors or illness or anything that will keep us apart again.   


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Julie 💔
"Grief only exists where love lived first."
--Franchesca Cox
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Lily123
Aww, Cody is beautiful. I am so sorry for your loss. I saw your comment on one of my posts and went to read your story. I can tell you and Cody had a special relationship. 

It's hard. It has almost been a month since Lily passed and it doesn't seem to get easier yet, but I know it will.

You did the best for him. You rescued him and gave him a life of love. 
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phalaris14
  I am so sorry for your loss. It has been a little over four years for me. So, I have been where you are now. It is not fun... in fact, it is one of the worst experiences ever.Mourn as you see fit. Everyone experiences grief uniquely.Come here often. The people are great !!!! They helped me immensely. May God be with you.
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codysmum102
Lily123 wrote:
Aww, Cody is beautiful. I am so sorry for your loss. I saw your comment on one of my posts and went to read your story. I can tell you and Cody had a special relationship. 

It's hard. It has almost been a month since Lily passed and it doesn't seem to get easier yet, but I know it will.

You did the best for him. You rescued him and gave him a life of love. 


Thank you so much for responding.  He was my love.  It is hard to believe that this hole in my heart and soul will ever go away.  I imagine it will always be there but maybe not as big.  Right now everywhere I go, everything I do reminds me of him.  I had to go to the store today and seeing the roasted chickens made me almost cry.  I used to get them and feed him some especially at the end and he really liked them.  It really hurts. I feel so sorry for all of us but I guess that is the price for loving them so much.
Julie 💔
"Grief only exists where love lived first."
--Franchesca Cox
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codysmum102
phalaris14 wrote:
  I am so sorry for your loss. It has been a little over four years for me. So, I have been where you are now. It is not fun... in fact, it is one of the worst experiences ever.Mourn as you see fit. Everyone experiences grief uniquely.Come here often. The people are great !!!! They helped me immensely. May God be with you.


God bless all of us who mourn our special, irreplaceable fur babies.  Thank you for your kind words and taking the time to reply.  It is so very very hard.  I don't think I cried this much when my parents passed. :-( My baby Cody was my life and my heart.  
Julie 💔
"Grief only exists where love lived first."
--Franchesca Cox
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