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CoopersMommy

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Reply with quote  #1 
I thought I'd moved past the guilt. But I'm sitting here tonight and can't help but think that it was my choice to take him to the vet. Cooper was only five. He was so happy and healthy. He truly loved every minute of life. He had so much fun all the time. I just feel so bad that it was taken from him. He should've had so many more years. I think that wherever he is, he's not thinking "wow, I'm missing out on the rest of my life". I know that. But I can't help but think that for him. I know I would be heart broken just the same if he had lived to be 15 but I feel like there's this added sadness here because he was so young and healthy. I can't help but feel like part of it is my fault. I know I should be grateful for the time I had with him. It was the most amazing five years. And many people have less. But I'm so sad for him. I pray he doesn't know he's gone. 
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Mia870

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Reply with quote  #2 

I am so sorry you are having a rough day. Cooper loved you unconditionally and you were so lucky to have him in your life. Don't feel guilty, you did the right thing as a loving and caring parent. Grief is like a river, it ebbs and flows and some days just really suck. Be kind to yourself and try and remember all the happy times. I am thinking of you xx


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Mia Jessie aged: 11 years. Always our puppy girl xxxxxx
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reovi

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Reply with quote  #3 
Guilt is a big old you-know-what.  I too have really bad days, where I feel like the guilt will eat me alive or drown me.  When Polar got hurt, he was a very active, healthy boy-no health problems ever.  It crushed me 6 months later to have to put him to sleep and it keeps me up at night thinking about what he was.  But I know in my heart that he is better now than what he was at his best, and that he is only enjoying every minute of his new existence. I think wherever Cooper is he is only sorry that his loss is causing you pain.  Soon your guilt will be pushed out by happy memories and happy tears, and until then I wish you peace and sweet dreams.
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donnalee

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Reply with quote  #4 
I'm so sorry it (guilt) is showing up again and giving you a rough day.   I totally understand how a situation like yours would be hard to accept.  To me, these stories of healthy furbabies that passed in such an unexpected, untimely manner due to mistakes must be so very difficult to deal with.   You just could not have predicted something like this would happen.  All any of us can do is to keep trying to deal with the guilt so we can eventually move past it for good because none of us would have ever intentionally let anyone hurt our baby.   It is such a draining emotion yet it is like a major theme running through most of our threads.  I truly believe our precious angels don't blame us or hold anything against us....we might be angry at ourselves (or our vets) but our babies are not angry with us.  If we really think it through, we gave them so much love.  Even though their life was shorter than expected, they had better lives than a lot of humans on the planet and that is really the truth. I'm sure your baby was loved, spoiled, and doted on just like mine was!  I think that is what they remember about us.....their happy life and the love we shared. 
I know it is all easier said than done.  Our thoughts & emotions can really run away from us and take over.  As Mia said, be kind to yourself.  You were a great Mom to Cooper.  Scottie was only 5 years too.  I know we both wanted to have them much longer than that.  But, goodness, what a great 5 years we had! 
I hope you have some much-deserved peace for a while.  You did your best for Cooper and that is all any of us can do.   
  
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Rugersmom

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Reply with quote  #5 

You made the best decision you could make at that moment in time.  Now that time has passed since that moment, and all the circumstances surrounding that moment are gone, it's easy to beat yourself up and second guess yourself.  Think back to that moment....you were thinking only of what was in the best interest of your beloved Cooper.  It was totally an unselfish act.  It was true love.  Take care.  Cooper knows your unselfish true love and he is wagging his tail in heaven.

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DebbieD

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Reply with quote  #6 
Oh, this awful guilt. As if it's not enough to be so lost without our precious furbabies, most of us here beat ourselves up over some type of guilt as well. Why do we do this? It doesn't change anything, it doesn't bring them back, and yet this thread seems to be a constant. And it is with me as well - having trouble shaking it.

The most bizarre thing about this is that I have written to several, expressing many sentiments of why they shouldn't feel guilty (and mean every single word), and yet I can't take my own advice. It just always comes back to that. I've said I want to go back and read more closely the posting on Breaking the Power of Guilt - maybe when I'm having a better day and can maybe really listen to what it is saying. Certainly not on a Sunday - tonight is 7 weeks that I last saw Misty struggling at the vet as we were trying to reach a diagnosis and then going back to see her on that gurney after she passed. I am going to try and go back and re-look at some pictures - need to try and put images of her healthy and happy in my mind, not those last images. They just seem so burned in my memory now. 

To everyone struggling here - I can tell from all your posts how dearly loved your furbabies are and how much they meant to you.
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donnalee

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Reply with quote  #7 
Yes, DebbieD,  I do the same thing....I write others and tell them that they have nothing to feel guilty about and to try to let it go....and I really believe what I'm saying.  All the while, I have my own guilty feelings about a multitude of things! (Not Scottie anymore, but other things such as feeling like I don't go see Grandma enough, etc.) 
RugersMom has a good attitude about it!   
I guess it is a matter of forgiving ourselves.  I'm certainly working on it big-time in my life.   I don't want to stay stuck in it.     Best wishes to you & everyone here working on it. 
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otto12

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Reply with quote  #8 

I know how it feels like to wonder what if? And when it feels like guilt is eating you up. We lost our beloved cat 6 weeks ago when he got run over and I thought my heart would break. The pain is like nothing I have experienced before sometimes it feels like you dont have the strenght to go on and that all the beautiful fun things in life is less beautiful and fun now because you have lost your beloved friend. I wish I could turn back time to the day we lost our cat and keep him close to me all day so he would still be with us but unfortunally I cant do that. But I know that our pets wouldnt want us to be sad or to feel guilty they are in a better place now. Its easy to say these things to someone else but its hard for me to take it in and "practice what i preach".

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Polly

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Reply with quote  #9 
I think there will always be a degree of that awful guilt hanging around. It's now been almost 9 months since my precious Casper had to be put to sleep, and I still have moments where I can feel my heart heavy with guilt. Casper wasn't even 2 but was desperately ill, so I knew I was doing the right and best thing for him, but it was still so very very hard. It still is.

Thinking of you all.   
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