fennyann
I have been MIA from the board for awhile and I'm so glad that I can come back to such welcoming people...

We lost our Mollie in May and the pain this week has been unbearable...The holidays were so different without her here. Her birthday was right before Christmas and all I could do most of the day was stare at the place we buried her. 

I still relive her death in my head on a daily basis..She did not deserve to pass the way she did...I only had 3 short years with her and I wish our son could have grown up with her. She was taken by a car...the horrific pictures that still haunt me on a daily basis I feel will never go away..

I feel so different since she has passed...a part of me is gone. She was my first "baby". I would do anything to just snuggle her one last time.

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Traveler519
I am so sorry for the loss of your precious baby Mollie. I lost my 10 year old cat, Nemo, on Dec. 20th to a car.  I only let him out for an hour a day and I never imagined..  I know your heartache and pain and I am certain that we both came to the right place to get support. 

Wishing you much comfort and peace. 
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PeteyLover
My condolences to you both. Fennyann, I lost my boy in May also, he was 16. You'd think after this long it would be easier, but most days its not. I still miss him terribly and will agree, that part of me died with him.
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Catladykaren
I'm so sorry you lost your baby that way. Certainly anyone who witnesses a tragedy suffers some form PTSD. When I lost my first cat, a cat I passed into adulthood with, I was devastated. He had been getting thin, vomiting, and had loose stool. Surgery revealed tumors everywhere, but it was inoperable. I could say goodbye if I wanted, I told them they could euthanize him while he was still under. I didn't want him to have to wake up from surgery frightened disoriented just for my benefit. Guilt consumed me. I let me baby boy die cut open on a cold operating table away from home all alone. I had nightmares for a year. I dreamed he crawled out of the cooler made his way home, guts and blood hanging from the gaping wound, angry with me for leaving him at the vet office to die. I had variations of this terrible nightmare, I hated myself. The vet office was on the main road in town. I had to drive by the place where he died alone, every single day. Tried to close my eyes, look the other way, pretend it wasn't there, push back the last time I saw my Pepper.
Then a year or so after his passing, I had the dream again. Except he was whole, and I was so happy to see him. Wondered where he had been all this time, how was he able to come back to me? I awoke crying knowing it had been a dream. But I feel like it was his way of telling me I didn't need to worry anymore, he was okay, I could be at peace. I sometimes wonder if I had not held on to the guilt so long, if those nightmares would have been dreams instead. Maybe he had been trying to reach me all that time and I all I could see was the horror of my guilt.
Let the guilt and horror go my friend. You only showed her love.
Love is eternal....
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Tail11
I'm sorry for your loss. It has been a month since my Whisper had been killed by the pit bull next door. I have the picture of her body laying in the yard after he finally dragged her out for me to see. I miss her everyday, several times a day. I too find myself guilty because there was a break in the fence that caused her death. I beat myself up over it and I'm trying not to. We had some wind last week and the wind caused two boards to come loose again. I told myself that it was just a matter of time that this was going to happen.

I finally got the homeowner next door to split the cost of the fence. My dog had to pay the ultimate price to finally get it done. I wished I had just replaced the fence back when I had the money to do it and just eat the cost. I struggle with that decision each day.

I hope we all can find peace. Sending you warm thoughts.
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