nalasmom
Today my husband picked up our dog Nala for the last time.  We had been waiting for the call to pick up her remains since we said good-bye to her on February 19.  I wanted her home, I anticipated the call every day since the day we put her down.  With all the help of reading your thoughts and responding to some, I thought I had managed through my own. I thought I had come to accept her passing over the last 2 weeks.   But when my husband walked through the door with Nala in a beautifully appointed box, it ripped open my heart and I feel as bad as the day we had to put her down. 

For those of you who have not seen some of my posts, Nala was our 15 1/2 year old Rottweiler mix.  We picked her up at 8 weeks old and she has been the soul of our family since.  She was diagnosed with Cushings 3 years ago and we were told she had a tumor in her liver and lungs and had 3 - 6 months to live.  We were devastated then, but decided it would not be fair to put her through surgery and a difficult recovery if she was so far gone.  We had been through a few major medical procedure with Nala including 2 TPLO's, pancreatitis, gland removals and each one proved to be a more difficult recovery for her. 

Unbelievably Nala's decline was very slow. It wasn't until last Sept/Oct that we noticed a marked difference her behvior-eating less, losing bowel control occassionally, difficulty walking etc.  Her decline continued through the last 4 months and she lost a significant amount of weight.  During the last week of her life she really struggled to walk and couldn't hold her food down.  Even then we held hope. 

I took her to the vet to get her teeth checked because we thought her gums looks a little odd and could mean she had pain in her mouth.  When the vet examined her she said it was time.  I wasn't ready.  I called my husband to meet me at the vet because we had an agreement that we would keep her alive until we could all be together.  He joined me and we held her head as the life left her.  Intellectually I know it was the right thing to do for her.  Emotionally it has all come back.   I can't get that sight out of my head and that my decision to take her to the vet, to sign the papers, ultimately led to her end.  The picture posted here is of Nala the week before she passed away and the way she was sitting when she was euthanized.   I can't stop crying again. 

Thank you for letting me share.


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Susie_Squillions
Oh, Nala's Mom ~

My heart goes out to you. I remember the flood of emotion when we brought our little Buddy home almost 6 years ago.  I hope and pray that you will soon find comfort in knowing that Nala will never leave home again.  She's with you always, even if it is in a different form. 

We are just facing the final days, maybe hours, with our 16 & 1/2 year-old Bengal Cat, T.J. (my avatar).  It has been an excruciating few weeks, for all of us.  He was such a strong, healthy cat all of his life until a few weeks ago when he began having seizures and was diagnosed with CRF (early stage kidney failure) which was not related to the seizures.  With each seizure he has gotten progressively more wobbly and unsteady.  We now have him on anti-seizure and pain meds to last until my niece can come to our house to assist him on his final journey.  I realized tonight that the sooner she can come, the better.  Although his spirit is strong, this terrible cancer has won the battle. It's just too strong to fight.

This will be the first time I have had to make the decision to help one of my animals cross over.  It's an agonizing thing, and my heart goes out to anyone who has been in this position.  I've been posting here for almost six years, and I have always told people that they gave their furries the greatest possible gift by assisting them when they needed help. I thought I knew what I was talking about.  Until now.  Now I know first hand the agony you faced, and my heart truly breaks for you.

May your happy memories come flooding back to you, and may you catch a glimpse of your beautiful Nala at the Bridge, young, healthy, and vital once more.

xoxoxo

My heart is battered and bruised, but I will not let it break. It holds such precious cargo, I must protect it now. (Susie Squillions)

"Memories of loved ones are like songs in our soul." Margaret Wakeley

T.J.'S RESIDENCY:
http://RainbowsBridge.com/residents/TJ006/Resident.htm

BUDDY GUY AYRES~LYNCH'S RESIDENCY:
http://www.rainbowsbridge.com/residents/Buddy128/resident.HTM

KING BING THE GOD CAT'S RESIDENCY:
http://rainbowsbridge.com/residents/BINGO009/Resident.htm

In one of the stars, I shall be living.
In one of them, I shall be laughing.
And so it will be as if all the stars were laughing when you look at the sky at night.
~ The Little Prince, Antoine de Saint-Exupery
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nalasmom

Thank you Suse.  It helps to know that others understand this roller coaster ride.  I really didn't think it would hit me this hard again.  I thought I was through the darkest time.  I guess I was just in the eye of the storm for a while.

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