hectormoses
Almost 48 hours ago, I unexpectedly lost my best friend, Hector, my Doberman of over 12 years.  I received a frantic phone call from my husband, Rick, who said Hector had suddenly collapsed.  Rick held him as Hector passed, so my best guess is maybe a heart attack or some kind of internal rupture.  By the time I got home, 10 minutes later, I walked into my living room to find Rick crying next to Hector's still-warm body.  I fell to my knees and began to weep.

Hector's being cremated, and while I've lost pets before (I've had pets my whole life,) this loss has sucked the life right out of me.  I physically hurt.  While I'm grateful that his end was quick and that he didn't suffer, it doesn't feel like I'll ever know joy again, and laughter seems so impossible and so far away.  As I try to understand it, I believe that part of the profound devastation has to do with the fact that Hector was with me for so many journeys and life experiences.  From 5 weeks old until his passing, he was my Inspector Hector, the King Pup, the Big Guy, the Moby Dobie, etc.  He bought my house with me (until the past two days, I've never lived in my house w/out him,) he welcomed my American Pit Bull Terrier (who's also dealing with the loss,) friends got married and had children, he welcomed my husband 8 years ago, there were career decisions and changes, we lost and grieved relatives together, etc.  While his absence hasn't tarnished or altered any of these memories, they just keep swirling around my head, and it's like his ghost is walking through all of them.

I know, in time, this will ease, and I know I have to let myself cry and grieve.  It's only been 48 hours, but this hurts worse than I ever imagined something could hurt.  I knew, due to his size, that he was on borrowed time, but I anticipated a gradual decline, not a sudden collapse.  Again, I'm thankful he didn't have to endure some agonizing illness, but dang, it just hurts.
Amanda
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Beaglemomma
I am so very sorry for your loss.  I am 8 weeks today without my little Beagle Molly.  She went suddenly too, even though she was 14 she wasn't sick.  She had a stroke, which my be what took your baby away too even though I learned that strokes in dogs are rare, it still happens.  Is seems especially hard when there is no time to say our goodbyes, so I do understand what you are feeling.

Just know that you are lucky to have found this site full of wonderful, loving, caring people who all truly get what you are dealing with.  Sending you hugs.
janice
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hectormoses
Thank you so much, Janice, and I'm so sorry for your loss, too.  A friend referred me to this website, and it's been very comforting.  While it's heartbreaking to hear of other's losses, it's reminded me that I'm not alone in my grief.  For me, Hector & I were basically the founders of my household, and while I love Rick & Mo (my APBT) unconditionally, Hector & I were best friends and pioneers together.  We shared a special bond and welcomed them into our house.  It may have been a stroke that took Hex, but whatever it was, I'm glad it was quick.  Hugs to you, too!
Amanda
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Beaglemomma

Someone on this site made this statement, I am not that original, but it fits so well-------a "once in a lifetime" pet.  THAT certainly fits for most of us.  I have had pets all my life but NONE like my Molly.  She was my EVERYTHING and I am lost without my baby.

 

janice
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Titans_mother
It is very hard in the first few days as I am seeing as well.  It seems like no matter how long we have it is never enough time.  My baby helped me through my anxiety and depression and was also there just like your baby.  At least they did not suffer and I have hope that they are still here with us just wishing they could tell us they are in a better place and know how much we love them.
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Natasha 
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