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Chandlers_Dad

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Reply with quote  #346 
Your replies warmed my heart today. Bless you all so much. Silvia and Marie, extra hugs (wordless, of course!) to both of you.

My partner and I were discussing a pro-con list today of finally not having pets around.

Pro: The hair is gone. No scooping litter. Can have milk without being chased down. Can finally close my bedroom door at night. Can go away on vacation or even a long weekend without having to worry about the cats. Don't have to buy food they may or may not eat. No snags on clothes. No longer have to gag when I clean up slimy hairballs. Can go to the bathroom without company.

Con: Nothing above matters. Would do it a thousand times and more all over again if they could be here. And they're not "pets", they're our loved ones, our family. Always will be.

Best wishes this week, all. Love to you.

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Marie123

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Reply with quote  #347 
Awww same to you, Bruce! I've gone over that list in my head many times, and the love of having my crew far outweighs the not having them. I've got a new annoyance now that I've got the bunny and that's finding hay everywhere. Hay in my coffee, hay in the washing machine, hay in the fridge (??), hay in places you do NOT want hay....but I don't care. I'll take the hay everywhere and Curtis eating a healthy diet any day. And he KNOWS he can get away with dragging it everywhere and making a mess because I won't yell at him for eating something that vital to his health. He's such a brat! Each animal brings something new to the table (or in the case of a cat, knocks something off the table) and each one is missed for their own unique personality. And we'd never change a thing. That's what we need to remember the most as we attempt to get through the days to come.
Have a great week, and all our hugs to you! 😸
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jerigraehl

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Reply with quote  #348 
I had those thoughts too until my soul mate was gone the house was empty and my heart was broken. I would take the mess any day over the loss and the pain. Jeri
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jerigraehl
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Chandlers_Dad

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Reply with quote  #349 
Thankfully, my cats never did the "knock this thing off the table" attitude. But they were not without their quirks!

Marie, laughing out loud over the hay! But you're like any oet parent... you tolerate it because of your love for your dear big-eared baby. He is so cute.

Jeri, we feel your heartbreak. I think just about everyone I have met has that same heartbreak resonating through them.

Good evening, my friends. Chat with you soon.

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Marie123

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Reply with quote  #350 
Bruce, you're lucky. My cats are like a gang of tiny, clumsy, jerk ninjas tripping me up and knocking stuff everywhere. Curtis (the bunny) is better behaved but he, too, has his quirks. But I wouldn't have it any other way. He can make as big a hay mess as he wants, and the hay in strange places is just a badge of honor as far as I'm concerned. Our little ones come first, and always will.
I hope all of you are having a good evening. Sending a smile your way 😺
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Memories_of_Marmalade

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Reply with quote  #351 


"Jerk Ninja's" Lol. That is a new one and quite funny.

My neighbors have adopted a litter of 9 and their Mother. 3 of the litter are all black like black panthers. They are getting so big. They come over to see me behind my office in our fenced in property and I give them a little extra dinner late in the evenings. The property is a walled and fenced off private boat storage yard. And the 3 black cat (sisters) run around me and dart in between salvage and the boats etc. just playing and trying to get my attention. Sometimes they scare the heck out of me as they suddenly pop out like..."JERK NINJA'S!"
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Chandlers_Dad

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Reply with quote  #352 
"Jerk Ninjas"... love it! Cats have the best personalities! These little Panthers have found a new friend, and they know it. Cats are so much smarter than most people think.

Marie, you are so right that our little ones come first, and always will.

Made a video today of India's pictures with her favorite song, "Lucky". She would stop whatever she was doing to listen to that song! Made me feel so good while I was doing it, seeing all those pictures of her sweet face along with listening to her favorite song! Ended the video with a picture of all 3 of them on me. Laughed and laughed, and then when I watched the video afterward, cried and cried until I thought my heart would shatter. The rollercoaster continues.

G'night, my friends.
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Marie123

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Reply with quote  #353 
Evening, Bruce! That's so cute India had her favorite song! Curtis likes the Norse Storm King lullaby I sing for him just about every night. He'll lower his head and "tooth purr" when I sing it. I often wish I had learned it before Raven had to leave, so I could have shared it with her. I made a video of her too and posted it on YouTube. Doubt very much anyone else cares but it just felt like something I had to do. I guess it's kinda my way of fighting back at all the videos of infants face planting into a bowl of Spaghetti O's lol. My way of telling others she matters and always will. Who knows? I think I'm coming unhinged but oh well. Our furballs will always have that effect on us, won't they? And we wouldn't have it any other way!
Hope you have a great evening! 🐇😺
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Chandlers_Dad

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Reply with quote  #354 
My friends, I am asking for help and cannot get it elsewhere. I don't know where to begin.

A little over two years ago, I lost my best buddy, Chandler. For months and months, I could not accept that he was gone. (Still can't.) You all helped me move on through, not over, his death. To this day I miss that boy more than I miss my parents and siblings.

Then, just 8 months later, his sister Phoebe left so suddenly. She had become the cat she previously wasn't. A scared, timid little thing realized she was direly needed and she rose to the occasion! She became such a loving, wonderful sweetheart and her departure was not only unexpected, but devastating.

And now their mother, India, is gone. I can't stop crying. Maybe it's the emptiness of the house, but when I come home from work and she isn't here to greet me at the door, it's difficult to accept after 16 years. How can I get this perpetual lump out of my throat? Even when I am okay, I am really not. She was at the start, and she was there at the end.

I guess I am feeling sorry for myself. All 3 babies in 2 years. I just hurt like hell. Anything that anyone could say will help.

Bless you and love you all.

Bruce
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Memories_of_Marmalade

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Reply with quote  #355 

Dear Bruce,

I am so, so sorry for what you are going through brother. I can't imagine losing 3 beloved's in such a short span of time. My heart is already broken for the loss of my Marmalade, but it is also breaking for your loss as well. As it is for all of the other members here and their individual losses. As if my heart could not be more shattered than it already is. Like you I miss my beloved cat more than any family member that has departed, which I find astonishing. 

Yesterday was the 10th week since I lost my boy. My best friend. My angel of light. My one true and trusted companion and like you are experiencing, I am still "crying", the place where I reside feels "empty"and there is also a "lump in my throat." Just today, when I returned from lunch (which was a daily routine for my lad and I that we looked forward to each day) I said to myself "I am not okay" just as you are saying to yourself.

None of us here are truly alone. We are all here together, as you well know. You are a vital and important member here Bruce. Your unique story, and that of your beloved Chandler, Phoebe & India resonates with each of us and we find the wonderful photos you have shared moving, touching & inspiring. We are all with you in spirit tonight. From all parts of the World. I will be saying a special prayer for you and for your beloved's tonight before I fall asleep. They say that "prayer works." I hope others will say a prayer for you and your dearly departed as well.

May God bless & keep you always my friend.

Kind regards,
James
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Chandlers_Dad

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Reply with quote  #356 
Dear James,

Thank you so much for your kindness and wisdom. I do realize your pain, and you are in my most sincere prayers. As I read your words about how deeply you miss your sweet boy, I felt humbled. I am not the only one going through this, and I sometimes lose sight of that. I apologize for being so self absorbed, especially when you are hurting so much for your Marmalade, as many others here are in pain over their babies, as well. It doesn't matter how many we have lost. One, two, three, six, eight, ten.... they all hurt terribly, each one. Hugs to you, my friend.

Thank you for being there, not just for me but for everyone else. You are dealing with your own loss, but yet you are there for others. Bless you.

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Purzel

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Reply with quote  #357 
Good Morning, dear friend Bruce,
 
The emptiness of the house...

I can remember how that felt and then and there I thought it would forever feel that empty. Time went and I realized that it was not the emptiness of the house but the emptiness in my heart and time went and I realized how blessed we humans are as all kinds of memories emerged, good ones, countless moments filled with joy. Time went and I felt blessed to look back at nearly 13 years of a really golden era. Time went and I felt rich.
 
It is time, Bruce, time that heals and wraps your heart and soul into a golden layer. You are three times as rich.
 
Many wordless hugs

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Silvia (with Max forever in my heart)

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Chandlers_Dad

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Reply with quote  #358 
My dear Silvia,

Thank you once again for your ultimate kindness. Your analogy about it not being the emptiness in our houses, but our hearts, says it so perfectly. Your richness of 13 years makes me stop and think. It's not what we lost, but what we were blessed to have. You are a true inspiration to all. In spite of your own pain, you can somehow put it all in perspective. As sad as I have been and as much as I hurt, I can still be overjoyed with the love they gave me, and what I will always be able to give them, for the rest of my life.

Many, many wordless hugs, my friend.

Bruce
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Marie123

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Reply with quote  #359 
Hey there, Bruce! I apologize for not writing sooner. The other night, my friend's diabetic cat Tabby had a really bad spell and I went over to be with them while they tried to figure out what to do. We thought we'd lost him! After awhile he snapped out of it some so we decided to leave him be. Now, one vet visit and some tweaking on his insulin, he's his fat happy self again! Anyway, I'm so sorry for not being there. Animals certainly can give you heart failure!
I know how you feel about the not being able to stop crying bit. I broke down in the grocery store the other day because of some weird random thought of Raven. Just out of nowhere. It's just an ongoing thing I believe. We don't "get over it," or become used to it. It's just something we learn to live with, even though at times it's like learning to live with an elephant in your house (big and in your way!) Your losses over the past 2 years are going to impact you heavily. It just means you've got a big heart. You gave those 3 the best of everything, and they returned that love. That's a big thing, and can't just be swept under the rug. So just take all the time you need. You've got all of us, and the ongoing love of your 3 beautiful kitties who are still such a big part of your life.
Many many prayers from Marie and the crew 🙏
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Chandlers_Dad

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Reply with quote  #360 
Marie, you never, ever have reason to apologize! You are the most thoughtful, caring, and loving soul! I am thankful your friend's cat is doing well after such a scary episode! You are always there for everyone, so please never think otherwise. Hugs to you, my friend. Bless you.

Tomorrow it will be 4 weeks since I lost India. 4 weeks already! Just doesn't seem possible. We are grieving all 3 of them -- can't believe they are all gone -- and we have our periodic breakdowns. Every shadow, movement, or light makes us think India is there, and when she isn't we realize once again they're all gone.

Wish I could adopt another one (or two, or three) but I don't think I am ready, and that would definitely not be fair to the baby (babies). Until I can love one despite it not being Chandler, Phoebe, or India, I will just continue to hurt, wish, and hope.

G'night, all
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