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Chandlers_Dad

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Reply with quote  #301 
My dearest, dearest friends,

I honestly don't know where to begin.

My dear Purzel, if I could reach through here and hug you tightly, I would. Your wordless hugs have meant so much to me, even as you were going through your own significant pain. You are a very dear, loving soul. You are a wonderful person and I wish you peace and happiness forever, my friend.

Dear Jackie, my heart breaks for you. I wish I could tell you it gets better soon. The truth is that it takes time. A lot of time. We love these babies and we can't and won't be rushed through our grief. Share, tell, scream, cry... it's all okay, my new friend. He was and is your boy. Embrace whatever you feel, and know that people understand! But please know that whatever you're going through, it's normal. Many, many of us have gone through it.

Dear Sma, thank you so much for being there. Your Ziggy was as much of a part of you as any of our babies. I remember you telling us about the story of the hot dog right after your boy died. I laughed and cried for you. And for him. Your insight and genuine concern for others is what this forum is all about. Bless you, my friend.

And finally, my dearest Marie, words can't Express what you mean to me, and to countless others. I can only begin to imagine the hearts you have touched with your love for Raven and Mo. Many nights when I have cried over my babies you have given more comfort than anyone. Love you, my dear friend.

I have lost Chandler -- my best buddy in the world, Phoebe -- my sweetest who became something she wasn't, and now my dearest sweet India -- the little girl who gave me the absolute best gifts I have ever received, or ever will. My living room is flooded with my tears tonight.

Sorry this is so verbose, folks. Just needed to share with you. Bless you all.
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Chandlers_Dad

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Reply with quote  #302 
Took my baby to the cemetery today. I will pick up her cremains on Wednesday.

The finality is horrific. All of my fur babies are gone.

Losing India has brought about the pain of losing Chandler and Phoebe all over again. But deeper than that, my adored sweetheart isn't here like she was when I lost her children. That makes everything so much worse.

The litterbox is gone. The toys are put away. The food and water dishes are now tucked away in the pantry. Even her favorite blanket is now absent from the family room.

I look for India everywhere. I keep expecting to hear her slam the cabinet door to let me know she was hungry. To hear her back claws slide across the hardwood floor when she went to chill next to the ottoman in the study. To see her jump onto the sofa next to my chair so she can drink the water I always had on the end table. And to see her stretching on the floor in front of any window with a direct sunbeam.

I can't believe how much we have been crying here. I heard it said once that a heart can be broken, but it goes on beating just the same. I guess that must be true.

As always, just Bruce's ramblings because he is hurting so much. Three times in two years... that's the price we pay for loving them so much.

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Memories_of_Marmalade

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Reply with quote  #303 


Bruce,

My heart is already broken from the loss of my Little Princess aka "Marmalade" the cat, but it further breaks again now, for your loss of your beloved, beautiful India.

I am so glad however that for a time, you had that family of "3" cats with you! How delightful that India got to have her 2 babies with her and you for the time that you did. Simply wonderful to imagine. : )

I too keep imagining my Marmalade each morning, afternoon and night. My life is lonely now without my dear and only friend. And I am an empty husk of a human being. So please know that you are not alone. I hope each of us makes it through these difficult times. I can not imagine what you are going through losing 3 in such a short amount of time. You are a strong and courageous individual. 

Kind regards,
James
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Marie123

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Reply with quote  #304 
Oh, Bruce, I can just imagine how empty and bleak everything must be looking right now. It was the same for me when Raven went away. She got me through some of the worst times of my life. Once she was gone, I had no one to do that. It's like "Ok, now what?" And since you don't know, you just cry. It hardly seems fair that the love for them is so strong, and the pain of losing them is every bit so. Their love is unique and probably the purest I've ever come across, and it's not something that can just be put in a box and stowed away in a far corner of the mind. Love and grief are two sides of the same coin. Grief is just love with nowhere to go.
I wish I had some magic words but I don't. I'll just have to tell you that I understand, and that you're a wonderful person for taking India and her family in when they had nowhere to go. That says so much about you as a person. Kindness has a way of coming back around, you know. So be on the lookout for a special sign from your loved ones. They've got ways of saying thank you, I've discovered.
Wishing you all our best here in hot, sticky Missouri...
Marie, Roswell, Curtis and the crew 😺🐇🐌🐞🦎
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Chandlers_Dad

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Reply with quote  #305 
James,

Please accept my deepest sympathies over the loss of your Princess, Marmalade. Your dear baby being such an important, critical part of your life is never to be diminished. It doesn't matter if we have lost 1, or 3, or a dozen. Our babies captivate such a huge part of our lives, and we love them all as the individuals they are. My heart genuinely breaks for you. Love her, think about her, cry for her. You are among friends, all of whom have been there and are willing to hear whatever you have to say. You are not alone, either.

Bruce
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Chandlers_Dad

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Reply with quote  #306 
Marie,

I know the "Now what?" feeling too well. Your love for Raven is so strong that I can only imagine what you have gone through. And you're spot on about their love being unique and pure. "Grief is just love with nowhere to go"... I can't even say how accurate that statement is. There are no magic words... just caring people. You exemplify that, my friend.

Hugs from me and Mr. Foxy (Chandler and India's stuffed toy),

Bruce
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Memories_of_Marmalade

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Reply with quote  #307 

Hi Bruce,

Thank you kindly for your gracious words. I made a typo! I meant to write Little PRINCE. Marmalade would kill me as he was a total Alpha-Male Tom Cat, although his name was as sweet as jelly/jam. ; )  But thank you for being you and for your sentiment. 

All best,
James
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Chandlers_Dad

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Reply with quote  #308 
James,

So sorry, and yes, he will forgive you!!!!! May your Prince, dear Marmalade, be romping with my babies and so many others here! Thinking of you!!!

Bruce
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Jcunnane

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Reply with quote  #309 
Bruce,

Oh I am so sorry. I’m sorry this was such a difficult and painful day for you. My heart is breaking for you and everyone else here. I’m so sorry you had to feel this pain 3 times in the past two years. You’re a very strong person.

We too have a water bowl on our end table. I actually smiled when I read that. I saw somewhere that cats don’t like water near their food so I gave it a try. Low and behold our kitties loved it.

Like you said, I keep looking for Bubby. It’s so painful. I don’t know why our brains do this to us. I remember having to call our pet insurance company to cancel Bubby’s policy the night we got home, to call the vet to cancel his appointment so we can discuss his upcoming teeth removal and then the final of making a new fire sign without his name on it. Like you were saying how the litterbox was gone, the blanket was no longer and the bowls were put in the pantry. It just hurts so much and it hits hard. It actually happened. This is the new reality. The tough reality.

I’ve been having a few bad and difficult days myself. I guess that’s why I’ve been quiet here. I feel numb. I feel at a loss of words. As James said a husk of a human. He’s always so good with words. I just feel so empty. Maybe it’s because I haven’t really slept since Bubby crossed to the Rainbow Bridge and I’m just emotionally, physically and mentally drained. I’m not sure. All I know is that I’m not me. And that’s something I guess I should get used to. I won’t ever be that same person because Bubby isn’t here.

Thank you for opening your heart to me. I hope I can be there for you too. Our babies know how much we love them and that we wanted the best for them. We need to hold them close to our hearts and never let them go. They will forever be ours as you said.

Sending hugs,
Jackie

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Bubby's (Milo) Mommy - Always & Forever My Little Man 💜

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Chandlers_Dad

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Reply with quote  #310 
My dear Jackie,

I so wish I could give you more words of comfort. You will feel this way for a while. All I can say is to relish in it. Your Bubby was, is, and always will be such an important part of your life. He definitely knows you love him. Our fur babies are so in tune with us but we don't always give them ample credit for it. I honestly think their purity doesn't cloud what they feel. All they know is our love. Wrap yourself in that.

I can tell you're not just a casual pet lover. Our babies know this! Don't ruminate on anything. Just know you loved and adored him. He knows that, too! I truly believe they don't leave us. Too many instances with Chandler and Phoebe make me believe that.

Wrapping my hugs around you tonight. Tell Bubby you love him, hold his memory close, and let him know his legacy will never be gone. He'll know... trust me, he will.

Hugs to you.
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Jcunnane

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Reply with quote  #311 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chandlers_Dad
My dear Jackie,

I so wish I could give you more words of comfort. You will feel this way for a while. All I can say is to relish in it. Your Bubby was, is, and always will be such an important part of your life. He definitely knows you love him. Our fur babies are so in tune with us but we don't always give them ample credit for it. I honestly think their purity doesn't cloud what they feel. All they know is our love. Wrap yourself in that.

I can tell you're not just a casual pet lover. Our babies know this! Don't ruminate on anything. Just know you loved and adored him. He knows that, too! I truly believe they don't leave us. Too many instances with Chandler and Phoebe make me believe that.

Wrapping my hugs around you tonight. Tell Bubby you love him, hold his memory close, and let him know his legacy will never be gone. He'll know... trust me, he will.

Hugs to you.


Dear Bruce,

Thank you for your sweet and kind words. They truly mean a lot especially when I know you’re going through a painful and difficult time yourself. I know he knows I will always love him. He had so many “Oh Mommy enough kisses” all day everyday. For the last 8.5 months I was home 5 days a week since we had our first daughter. To say he was smothered would be an understatement. I’m so grateful I was able to spend all that time with him.

I dreaded the day this was going to happen and I knew it would be Bubby first. He got dealt a bad hand of health but he always fought through it. My true warrior, my hero. I just thought we would have a few more years..maybe til he was 14. Not right before 10. Now I get worried about his littermate/sister, Lola. I’ve been watching her like a hawk to make sure her health doesn’t decline because of her grieving. She’s much more independent and likes her space. A true tortie with the tortitude.

I know I need to go through this. We all do so we can be ok. To hold them close, close to our heart so we can keep going on. He’ll always be my shining star...my brightest star.

Thank you again for your sweet and kind words. I too wish I could say something to take your pain away. I know I can’t and we just have to feel. I hope you’re able to remember the good times with your sweet mama, India and hold them tight. Like you said, tell her you love her and she’ll know.

Hugs,
Jackie

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Bubby's (Milo) Mommy - Always & Forever My Little Man 💜

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3_cats_mom

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Reply with quote  #312 
Hi Bruce, 

I have been reading your thread. It's very touching. Our setup was kind of similar. I too had 3 cats. I have the mother and she gave birth 14 years ago to 3 kittens in my house. My husband and I decided to keep 2 (the brothers) and gave 1 away. Rouquinou (the orange of white tabby and also one of the brothers) died recently due to cancer. He had been sick for months. The whole family, including my 8-year-old son, has been very affected by his death. It changes the way we see life; it is too short and precious, and that we have to spend more time with loved ones while we still can. 

My other two cats seem to be doing ok, but they are 14 and 15 this year. I know that the dreadful day will come in the next few years. The mom and Rouquinou never really got along. His littermate used to be his best buddy when they were younger, but they were less close in recent years. Maybe it is better this way, so that they are not too affected by his death. One night, about a week after his death, his littermate (Blanchi) was looking around in the living room strangely, but there was nothing out of the ordinary. We were wondering if he saw/felt his brother. 

It is so hard to cope with a pet loss. I don't know if I'll have strength to adopt other pets after they pass.
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Chandlers_Dad

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Reply with quote  #313 
I read recently that pets don't stay here as long as people because loving and caring comes so quickly and easily to them that they don't have to be here so long because they don't take as long to learn it. Profound and definitely true.

Thank you, Jackie and 3_cats_mom,

Your losses are so profound. For you to post to me while you're in the throes of grief makes my heart swell. 3 cats, your situation definitely sounds similar to mine -- eerily so. I stared at the screen in disbelief as I read about Rouquinou (love his name!) and his mother and brother. It's just never long enough, no matter how long they're here. I am thinking of you and your family as you move through (never "over") his passing. Jackie, I think your love for Bubby warms my heart as much as anything could. He sounds so special dear to your heart, and he always shall be.

Tonight, I sit alone in this empty living room for the first time in almost 16 years. It's a moment-by-moment thing. I will be okay, knowing India is not suffering and is out of pain, and the next moment I will be sobbing uncontrollably. I bought a beautiful urn for her, more exquisite and grand than Phoebe and Chandler's urns because, you know, she's the matriarch. It does give me comfort in a sense, but I would so rather have her purring little body on my lap right now. More than just about anything.

Love is love. Doesn't matter who we love -- people vs. animals -- it's just as real. Bless you all.
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sma23

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Reply with quote  #314 
Bruce,

You are correct on that! Also, your pain and loss is very profound here. It’s been over a year since Ziggy had to be put down and not a day goes by without myself expecting him to jump up onto my lap and stretch himself from hip to toe. Let me tell you that for the first few days after his passing, I still ended up expecting to hear his collar bell jingling as he walked by. Although I’ve adjusted to the silence since then, I still hope to see him around the corner.

Zoey (his sister) recently turned 12 a few days ago. Just thinking about her increasing age made me wonder what it would have been like if Ziggy had lived. Would he be still the same old cat who adored laps, who chirped at the sight of birds in the backyard and loved to play with his carrot toy? We’ll never know, but I’m grateful he was my furbaby. I still hold onto his collar and - thankfully - have old photos stored in my camera from when he was a kitten.

I think that was how it went for us when our previous dog (a Cocker Spaniel) died. My memory on his age when he passed is vague, but it was devastating enough to where my family put off getting another pet for almost 10 years. It’s amazing how our animal friends form a bond with us that it becomes too hard to let them go. I think India would have loved it. From what you described about her, she was a very beautiful soul who deeply loved and appreciated the time you spent with her.

Take all the time you need to recover. It hurts to let them go, but we gain wisdom in return just from the amount of love we give to them. We’re here for you. Every step of the way.
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Marie123

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Reply with quote  #315 
I never thought of it that way. Animals don't need to be here as long because it doesn't take them as long to learn the things they need to. I'm going to have to try to remind myself of that. But like you say, it's never long enough. Forever wouldn't be long enough. But I have to try to believe that one day we'll have that forever, when we're all together once more.
Thinking of everyone here tonight 😺🐇🐌🦎🐞
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