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Sil

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Reply with quote  #226 
Chandlers Dad

I am truly sorry for your loss of Chandler.  I lost my Sol, a very special male doggie that stole my heart -.It will be a year next month July 17th. 

After they say good bye, life becomes like a rollercoaster, some days we are up and some days we are way down.  Their absence in our lives is so painful.  For me, those early days, were unbelievable hard.  I felt "incomplete".  

 I found this forum over 12 days ago, and writing about my fur baby has helped.  I found myself writing "with time the pain becomes less sharp".....but, the pain will be there, always.  I miss him.  I miss him looking at me with those eyes full of love and trust.  I miss how he would jump up and down the minute he see me.  Sol was always happy to see me, always eager to "just follow me". 

We hurt so much because the bond that we share with our fur babies is unlike any other.  Hugs

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Marie123

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Reply with quote  #227 
Hey there, Bruce! I've been thinking about you! How's India doing? I know you said she'd been depressed so I hope this finds her feeling better.
I know what you mean about all the signs they send us to say they're ok, but we still can't let go. I've been feeling that way with Raven. Maybe it's as though if Iet go, I feel as though I'm forgetting her completely. Nobody else's death, not even my own mother, has affected me this way. This is the one that has changed me forever. I'm a completely different person now. It's just how it is.
As Chandler's anniversary approaches, just know that you're in my thoughts and prayers. Give India and extra treat that day, and maybe have one yourself. Just know that Chandler and Phoebe will be with you on that day, to guide you through the tears.
Many blessings to you ๐Ÿฑ๐ŸŠ๐ŸŒ
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Purzel

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Reply with quote  #228 
Bruce,
 
Today, the 26th. one year has passed since your beloved Chandler left this world. Even tho time flies I think our losses feel like yesterday sometimes, especially on days like this one.
 
I remember coming to your thread and looking at this picture with you holding sweet Chandler close to you. My heart was melting then and there and I felt deeply touched. Such deep love was expressed in this picture you had posted there. No wonder, you still shed tears over such a loss. He was โ€˜the oneโ€™, your soul-mate.
 
โ€˜Letting goโ€™ โ€“ to me it means accepting the loss which does not mean I have to stop missing and shedding tears that we cannot hit the โ€œplay-back-buttonโ€ concerning time. Since that button is not available to us, we will most probabely shed tears forever but they will be shed with gratefulness and joy that we were so blessed.
 
So today, dear Bruce, I wish your heart filled with all the beautiful memories of Chandler, the joy, the good times, the laughter and quiet beautiful moments. Chandler lives in your heart and so does your love for him โ€“ this will never die.
 
In honor of Chandler I post a flower and send many wordless hugs to you
ChandlersFlower.jpg 


__________________
Silvia (with Max forever in my heart)

[hundi]


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Marie123

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Reply with quote  #229 
Bruce, may today be a day of peace for you, of reflection, of love and memories. May the love you share with Chandler surround you on this day and lift you up. Give India an extra treat and maybe have one yourself. Just know that my little family and I are thinking of you today. In honor of the love you shared, here's some lilacs.

Attached Images
jpeg 20180503_100151.jpg (1.43 MB, 1 views)

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Chandlers_Dad

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Reply with quote  #230 
I am touched and honored by your caring and supportive posts.

Sil, I am so sorry about Sol. You have found the right place here. These people truly care, and they understand because they have gone through it. You are right that our bonds with our babies are unlike any other. Thank you for your kind words. My thoughts are definitely with you.

Silvia, your post brought me to tears this morning. My heart is surely filled with joy about my memories of Chandler. I cannot believe a whole year has passed. I do believe I will always shed tears for him, but I feel blessed for experiencing a love unlike family-friends-spouses-children. Something else entirely. No less important and just as real. You have been there... you know what I mean. I pray you are doing alright, as your heart has been broken just like ours.

And my dear Marie, you say everything that others feel. Your kindness and wisdom never ends, and if I ever get the chance to meet you, you're getting the largest hug ever. Love you, my friend. I could go on and on about how much I (and many others!) appreciate what you bring to others. I hope Chandler and Phoebe are romping happily with Raven and Mo! :-)

Gave India some chopped beef tonight ... it's her favorite people food, and she'll knock down walls to get to it! It's her treat for this day. I am having a few (beer) treats tonight, myself...

The name of my post says what I really want to convey, as I mean it wholeheartedly: Thank You, Everyone. God Bless You All.

Bruce



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Marie123

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Reply with quote  #231 
You're so very welcome, Bruce! Thank you for your kind words, too, and I hope that some day we do meet in person. The stories we could swap about our little furballs! I still can't get the image of Raven rolling in bird poop and then trying to "share," or Mo lying in the plate of food. What goes through their heads sometimes, I often wonder? Do they just like to come up with ways to keep us guessing?
I totally agree with what you said about the love we get from these little guys. It's like nothing else. Hard to explain, but it's there, and when they leave us, it's an agony like no other. It doesn't have to have an explanation to be felt. It just is, and that's enough.
I had to smile about India loving the chopped beef. Roast beef was Raven's favorite, along with teriyaki chicken. I still can't look in the deli counter without crying. Weird but oh well.
I hope your memories of Chandler and Phoebe bring more smiles than tears in the days to come. As you say, we will always shed tears for them. But when we remember something silly they've done, or one of their little quirks, and smile, that's proof positive that they are still with us, letting us know that all is well.
All my best to you and India ๐Ÿฑโค
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Chandlers_Dad

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Reply with quote  #232 
Missing my babies tonight.
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Marie123

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Reply with quote  #233 
Hey, Bruce. I know what you mean. It just hits out of the blue, doesn't it? It doesn't take much to set a person down that familiar path of tears, either. A song (for me it's "Bright Eyes" from Watership Down, sung by Art Garfunkel) a certain slant of sunlight, even an aroma, can bring it all back. It's perfectly ok. If we don't allow ourselves these times, we would go out of our minds. It's just proof of how much we love them still. I think it's those times where we miss them especially badly is when they're nearest to us, and we feel them there, but to our frustration we can no longer see or touch them as we once did. It's our hearts and souls trying to make sense of it all. It's just a theory, but it's kind of what it feels like to me.
Sending hugs and prayers your way tonight. May Chandler and Phoebe pay you a visit tonight as you sleep and give you pleasant dreams.
Love from Marie and the crew ๐Ÿฑ๐Ÿ‡๐ŸŒ๐ŸŠ
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Chandlers_Dad

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Reply with quote  #234 
Thank you so much, my friend Marie. Thought I would be better by now. The smallest things bring me down. Certain songs do it most quickly. Especially "Bridge Over Troubled Water" for Chandler, and "Hero" for Phoebe. Damn, I miss them. I know you know what I mean.
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Marie123

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Reply with quote  #235 
So true, Bruce. And yet I find myself listening to that darned song anyway, over and over, tears flowing. Maybe it's because in those moments, we feel them especially close to us. It's not something I can explain, but I'm certain you know what it's like. There's no time limit or rules to this stuff, I've figured out. It just is, unfortunately.
Wishing you well on this summer night ๐Ÿฑ
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Sil

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Reply with quote  #236 
Chandlers , Marie123,

It is so true, any little thing can unlock a memory from past times spent with our fur babies.  Time passes by, but our pain stays in our hearts.  We will always miss them, we will cry remembering their "silly antics", their love for certain treats, foods....I just had a "very cold glass of milk",  Sol (my male doggie) loved milk....I know, I know, I was a "not responsible" mommy - but, somehow, Sol "recognized, knew the smell"of the milk carton/plastic.  Sol would watch me pour a glass and started - "asking me for milk" - Sol would just sit there, with those incredible brown eyes and gave me the "look" - so, I would just measure - exactly 4 ounces milk 4 ounces water....Sol, would just start slurping, faster, and faster until it was gone.  Since, milk is a huge no-no, that was our secret.

Marie123,  "Raven rolling in bird's poop  and then trying to share"...โ€ฆ..I pictured this and I could not stop laughing.  They really live life with such "content and simplicity" - they "extract joy" from anything, and they life and just being.  That's why their absence is so painful.  Hugs 
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Marie123

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Reply with quote  #237 
It's so true. One of Raven's favorite treats was Hillshire roast beef. That and teriyaki chicken. I'm just now getting to where I can eat the chicken again, but I can't even look at the roast beef in the cold cuts dept and I doubt I'll ever buy it again. I bought that especially for her because I knew she loved it. When she got sick, she lost her appetite even for that, and as a result it's now one of the things that "sets me off." So weird! They're so special, so precious, that I doubt those "little things" will ever go away. I know you guys know exactly what I'm talking about.
Hugs to all ๐Ÿฑ๐Ÿบ
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Chandlers_Dad

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Reply with quote  #238 
Laughing, and I needed that!

Sil, our babies love milk! So do I... if you take my milk away, you might as well just stab me! Chandler loved it -- even though he hated all other people food and drink -- and India still goes nuts when she hears the fridge open. When he got sick, Chandler would drink milk when he wouldn't eat anything else at all.

Marie, I do listen to those songs. Over and over. Self torture? Maybe. But those songs bring me closer to them.

Last night was horrible, but this morning those cardinals showed up again on my patio. They both looked in the window and sang. I truly believe that Chandler and Phoebe were telling me to chill. They're okay. They want me to be, too. Tried to take a picture of them... blurry, but I will attach it if I can.

Love to you all.

Bruce
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Chandlers_Dad

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Reply with quote  #239 
Very blurry, but they are both here.

Attached Images
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jpeg 20180607_134905.jpg (3.80 MB, 2 views)

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Marie123

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Reply with quote  #240 
I was wondering the same thing, Bruce, about the songs. I listen to "Bright Eyes" and a couple of others over and over, and wondering if it's not some weird form of self-torture, or just a way to help the tears I've kept bottled up for however long find an outlet before I lose my mind. Like popping a champagne cork and it all bubbles out at once (not as tasty though mind you!)
That's so amazing about the cardinals coming to see you. Theyre just beautiful! They seem to be looking right at you! I've had the same thing with a mockingbird that shows up whenever I'm especially down. Same with the cottonwood seeds blowing all over. But it's not the same as having them by our sides, on our laps, in our arms. That's the frustrating part. It's the part that's with us each day. It seems impossible now to believe that one day we WILL see and hold them again, but we need to have faith that we will. The Creator would never allow something as wonderful as the love we shared with these special little someones to be taken away forever. It's just really hard sometimes to remember that. But our babies would want us to try, and to keep their love alive.I wonder if Raven's found any bird poop to roll in. My Mum told me that there were probably dinosaurs at the Bridge, and since some dinosaurs were related to birds, maybe I should worry about what she's found to roll in and "share" with me when I get there....
Wishing you all sweet dreams of your little ones tonight. All my best from Marie and the crew ๐Ÿฑ๐Ÿบ
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