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Chandlers_Dad

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Reply with quote  #121 
BonniesMum, Thank you for that. I can't imagine how it must feel adopting a new one and sensing how different it must be. That's why I am resisting. I am not sure how India would react, and I don't want to do anything to hurt her any further than what she is already feeling. I am sure your newer babies received love just the same, and I respect you for giving your love to them. But no, it couldn't be the same.

Marie, I am going to take a picture of Chandler's cookie jar and post it. Now that you've seen Phoebe, maybe you will understand my concern over painting it to look like her, lol.

India is better tonight. Loving and affectionate, if not a tad clingy. If Phoebe and Chandler were spoiled (and they WERE), India must be feeling especially royal right now!

Love you all. Good night.

Bruce
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Chandlers_Dad

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Reply with quote  #122 
So, just as I am getting ready for bed, I scroll through YouTube and find a video of two children singing Josh Groban's "You Raise Me Up", and now I am crying all over again. Hauntingly beautiful.

Now for real, good night, Everyone.
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Chandlers_Dad

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Reply with quote  #123 
Chandler's cookie jar.

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Marie123

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Reply with quote  #124 
Awww it's absolutely adorable! Chandler must be so proud of you! That's such a sweet thing to do. Our little friends really are like cookies too. They make our lives so much sweeter.
My friend has a tiger calico as well. She looks like a crazy quilt. Just beautiful! Their markings are so intricate. I'm sure Phoebe will be there to help you paint her likeness on this next cookie jar, making sure you get her good side lol.
I know what you mean about the songs. I've been listening to a song by the Gaelic artist Enya. It's called "Stars and Midnight Blue." Part of it goes "once you filled my hands with roses, now I've lost myself in you." It's just how I've felt since losing my sweet friends. Once they gave me such happiness and beauty, and now all I can think about are those times and long for them once more. I know so many others here can relate.
I hope you have a good night. I'm glad India is better! Mine always knew when I was going on a trip, and would do everything in their power to hinder me, from sticking to me like burrs to, in Raven's case, getting in the open suitcase and swatting me when I tried to put stuff in it!
Blessings to you tonight 🐱🐺🌷

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Chandlers_Dad

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Reply with quote  #125 
Good evening, Everyone,

I don't know where to begin. I have been reading so many posts this afternoon, and want to reply to everyone. Maybe I am still too self-absorbed, I guess, but even just reading the posts helps me. If only I could be the same support to everyone else... I send love and comfort and best wishes and hugs to so many out there, whether on this forum or just hurting silently. I have such appreciation for anyone at all who has lost a loved one, but even more so for those grieving a "non-traditional" family member. Doesn't mean we should love them any less.

I miss Chandler and Phoebe so much. I am sick of crying all the time. And I know everyone else feels the same way, but we cannot help it. No doubt, most of us have lost other loved ones... family, friends... but that doesn't diminish what we're feeling now. It hurts tremendously.

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Marie123

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Reply with quote  #126 
Bruce,I know what you mean. I wish I could spend more time with everyone too. My heart goes out to everyone as well that are hurting.
And you're right. I've lost both parents both sets of grandparents and various other people for one reason or another.I've never married or had kids. Just no interest in it I guess. But this loss is on a whole different level. It's hard to explain. Maybe it's because animals love us on a whole different level. I almost believe it's because their love is the closest to the love God, or whomever we believe in, has for us. Pure, unselfish, unconditional, and always there. I don't really know, but it's an idea. But to know the love of one of these creatures is to experience a bit of heaven, but when they leave us it's as if we've been thrown straight into the other place.
I hope you and India are doing as ok as expected. Hugs to you and to all 🐱🐺
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catiebee

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Reply with quote  #127 
Marie, I appreciate and relate much to your post to Bruce.

Ahh, Bruce. The wretched and copious tears. I'm so sorry, because they do hurt so deeply. I hope they bring you some relief, if only partial and temporary. Yes, I sure understand. There is indeed something about the innocence and purest of loves and the openheartedness of our beloved pets that seems to reach the deepest places in our hearts. The loss is just. So. Deep. 

Hoping better and easier days are on the horizon for you.

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-Missing Marissa deeply
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Chandlers_Dad

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Reply with quote  #128 
Catibee, I know you understand very deeply, and I thank you. You know how much this hurts, and you hit the nail on the head about the openheartness from our babies. I swear nothing hurts more.

Marie, you said it all about the pure, unselfish, and unconditional love. They don't judge... they just love. Maybe that's why we hurt so much. People don't have that quality, as a rule.

Tonight I am paranoid. India has been throwing up everywhere all evening. She has retreated under the table and is being listless. I pray she just has an upset tummy and wants to be alone. I know I am hypersensitive at this point considering Chandler and Phoebe, but I just cannot lose her, too. When Phoebe had her dental issue shortly after Chandler died, I was relieved beyond belief when that turned out to be not serious. And now she's gone, too. A bit nervous tonight here.

Sleep well, Everyone. Hugs to all.
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Marie123

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Reply with quote  #129 
Aww, Bruce! I hope India feels better soon. Sometimes when they're stressed out cats can get upset stomachs just like humans. I know what you mean though. Roswell had a bout of that awhile back and I was freaking out after Raven. I ended up gettting her antibiotics and kaopectate. She's ok now but it really scared me. Please keep us all posted on how she's doing.
Their love really is just about the purest form, isn't it? I don't know what I'd do without the love of my little friends. So sweet, so forgiving.
I hope India feels better. You both deserve a break from the pain. Take care now 🐱🐺
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gizmomybaby

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Reply with quote  #130 
Aw Bruce am so sorry to hear about phoebe specially so soon after chandler, am so sad you are going through this x I understand when you say your hart is feeling shredded it's a horrendous pain , am at 7 month of my baby boy gizmo passing and I still cant come to terms with it . Plz know am thinking of you & sending love & hugs & prayers, am so so sorry πŸ’” Annemarie & candy gizmo xxx
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Marie123

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Reply with quote  #131 
Hi there, Bruce. Just checking in on you and India to see how you're doing. Just know you're both in my thoughts and prayers and that I hope you're doing ok. Take care of yourself and your girl. I'll be thinking of you!
Hugs from Marie and the crew 🐱🐺🐌🐊
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RileysMom

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Reply with quote  #132 
Hi Bruce,

Sending kind thoughts and well wishes to you and India today...

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Val
β€”Loving Riley, Rosy & Axl always 🐾

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Chandlers_Dad

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Reply with quote  #133 
Marie, Annmarie, Catiebee, and RileysMom,

Thank you for your thoughts and kind words. Please know I return all the hugs and prayers to all of you. You don't know how sincerely I mean that. So many of you on the forum have kept me going.

I have been out of commission lately due to the MS. Chandler used to sit by my side whenever I was going through flares of this junk, and not having him here beside me has been so hard right now. And Phoebe has been gone just a month ago yesterday, so I think my grief is exacerbating everything. Thank God for India... she has resumed the role of sweet, loving, affectionate little girl. Clingy but I love it!

Hope you are well. Thinking of all of you.

Bruce
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Marie123

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Reply with quote  #134 
Hey there Bruce! I'm sorry to hear you haven't been feeling well. I know a couple folks with MS, and you're right, it hits like a freight train. I'm glad India is doing ok. You both need each other right now. It's funny how they can tell when we're not feeling well. Raven would always jump up and nudge me or paw at me. I always said she was making sure I wasn't dead! And you're right about the grief making it worse. Emotional pain and physical pain feed off each other, I believe, and without our babies there to carry us through, it's unbearable at times. I just can't believe how such a small creature can have such a huge presence. It's like having your very own little package of God's love, wrapped in a furry container! That's just kind of how it feels. But oh, when they leave it feels as though we've been tossed straight into the other place! Such small creatures, such big hearts.
I hope you get to feeling better soon. I'll say an extra prayer tonight, and be sure to tell India hi from everyone here.
Blessings from Marie, the cats, newts, snails, banana slugs and hissing cockroaches (I've gotten a few more family members since we talked last lol!)
Take care now 🐱🐺🐌
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Chandlers_Dad

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Reply with quote  #135 
Marie! Your statement about "God's love, wrapped in a furry container" says it all! Couldn't say it better, and thank you! Much love to you and your zoo (I mean that lovingly, lol).
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