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Marie123

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Reply with quote  #91 
I know what you mean, Bruce. When Geronimo died it was like having a new wound gouged out right alongside the first. Phoebe is just beautiful! I love calicos. The picture of her with her mother just breaks my heart. So sweet and so precious. India must miss her very much.
It's odd how things work, isn't it? I've been able to process the loss of all the humans in my life, for whatever reason, but I truly believe losing Raven and then Geronimo was the proverbial straw that broke the camel's back. It's because of the love animals give, I believe. They don't judge or give unwanted advice. Even the humans I loved could be annoying as blazes, but when the cats did something annoying I'd just laugh it off. They got away with more than the people did, because their love was so pure.
Take all the time you need, Bruce. My heart goes out to you and India right now. Give her a big hug from me. We all gotta stick together 🐱🐺
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Chandlers_Dad

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Reply with quote  #92 
Marie, And yet again, you articulate it perfectly.

I admit I had to laugh when you commented that the humans in your life could be annoying. YEP! But with the cats, we just understand and accept, and love them all the more.

And you are right that we all need to stick together. You folks get me through this. I hope that at least in some small way, I can as well.

Hugs...
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Marie123

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Reply with quote  #93 
Bruce, you're such a caring soul. Your kindness has more than helped me and so many others here. Just remembering what you said about not liking cats before India moved in with her babies is proof of what a wonderful person you are!
And you're right. My animals get away with stuff the humans I know would get the 3rd degree for! But it works both ways. If I mess up royally, the animals don't care, but most of the humans I've known would never let me live it down. We could all take a lesson from these wonderful kind creatures we share the earth with, in love, compassion and forgiveness.
Blessings to you and yours 🐺🐱🐌🐊
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Chandlers_Dad

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Reply with quote  #94 
So many aching hearts here. I just want to reach out to everyone. The entire reason we all came together is because of our love for the best friends we may ever have. It's not that any of us have magical words of wisdom and comfort, but more that we understand and appreciate the pain others feel.

But I am also a hypocrite.

I was initially here because of my own pain because of Chandler. In the earlier weeks, I was seeking the support I didn't believe was elsewhere. Over time, though, I truly felt for others and my eyes were opened. "It's not just YOU, Bruce!" I told myself. Still, I was here to seek something I couldn't get anywhere else.

Chandler's death rattled me to the end of the earth. And now my sweet little Phoebe's death is sending me over the edge.

I know I will be fine, as will everyone else, but the physical sickness of this grief is something we cannot deny.
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RileysMom

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Reply with quote  #95 
Bruce,

It is very true what you said— I really think that grief isn’t just an emotional process, but it also affects us physically, mentally and spiritually. It’s like we have to process it and heal in all aspects of our life.

I’m really sorry for your double wounded pain, it must be very overwhelming at times. Double the sadness, double the tears ... and if needed, double the beers. Absolutely. Carefully, and in mind of health of course.

We all will be fine. But, it certainly does help to get everything off our chest here in the meantime. Keep taking care of yourself, and give India an extra little scratch from me.

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Val
—Loving Riley, Rosy & Axl always 🐾

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Marie123

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Reply with quote  #96 
So true. Since Raven and Geronimo have left, I've been a different person. I've been listless and haven't cared about the house, and I've lost so much weight from not having any appetite it's unreal. I'm getting a bit more energy now, and my appetite has improved, but the mental pain is still there, sometimes just lurking at the back of my mind, other times it's the elephant (or maybe dinosaur) in the room. But like so many of us here, I too came initially for the support and comfort I didn't feel I was getting elsewhere. But now, I find that reaching out to others who are hurting is just as important. I try to be for them what Raven was for me; that rock in times of hardship. It's the least I could do for her and the rest, after the lifetime of love they've given me. Everyone here is so nice and welcoming.It's a wonderful way to keep the love our babies gave us alive in a world that needs more love.
Blessings to all 🐺🐱🐌
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Purzel

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Reply with quote  #97 
Bruce,

I'm sending you my wordless hugs.

Please, take care

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Silvia (with Max forever in my heart)

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Chandlers_Dad

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Reply with quote  #98 
I have spent almost all day on here, reading the stories of others. My heart hurts for these people, and I just want to reach out to all of them. I felt comforted today -- not because others are hurting -- but because I genuinely believe everyone has found the right place to express their love and grief. We are not alone, and that helps more than anything, at least for me.

I have had a lot of bad moments today, though. Earlier I was looking for something on my phone and stumbled across a bunch of pictures of Phoebe and Chandler. I swear I almost hyperventilated. I miss them incredibly, and am still processing my little girl not being on my lap.

And India is worrying me. She is in such grief. She tried to get up on my lap earlier and couldn't, and I have no idea why. She retreated to a corner and curled up in a ball. I picked her up and put her on my lap, but after 60 seconds she jumped down. And this girl loves nothing more than being loved on. I am being silly and paranoid, I think. I hope.

Ramble is over. For now.
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Marie123

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Reply with quote  #99 
I think you've summed it up for a lot of us here, Bruce. Coming here and telling our stories is a huge comfort. Sometimes this is my only outlet, as I'm sure is the case for many. My friends don't always have time for me. The only people who ever come to my house are the folks who cut my lawn and the delivery guy with the Chewy order. So I'm pretty much alone most days. Finding you and all the rest has been a real blessing!
Poor little India. She sounds so sad! It makes me cry just to think of her missing her babies. I don't know if this would help, Bruce, but I found a product called Nature's Miracle calming spray for cats. It's in a white bottle with red lettering and you can find it at petco and on Amazon, Chewy.com and eBay. It's helps calm cats that are upset or scared. I just spray it on their sleeping spots or inside the cat carrier if we're going "bye-bye." It seems to help mine. Maybe it'll bring India some comfort as well.
Blessings to you and India at this time. Take care of yourselves 🐺🐱
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RileysMom

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Reply with quote  #100 
I’m sorry about India! I know what that’s like worrying about our other ones with us. I hope she’s okay. Continue to give her lots of love, not just from you, but all of us too.

I feel like there’s nothing new I can say to you, you’ve already been through it all. But these early days of loss are so hard. It feels like being emotionally beaten up with a battering ram, and randomly coming across the pictures and reminders are sometimes like thousands upon thousands of pinpricks on our hearts.

Keep on hanging in there!

“Ramble is over. For now.” Sounds kind of ominous, but a good kind of ominous I’m okay with. 😉

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Val
—Loving Riley, Rosy & Axl always 🐾

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Chandlers_Dad

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Reply with quote  #101 
Marie, Thank you for that suggestion! I saw it in the store a couple of weeks ago as I was looking for something else, and I wondered if it worked. Heading there tomorrow to get some.

RileysMom, Thank you for your reply. I tried to brush India a few minutes ago -- her favorite activity -- and she ran off. My heart fell to my ankles.

God, we have to get through this. Thank you for helping me.
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Chandlers_Dad

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Reply with quote  #102 
Phoebe, my sweet... damn, I never expected to lose you so soon. And Chandler, please take good care of her. Love and miss you both more than words can say.
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Marie123

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Reply with quote  #103 
Raven and Geronimo are there to help them settle in, Bruce. And my Mum's there too. She loved animals so I know that Chandler and Phoebe will be whiling away the spring in her garden, along with the other babies at the Bridge. But oh, how we wish they were still here with us!
Let me know how the spray works. Roswell loves it. I put it on places she likes to be so she can calm down when my youngest cat, Phoenix, is on one of his wild rampages.
Blessings to you 🐱🐺
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catiebee

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Reply with quote  #104 
Bruce, I am so, so sorry for your double grief. It must be so hard to have two losses so close to each other. And especially after Phoebe grew so close to you and became so cuddly. I hate that India is struggling so much right now, too. I'm sure that weighs heavily on your mind. I hope she will be able to settle down and be more herself soon. 

I wish there was anything I could say to make things easier on you but I know there isn't. I wish it didn't take so long for the heartache to ease. I wish you comfort and strength during these hardest of days.  Take care of you, especially while your emotions are so raw. 

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Catie
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Purzel

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Reply with quote  #105 
Bruce,

I think India needs some time as well, just like you. It is all too sad. My heart goes out to you.

I wish to give you the story of Paul hoping it will make you smile a bit. So here it goes:

My beloved little Max wanted to friendly greet the very first cat of his life..... and it had to be Paul! Max wagged his tail in joy and Paul wagged his tail as well for completely other reasons. And  within seconds he hit my little Max right accross the nose and Max cried out loud.  And that was it! Paul as “representative of all cats on earth” blew it.
 
Paul was the most special cat I’ve met in my lifetime. His hobby was to hide in a bush or the high grass alongside the path and jump onto innocent dogs passing by leaving the dogs and their humans in a state of shock.  Max and Paul had made a “my best foe-friend” game out of this as the years went – but they never injured one another.
 
Now there was this old lady who lived all alone in a house overgrown with wild wine, a beautiful garden with old trees, bushes and flowers looking like a place out of some fairytale. She was grieving the recent loss of her cat. So, what did Paul do? He packed and left his noisy family to live with the old lady from then on. He might have thought that instead of sharing his mom with another cat and two dogs and four children, it would be just right in his older years to be loved exclusively by this old lady. And so it was. Paul had the most beautiful life and could be out hunting mice and chasing dogs every day.
 
The old lady and I became friends as the years went and each time she was in hospital  I watched the house and took care of Paul. I let him out in the mornings and let him in in the evenings. I fed him and I cuddled him. Yes, yes, I loved to cuddle with this black devil , the one who attacked my sweet Max any time he possibly could. Max never found out.



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Silvia (with Max forever in my heart)

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