angie82
I just want to thank you all for all your warmth support to me emotionally. I am so thankful to joined this group and meet people that truly understand what it is like to loose pets that you do care and love. It has been two weeks since I lost snicker . I had her body cremated and I picked up her ashes last Thursday. She is now at our new home but yesterday when I put her picture and paw print in the picture frame I lost my mind again. I miss her so much ! I can’t stop crying now and then. I do hope like you guys said that it will get better. I am having such a hard time coping. Thanks you guys! There she is at my home on attached picture.
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Mybeautifulboy
Hi Angie82, I am sorry for your loss of Snicker. I lost Bosco eight months ago yesterday and I am also grateful that I found this forum. Although it has been awhile since I have posted anything I still check in regularly to read the post. The support of others who have experienced a loss is so very comforting.

Please remember to take care of yourself.
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Memories_of_Marmalade


Dear Angeline,

I am glad that you picked up the ashes of Snicker and have them displayed now at your home. It took some time for me to pick up my cat's ashes Marmalade and then when they were ready, I walked over to the Animal Hospital to pick them up. I was calm, lucid and focused. I just wanted to get it over with. I don't like even being in the vicinity of that place again. I avoid getting close to it when out and about.

The warehouse where my Marmalade & I lived is about 7 or 8 blocks from the Animal Hospital. Which is why I partially chose it for Marmalade's final treatment and surgeries. I walked on a sunny, breezy, beautiful day to the Hospital and entered swiftly with purpose and picked-up his ashes. I showed no emotion. The ashes were in a small cedar box and placed in a small white bag. Along with Marmalade's paw prints. As I exited the Animal Hospital, I held the white bag gently to my chest and began walking home. As I did, I was overcome with this strange energy against my chest. I was still not thinking or feeling anything at the time. I was just very, very calm and numb. I just wanted to Marmalade's ashes back to where we lived.

As I walked the energy grew and grew and grew. There was a feeling of warmth and love emanating from within the white bag. And it grew. So much so that a smile came to my face involuntarily. It felt as though the ashes were the origin point of this feeling. By the time I got home, the energy was so strong I felt as if I could float off the ground. That I levitate off of my feet it was so overwhelming. The hairs on my neck and arm were standing up. I felt a feeling of almost childlike giddiness. I placed the ashes down on Marmalade's favorite perch on the arm of our couch and sat down and watched video's and looked at photos of him and pressed his ashes to my chest. And I told him "How much I love and miss him" and "How very sorry that I was that I could not save him." And then I wept, and wept, and wept. I was so relieved that my boy was finally home again. Even in that form.

I display the ashes on my night stand next to where I sleep in the warehouse. I tell Marmalade "Good Morning" each day, how my day went at the end of each day and "Good night" each night. Sometimes I will stop by the warehouse from my office nearby during the day and say "Hello" to him.

I miss him so. As you do your Snickers. I agree, this forum has been a Godsend to me and my attempts to heal. There was no one I could speak to about my grief and loss. About my guilt and regret. The members here have truly made a difference in my life and ongoing recovery.

I hope you continue to travel through time and heal. Thank you for sharing some of Snicker's and your's story and the photo you just posted.

Kind regards,
James
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