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SureShot

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Posts: 3
Reply with quote  #1 
She started growing a lump in her neck, which we first assumed was another lipoma.  The vet checked it out for us and in the process, discovered a fractured/abscessed tooth.  Two rounds of antibiotics later, the lump hasn't changed.  We hoped it would shrink when the infection was under control, but no such luck.  Pathology suggests that she's metastatic, most likely originating somewhere in her head/mouth.  Shows no real signs of discomfort, mostly still her old self.  Playing, eating, going for walks, happy to see us.

I do pick up on her breathing sounding more shallow and quicker than it should be... seems like she tires out a little faster than usual.  I worry that we're going to find it in her lungs.  We have a consultation with the oncologist a week from Friday.

If it's truly spread, I don't think we'll be pursuing treatment if it's offered to us.  I have a feeling they're not going to want to try and I'm preparing for a difficult decision ahead.  We don't want to put her through difficult surgeries and lots of scary appointments and treatments only to buy ourselves a few more months.  It just doesn't feel like the right thing.  I can't bear to drag this out for a year, and watch her suffer through it.  

Haven't told our kids yet.. 11 and 14.  Each day they get with her without this clouding their joy is better for all involved. After our appointment next Friday, we'll know exactly what to say.  I'm so afraid that they'll come home from school to find her having an issue.  I just can't put that on their shoulders.  

She's only 7, and such a good, good girl.  I love her dearly.  It's so weird to feel like I'm saying goodbye every day, and she's still here.  Really messing with me.  
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CK1991

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Reply with quote  #2 
I’m so sorry you got this terrible news! Seven is so young to have this happen. It’s so unfair! I have to say that I admire what you said about “not putting her through through difficult surgeries and lots of scary appointments and treatments only to buy ourselves a few more months.” It’s the right thing but it takes a lot of courage to make that decision. I know. I understand that you feel you are in mourning now because you’ve been devastated by such awful news. My advice would be to try and just “throw it off” and then try hard as hard as you can to just enjoy the time you have left while she’s here. Take advantage of the time, enjoy her and let her enjoy life. I don’t think that in your place I would tell your kids yet. If everyone is grieving then you will all miss out on happy times that you can still have even if they are shorter than you would like. It’s good to come here and express how sad you are feeling, it’s a place where everyone understands. Then go back and make the time to do some enjoyable things with your kids and your beloved girl now.
The other thing I would watch is her pain level as cancer is painful and animals will hide their pain.
Bless you! I know this is very hard! Please post again with how you and your girl are getting on. Hugs to you!
CK
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SureShot

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Reply with quote  #3 
Thank you CK.  Still haven't told the kids. Nothing has changed much other than I've stopped crying all the way home from work every day, and I seem to be able to talk about it with my husband without losing it now.  Friday morning is our big appointment... I've re-read that damn cytology report about 15 times now and can't find a thing there that makes me feel any better.  I'm worried about going to this appointment and being sold on a long, costly treatment plan that ultimately won't change anything for us. I don't know how to express that to the docs without sounding like money is my only focus.  From what I can understand so far, even with all the money in the world to throw at it, we can't fix this.  I'm under no illusions otherwise.  

Stinker dog is still acting mostly normal, aside from wearing out faster than she used to.  Lots of smiles, lots of begging, thoroughly loving going for walks and playing football in the back yard.  If she's hurting she's great at hiding it.  Trying to make every day a good one for her. 
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CK1991

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Posts: 577
Reply with quote  #4 
I’m so sorry I just saw your post!! I hope your appointment went okay and that you were able to get the information you needed. Animals do hide their pain. It’s an instinct with them unfortunately so it’s sometimes really hard to tell how they are actually feeling. I hope you get my message. Please post an update whenever you feel up to it. I’ll be checking back. Hugs to you!!
CK
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