Scoffy2020

Yesterday, one of the worst accidents of my life occurred. My baby boy (cat) climbed into the dryer without me knowing and it was on for nearly 30 minutes. When I opened it up and saw him in there I collapsed. We rushed him to the vet, but the damage was already done. I will never forget that image of him struggling to breath and his eyes completely glazed over and blood all over the dryer. It haunts me. I am so upset and feel like I can’t go on without him. I will never get over the guilt I feel. It is crippling. I tried so hard to give my cats the best life ever, and then it ends in the worst possible way. My living cat is already becoming depressed and I don’t know what to do. I’m grieving, but he is also grieving too and I need to be there for him. I wish I could erase this tragic memory from my mind and only focus on the good times I had with him. It absolutely breaks my heart that he had to suffer in the worst way possible 😭😭😭

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Lily123

I am so sorry for your loss. Losses like this are extremely difficult to process. It is one of the worse feelings in the world. Guilt is a natural feeling but it does not mean you did anything wrong. it was an accident. You loved your cat very much and he knew that. That’s what’s important. 

From your post, it also seems like his last moments were spent with you. I’m sure that brought him a lot of comfort being with his family.


I am glad you found this forum. People understand what you are going through and you are not alone. 

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NeonCat
I am so so sorry. I have no words to help heal your heart. You are dealing with unimaginable pain. I will say, however, try to be there for your living cat. I lost a cat to a long battle with kidney disease on February 3rd. Our other cat, Josie, was clearly troubled/depressed. Being lost in my own grief, I did not give Jose the attention she needed. Now I am haunted by guilt. Josie suddenly became ill and died on February 19th. I'm doubly heartbroken. You clearly love your babies. I'm sure they realize you gave/are giving them the best life possible. I'm sure they know they have your heart. Hugs to you
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BlairS
My God, I can't even begin to imagine the pain you must be feeling.  I cry every day for my loss, but today I'm crying for yours as well.  Nothing anyone here can say is going to make it better, but know that you are in all of our thoughts and prayers.
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Buddy_Mama
Oh Scoffy2020, my heart is breaking for you at this horrible experience. Please, please, please don't blame yourself. You didn't know. I hope you're doing OK since posting, and that you're able to love & cuddle with your living cat to give you both some comfort. Please check back in to let us know how you're doing. Sending you hugs and love.
Cindy (Buddy’s mama)
My baby Buddy 5/4/10-3/7/20, rescued March 2011
My sweet Mandy 11/27/91-11/2/10, rescued November 1992
My beautiful Barney 4/28/73-9/7/92, adopted May 1973
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Bigcatsdad
I'm so very sorry for your loss.
Things in life happen that we have no control over. Try not to feel guilty as you had no way of knowing this would happen, this is a tragic accident. Your little one knew you loved him and were there for him and gave him a good home and you were with him in the end. Your other little friend is there for you too and loves you and needs some extra love and attention now. I hope you two can lean on each other for support in such a dark time. I hope you can keep the good memories of your lost one close to your heart and bring you a little comfort in time.
This forum is very good and helps a lot. Everyone here understands the pain and heart break of loosing a little one that means so much.
My heart goes out to you.
Bigcatsdad
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Scoffy2020

Thank you all so much for your support. Every response I read made me cry because everyone is so nice. Your support and kind words means so much so me after being in such a dark place. I am so happy I found this forum. I am still overcome with guilt and grief, but I have been putting a lot of effort into focusing on the great life he had. I don't think I will ever forget the horrific image I have of him during his last moments, but I am practicing quickly trying to think of something else when my mind goes there. Overtime, I hope that image will fade and his beautiful memories will shine. 

Buddy_Mama - my cat looked exactly like your beautiful black kitty in your profile pic ☺️ 

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Buddy_Mama
Awww, we have the love of a beautiful black cat in common (Bigcatsdad does too). 🙂 Scoffy, I'm glad you're focusing on ways to redirect to happier thoughts when the grief and guilt take over. That's what I need to do too. As much as I'm leaning on this community for support and understanding, I want to offer just as much support and understanding to others. As one of the moderators said in the online pet loss support chat group I participated in last night, sharing the burden helps lessen the pain. Hugs to you and everyone else here. <3

Cindy (Buddy's mama)
Cindy (Buddy’s mama)
My baby Buddy 5/4/10-3/7/20, rescued March 2011
My sweet Mandy 11/27/91-11/2/10, rescued November 1992
My beautiful Barney 4/28/73-9/7/92, adopted May 1973
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Cassies_mom1
I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope your doing better. I just want you to know I'm thinking of you.
Beatrice Eaton
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JulieF
I am so sorry for your loss.  I am glad you are doing better.  You came to the right place - there is no judgement here, only kindness and understanding.

Bless you.
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Monroegirl
I'm so very sorry for your loss. I'm glad to hear that you're doing better. Take care of yourself. 
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