saraherichey Show full post »
saraherichey
Julia, I know exactly what you mean. My husband and I were watching Jimmy Fallon on Late Night and were laughing out loud for the first time, but then afterward felt horrible and guilty. I know this will eventually go away, but just a weird feeling.

Just as you are looking on the kitchen counter, we are looking on the kitchen floor, to not step on him as we leave the kitchen area. This is what is most painful. 

I am doing better of thinking of good memories, and not dwelling on the what ifs of the day it happened, since I know there is nothing I can do about it now...as bad as it hurts.
Sarah Richey
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jacquinoelle
A friend recommended that I write an obituary and post it to Facebook with a photo collage, which I did. As the 50+ messages of love for her came pouring it, I experienced both happiness and the worst feelings of grief I have ever felt.
The point is that I don't know how to heal yet? I am trying everything everyone suggests to me and I am met with only momentary relief.

I can't even watch Jimmy Fallon because we watched that every night before bed, while she settled in at our feet. The show that was playing on tv the night she passed was Keeping Up with the Kardashians and I can barely even turn the channel to E! We did try and watch what we thought was a funny movie last night, but then one of the main characters reveled she had cancer and we had to turn it off!

I have highs and lows all day. The afternoons are the worst so far when I have to come home and not see her in the nursery, sleeping next to the crib. I just don't know what to do. I feel so helpless. :-( 
Jacquinoelle
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saraherichey
Jacquinoelle, I am really struggling with the decision to put something on Facebook or not. I fear it will make me feel worse. My mom is saying we should since everyone loved Berkley and he was such a unique and funny dog, but I just don't feel comfortable yet. We have informed our closest friends who have shared their love, and all of our family knows...I guess I just fear someone will write asking why we haven't posted any funny pictures of Berkley lately and I won't know what to say...

I work from home, so it's really difficult when I come back from the grocery store or step out of the shower, and he's not there...I was used to him sleeping and snoring at my feet all day long, and then all night. It's so quiet. My husband went back to work for the first time today and I feel so empty and alone. It's maddening. 
Sarah Richey
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Julia_Loves_McCartney
jacquinoelle wrote:
The point is that I don't know how to heal yet? I am trying everything everyone suggests to me and I am met with only momentary relief.


Jacquinoelle,

I posted a topic called "Ideas for Coping" the other day. Looks like it got bumped to page two of the forum. It's a list of things you can do to help heal, keep you busy, and remember your pet fondly. Maybe it would help if you checked it out.

~I love you eternally, McCartney boy~

You can visit my kitty McCartney's Rainbow Bridge Memorial here: http://www.rainbowbridge.com/residents/MCCAR001/Resident.htm

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saraherichey
How is everyone feeling today? I woke up and didn't immediately cry, and even felt guilty for that. I know mourning the loss is different for everyone, but I am still unable to talk to people at work or friends without breaking down. I look like a hot mess, but no energy to do anything about it.
Sarah Richey
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jacquinoelle
I woke up this morning again, feeling how surreal it was that Bob wasn't sleeping at my feet. But I didn't cry for the first time in four mornings. We are going home to see our family today - we can't stay home this weekend because it's just too hard. However, seeing our family might be hard, too. I know I am going to break down when I see my brother-in-law. It was his ex-girlfriend who gave us Bob in the first place because he was her "replacement" dog after her dog passed from cancer and she couldn't take care of her anymore. Anyway, I feel like I have a lot to do today and hopefully I will be distracted and won't cry. We'll see...
Jacquinoelle
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