Rockerchick
My beautiful 2 1/2 year old Torti, Patches, suddenly passed away on the way to the emergency vet :(

I noticed she was breathing a little heavier then usual the past few days. But, I didn't think much of it because she always breathed heavily while purring. Last night I noticed she just wasn't herself. Breathing heavily while just lying there, with her mouth opened. She loved to be picked up and held and when I did so, she meowed at me and immediately wanted down. I knew something wasn't right. So I called the emergency vet and they suggested bringing her in. She was meowing a lot and thrashing in the carrier when she's normally very calm for the ride. After about 10 minutes in the car, she knocked the carrier down off the seat beside me and when I put it back up she was no longer meowing or moving. I quickly unzipped the carrier to find she wasn't breathing. The emergency vet is 30 minutes from my house so I knew time wasn't on my side. 

I'm still a wreck. Hysterical. Heartbroken.

I have never experienced loss of a pet through death before. And neither has my 5 year old son. So that makes the situation even more painful. She was so young and I can't help but blame myself. If only I didn't dismiss the breathing as her "norm." If only the vet would have noticed something 2 months back when I took her in for a check up. It all happened so fast...

Our bond was very strong because we had her since she was first born. Her and her brother both. I can't help but worry now if I'll have to experience the same pain with him. And how he's feeling. If he knows something is wrong.

patchy cherry collar.jpg 
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Katel
Dear Rockerchick

I'm so very sorry to hear about the loss of your beautiful Patches, no age is the right age but
2 1/2 years is so very young.  Do they know why she died like that?  

Please don't blame yourself,   we are not vets and can't be expected to diagnose what is wrong
with out pets and as you say it wasn't unusual for her to breath heavily. 

this has been a terrible shock for you and your son and you must be in anguish, but as I said
please don't let blame come into it, it was impossible for you to know. And probably when you took her to the vet 2 months ago there was no sign of whatever caused this.  Illness can come to our
pets suddenly and sometimes with very little warning. 

My heart reaches out to you and your son at this terrible time and all I can say is please keep writing here and telling us more about your lovely torti and maybe if you feel like it let us see
a picture of her.

Blessings. 

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Bellamum

My heart goes out to you after saying goodbye to your sweet Patches.  I know how devastated and heartbroken you are feeling.  This pain of loss is so deep because we love our dear companions so much.

Please do not blame yourself.  We can not foresee things that are about to happen.  We do the best we can possibly do for our babies.  Patches knows that you love her and she knows that everything you did was for her.  She will remember the life full of love, security and happiness that you gave her.  Torturing yourself with "What if" and "If only" will make this grief so much harder to deal with.  I know from experience because I did just that for weeks and weeks and weeks after we said goodbye to our gorgeous beagle, Bella, 15 weeks and 2 days ago. 

Eventually, I let go of the guilt and blame and came to accept that I did my best and everything I did was out of pure love and devotion to Bella.  I would have loved it to have a different ending, but I can not change that.  Now I try to keep my focus on how much I love her and how absolutely privileged I feel to have been chosen to be her mum.  I was so lucky and so were you.  Even though you only had 2 1/2 years with dear Patches, I know that you would not trade that for anything.  Not even if it would take away this pain.  Our lives are made so much richer for having had Patches and Bella by our sides.

Love her brother and cherish the time you have with him....we all know, no matter how long we have them it is never enough time.  Yes, you will experience pain and grief when you lose him too, but you will have a blessed life with him first.  Enjoy that life with him.

I wish you peace and healing.
Take care.

Karen
(Bella, Charli and Buddy's very lucky mum)

My gorgeous girl, Bella  26/07/2004 - 03/04/2014
"You were once by our side, but you will be forever in our hearts. Until we meet again baby girl."
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Rockerchick
Thank you Katel and BellaMum for the support.

The vet or tech, whichever it was who came into the room to tell me resuscitation efforts weren't working, said it may have been an underlying heart problem. Even something minor. Maybe she threw a blood clot or maybe the difficulty in breathing along with the heart problem just became too much on her little body. One woman on the website Etsy said it may have been conjunctive heart failure - which I looked up and it seems probable. Although it said it's more common is cats ages 5 or older. Unfortunately since she was so scared and uncomfortable when I went to take her to the vet, she bit my thumb very hard, enough to draw blood, and in my moments of despair at the vets office it never even crossed my mind that when they heard that they'd need to do rabies testing on her as well. It kills me to know she's being violated like that after her untimely and painful passing.


That's what's so hard...she was just so young and this was so unexpected. I thought her and her brother would be a pair that lived to 20+. They were basically growing up with my son and we imagined him going off to college and us still having these 2 with us. I love her little brother dearly and will definitely cherish every second I have with him. I attached some photos of Patches from newborn to a few months ago.
patchy baby edit.jpg 
patchy batcave.jpg 
patchy smile.jpg 
gorgeous girl.jpg 

  patchy cherry collar.jpg 
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Katel
Dear Rockerchick

Thanks for sharing the photos of your very beautiful Patch,  she had the loveliest
colouring you don't see colouring like that on many kitties. She reminds me of my 
beautiful torti Rudi who passed 2 years ago.  I agree it is so very unfair
that you lost her at such an early age when you expected to see her live to a
ripe old age as cats often do.  Oh my goodness I just saw you were online to chat as I'm writing this but when I tried to respond you had gone.  I'm not too sure how to work the chat thing so must
have a good look. 

Do you have photos of her brother and how old is he?  I love the Batcave Patch had and I can see
that she was a very loved girl.

My thoughts are truly with you and your son right now as you go through this anguish,.

Blessings

Kate 

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MonkeysMama

What a gorgeous girl, wow. 

I just wanted to reach out. Send my love and tell you I am so genuinely sorry for your loss and for how it happened.

I cannot imagine driving to the ER and my baby die on the way. I am so sorry. My heart hurts for you.

I am sending to you all of the love my recently broken heart can muster.

Please know you are not alone.

This is the best place for you to be and every single one of us is here to listen and be there for you.

I'm so sorry.

Sending my love,
Angelena

Monkey
April 1st, 2011 - June 7th, 2014
Rest in peace my sweet baby boy, I can't wait to see you again.
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