Faceinyou
Please let me say I view all pet loss as terribly painful. Now I have had both types . One of my dogs died from an illness and one last week from car going too fast not only near a school but in a residential area. Still it won’t bring my baby back. It was after school hours and prime time traffic 530pm.

Is there a difference when a pet is killed so suddenly (ie by a car) as opposed to an illness whether also sudden? It’s all terrible . My life was complicated with health issues and ironically my dog that just past was a part of my recovery . He also was part of future rehabilitation for my heart . Some walking and exercise. He needed it also. My wife and I are in disagreement about getting another dog (not as a replacement and it is way too soon). She has a huge amount of reasons why a dog is bad for her and I have many reasons why a dog would be great for me. Wow this is super complicated and could lead to more loss than my dog. I am so over the top with grief that I’m staying away from all decisions at the moment other than my health and grief. My personal relationships have to take back seat for me to even go through a single day. My wife has 4 children I raised (I’m a step-dad). They are all grown up now and she has a new grandson on the way.
Me I had my baby dog... he was like a child to me. His sudden death is earth shattering . My wife doesn’t understand the magnitude of loss I’m going through and I suppose I really can’t and dint expect her to. She has her 4 babies.
Has anyone here experienced anything even remotely absurd and painful with losing a pet like this. Once again I’m not invalidating or minimizing any pet loss as I have come to understand with now the loss of two pets in the last 5 years that pet loss is as painful if not as much as the loss of a human family member. I’ve lost my parents brother sister and have 1 brother left. That’s it. I had my dog but now he’s physically gone.

I can’t afford co-pays for countless therapy sessions and I sure could use some. I already got the sliding scale and even that was too much. Wow this sucks bad. Anyone ? I appreciate any and all responses. I know I can’t be the only person with multiple complications and pet loss. Oh my I miss my baby dog. He was 4 yrs old and the love of my life. Wew....I lost my other dog in 2015 after 14 years and it was really super painful but this is worse to say the least . Much worse.
Toby’s Dad
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nosunshine36
Jon, You have my deepest sympathy.
Losing a sweet little boy like yours so suddenly is so very painful.
I went back and read your other posts and I saw how close you became to this little 4 year old dog who was originally I believe your son’s dog.
This was so unexpected and so tragic and so traumatic to see him die in front of you. It’s understandable that you are in so much pain. The unfairness of it is hard to bear.
There are no easy answers unfortunately. Grieving is necessary and as time goes by it will get better but you’ll always carry that love with you.
With your other dog who saw you through so much you at least had some closure because he was sick and you had to do what was necessary so he didn’t suffer as painful as that was - but this was a freak accident with no rhyme or reason. So heartbreaking!
Please write an update on how you’re doing. Take Care.
Blessings,
Sharon
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Faceinyou
nosunshine36 wrote:
Jon, You have my deepest sympathy.
Losing a sweet little boy like yours so suddenly is so very painful.
I went back and read your other posts and I saw how close you became to this little 4 year old dog who was originally I believe your son’s dog.
This was so unexpected and so tragic and so traumatic to see him die in front of you. It’s understandable that you are in so much pain. The unfairness of it is hard to bear.
There are no easy answers unfortunately. Grieving is necessary and as time goes by it will get better but you’ll always carry that love with you.
With your other dog who saw you through so much you at least had some closure because he was sick and you had to do what was necessary so he didn’t suffer as painful as that was - but this was a freak accident with no rhyme or reason. So heartbreaking!
Please write an update on how you’re doing. Take Care.
Blessings,
Sharon


Sharon thank you,
A freak accident for sure and when I rounded the corner on foot after Toby got out of the leash I saw a few people standing there ....I was pretty happy thinking oh wow they got Toby in their arms ...wew he’s safe.,,he would get loose sometimes and trust anyone ...he’d be safe in their arms....but as I got closer an “oh no”feeling deep in my gut and the expressions on faces...I look down and he’s down on his side and blood. I could tell but my gut told me he was gone or almost gone because of the silent stillness ...I was paralyzed in fear and heartbreak ...my worst nightmare come true.! His heartbeat lessening no time to get anywhere and I was on foot. Everyone crying ...he passed within a few minutes .

You see I’ve lost hope and I have to be honest with myself and my reality . I had a recent heart blockage...I lived through it ..
prior Toby had needed to be walked and so did I ...
we were making a new start .my second chance to live with my baby and spend more needed time ...he was literally like my baby boy child...I wanted to live when I was in the hospital because I new that little boy needed me. He would be so upset without me so I prayed I’d live to see and be with him again.

So off to the dog park last wed for the first time. Out to the car on his leash ..he’d never gotten outta this particular leash but other ones yes..little Houdini dog. All of a sudden the leash was empty and Toby ran ...paused looked at me and I screamed please Toby come back...let’s go to the park...He turned the corner and I never saw him alive again.

My world is crushed without him. As I’ve mentioned in previous posts about Toby I’ve lost my parents at an early age, my brother and sister ...my other dog of 14 years ...but this has been the worst loss.
My hopes and dreams for my baby and me gone. He and I had that bond that comes along if your lucky ...he was only 4 and coming into that wonderful maturity. He and I nurtured each other and took care of each other....without a word ever spoken between us. I miss him...it’s just too much sometimes ...it just is..I go about my days but it’s not so good. I’ll try to exercise and be positive but i currently feel I’d rather just move on sooner than later if there’s a rainbow bridge to be with him and if There’s not I won’t have to miss him and he won’t have to miss me. I sure hope I’ll change my wordless grief and sorrow and cope better but I’m strongly doubting that will happen . Sometimes things can just be too
Much....too
Much to move past through ...not everything can be overcome ...I love you Toby my dog ...my son

Toby’s Dad
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nosunshine36
Hi again Jon,
I have tears in my eyes having read the above post.
To be feeling relieved thinking that people had Toby in their arms only to see that he wasn’t safe and had been hit. So devastating!!!
It seems strange to me that he got out of “this’ leash at that exact moment and then he had to leave. 😔
I’ve always been a believer in things happening for a reason but this is a hard one! While I feel like Toby was sent to help you through your other grief over all the losses and your other dog who you loved so much it’s hard to understand why he was taken so suddenly and at such a young age.
I’m glad you’re continuing to exercise and it’s good to continue to post here so you can get support which is something you desperately need right now.
I’ll be thinking about you and Toby and this awful tragedy.

Blessings Jon!

Sharon
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Faceinyou
nosunshine36 wrote:
Hi again Jon,
I have tears in my eyes having read the above post.
To be feeling relieved thinking that people had Toby in their arms only to see that he wasn’t safe and had been hit. So devastating!!!
It seems strange to me that he got out of “this’ leash at that exact moment and then he had to leave. 😔
I’ve always been a believer in things happening for a reason but this is a hard one! While I feel like Toby was sent to help you through your other grief over all the losses and your other dog who you loved so much it’s hard to understand why he was taken so suddenly and at such a young age.
I’m glad you’re continuing to exercise and it’s good to continue to post here so you can get support which is something you desperately need right now.
I’ll be thinking about you and Toby and this awful tragedy.

Blessings Jon!

Sharon

Thank you I really need that. I keep blaming myself like I let the collar leash slack and he got away/all my fault....
he was a Houdini dog.....no doubt
.I’d tell everyone we’d met ...hey what kinda harness ? I’ve tried like 5 at least ....I went to the pet store and tried alot of harnesses
couldn’t get him to stay in one...of course I’d try it out in the backyard first...
I resolved he’s a Houdini dog....I asked the pet stores what to do so I think I feel that I did ok....coulda done better (of course 4 nights ago I’m in a regular market and I see a dog ...not like Toby but with a leather harness...never even crossed my mind he might have needed a custom built one like this leather one...too late this was after Toby died...like another bad joke in the universe...right there a harness I’d never seen or thought about ...more guilt...

Back in time ....finally a neighbor said look it’s not cruel to use a soft choker to train him...so I did . It worked i tugged him just enough I didn’t wanna hurt him but I didn’t want him to escape me

....hence the going to the dog park to try and calm him/tame him let him run free with other doggies..he was wild but not crazy...well on our way was his last night alive...I just wanna cry...I shoulda yanked him really hard ...but he never got outta the soft choker ever..so why all of a sudden it was weightless ...and then he ran....I was worried and rightfully so...but he’d always come back safely ...he looked at me one last time and headed to the next street me in pursuit
I shoulda taken him for classes no doubt.... that I can never live down ...how foolish...I must have been too lax because he never got out...he was super excited that I can say...I had waited to long to take him for a walk ...on the other hand I was walking him more often...particularly to the front area so he’d always know the smell to come home if he got out...

one time he got out by banging his paw against the gate which was latched ...until it kinda undone itself..smart dog he was ....i got him back and immediately used a strong bungee to avoid having to worry again....of course my son who is 24 despite me telling him make sure you latch the bungee after you take the trash can out and in....he didn’t ....
Toby got away and then ran into someone’s arms....one time he ran out the front door and I was right there outside....it was my fault my door warps in the summer and is harder to close ..thought it was closed
....well i saw him as I was just outside the door watering the front lawn and he hadn’t started to run but could have ....I yelled hey Toby hey back inside and he did.....if I only ...oh that mistake...that Houdini doggie ...my lack of more research , that car that hit him ...my baby I took him home tonight in a box (ashes) I know it’s not him but it’s a reminder of him ...I’m tryng to think of a way to have a funeral for my dogs that have passed ...I have 2 boxes...and paw prints...tobys little paw print so small ....I could just drop from the agony of losing my baby pup...sorry to ramble ...he was my baby dog and I miss kissing him so very much ...I’d pat his belly....he always wanted my attention and that he got forever
Toby’s Dad
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Faceinyou
nosunshine36 wrote:
Hi again Jon,
I have tears in my eyes having read the above post.
To be feeling relieved thinking that people had Toby in their arms only to see that he wasn’t safe and had been hit. So devastating!!!
It seems strange to me that he got out of “this’ leash at that exact moment and then he had to leave. 😔
I’ve always been a believer in things happening for a reason but this is a hard one! While I feel like Toby was sent to help you through your other grief over all the losses and your other dog who you loved so much it’s hard to understand why he was taken so suddenly and at such a young age.
I’m glad you’re continuing to exercise and it’s good to continue to post here so you can get support which is something you desperately need right now.
I’ll be thinking about you and Toby and this awful tragedy.

Blessings Jon!

Sharon


Thank you
Sharon I do need to exercise
it’s been hard to take care of my basic needs...especially since Toby passed.....when I find it hard to walk I think of Toby how he would have wanted me to be ok and walk with him ...I make up a million things about my baby to help me through the tough times some times it helps sometimes no...guess it natural. I just hope I can be with him and jasper again. I do very much beyond words
Toby’s Dad
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