Jon, You have my deepest sympathy.
Losing a sweet little boy like yours so suddenly is so very painful.
I went back and read your other posts and I saw how close you became to this little 4 year old dog who was originally I believe your son’s dog.
This was so unexpected and so tragic and so traumatic to see him die in front of you. It’s understandable that you are in so much pain. The unfairness of it is hard to bear.
There are no easy answers unfortunately. Grieving is necessary and as time goes by it will get better but you’ll always carry that love with you.
With your other dog who saw you through so much you at least had some closure because he was sick and you had to do what was necessary so he didn’t suffer as painful as that was - but this was a freak accident with no rhyme or reason. So heartbreaking!
Please write an update on how you’re doing. Take Care.
Sharon thank you,
A freak accident for sure and when I rounded the corner on foot after Toby got out of the leash I saw a few people standing there ....I was pretty happy thinking oh wow they got Toby in their arms ...wew he’s safe.,,he would get loose sometimes and trust anyone ...he’d be safe in their arms....but as I got closer an “oh no”feeling deep in my gut and the expressions on faces...I look down and he’s down on his side and blood. I could tell but my gut told me he was gone or almost gone because of the silent stillness ...I was paralyzed in fear and heartbreak ...my worst nightmare come true.! His heartbeat lessening no time to get anywhere and I was on foot. Everyone crying ...he passed within a few minutes .
You see I’ve lost hope and I have to be honest with myself and my reality . I had a recent heart blockage...I lived through it ..
prior Toby had needed to be walked and so did I ...
we were making a new start .my second chance to live with my baby and spend more needed time ...he was literally like my baby boy child...I wanted to live when I was in the hospital because I new that little boy needed me. He would be so upset without me so I prayed I’d live to see and be with him again.
So off to the dog park last wed for the first time. Out to the car on his leash ..he’d never gotten outta this particular leash but other ones yes..little Houdini dog. All of a sudden the leash was empty and Toby ran ...paused looked at me and I screamed please Toby come back...let’s go to the park...He turned the corner and I never saw him alive again.
My world is crushed without him. As I’ve mentioned in previous posts about Toby I’ve lost my parents at an early age, my brother and sister ...my other dog of 14 years ...but this has been the worst loss.
My hopes and dreams for my baby and me gone. He and I had that bond that comes along if your lucky ...he was only 4 and coming into that wonderful maturity. He and I nurtured each other and took care of each other....without a word ever spoken between us. I miss him...it’s just too much sometimes ...it just is..I go about my days but it’s not so good. I’ll try to exercise and be positive but i currently feel I’d rather just move on sooner than later if there’s a rainbow bridge to be with him and if There’s not I won’t have to miss him and he won’t have to miss me. I sure hope I’ll change my wordless grief and sorrow and cope better but I’m strongly doubting that will happen . Sometimes things can just be too
Much to move past through ...not everything can be overcome ...I love you Toby my dog ...my son