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Reply with quote  #46 
Awe I know. I at least had over 2 good months with my Henry from when he was diagnosed with cancer
But I still question God's actions as to why this good little unassuming cat was chosen to be given this horrible dreadful sickness. Wasn't it enough that his mother had abandoned the litter just after birth walking away from them never to return?
Why did he have to pick on poor little Henry who was such a good good boy?
I don't know. The other day that thought was racing through my mind and the 'anger' portion of grief apparently reared it's ugly head and I punched the wall. No hole..just hurt my hand lol.
But yes there is a degree of anger toward God I guess since it just seems so unfair.
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elliemae

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Reply with quote  #47 
shanamylove this site is wonderful isnt it?  Makes us much less alone.  Believe me i tell myself all the time that Napoleon would not want me to be upset sometimes it works sometimes it doesnt.  I try so hard for Elliemae cos I know she misses him and doesnt like when Im upset - what a pickle huh?  But as you said and I hope every else listens it DOES GET A BIT BETTER WITH TIME
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elizabeth a. cannon
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Reply with quote  #48 
Elliemae,
I try so hard to realize that Henry wouldn't want me to be sad. He was such a comforting cat. He surely didn't like long faces.
As you mentioned sometimes it works and sometimes not. Mostly not.
Yesterday and today (the weekend) have been dreadful for me. It's only been a little over a week since I had to say goodbye but so far these past 2 days have been the worst. Did you find any solace whatsoever in the first week because I can't imagine feeling any other way even in a year from now. Right now if I were to win 20 million in the lottery it couldn't bring a smile to my face😔😔😔😔
It must be so very hard for yourself trying to be strong and have a brave face for your Elliemae. Thank God you have her for comfort but yes keeping a brave face for HER comfort is indeed a pickle. A double edged sword so to speak.
My heart goes out to you so very much.

Hugs galore
Carol
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Shanamylove

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Reply with quote  #49 
Elliemae, 155
Good morning. I'm no expert in grief therapy but it does and it will get easier. I know you cannot see that now because the loss is too new. When Shana first passes, I thought I was going to die. I had never experienced such emotional pain in my life . Coming home wS more of a burden because I could smell and see her everywhere . At the same time I couldn't wait to get home so I could curl up and cry my eyeballs out. I have left everything the same way Shana left it. Her feeding bowls are still in the kitchen, I haven't removed any of her dog beds which are big because she was a big girl (70lbs), I haven't even washed my blankets since before November 29 because they still smell like her. (Don't judge me please, I will eventually wash them) hahaha. I'm saying all this to say that when we are ready we will do these things on our own. It's ok to cry. Why wouldn't we, we loved the heck out of them!! And in turn they loved us. But everyday it will get just a teeny tiny bit easier. One of the things that is hard for me is seeing other people walking with their big dogs. I get choked up. I almost resent them but that's only because I miss mine. I can thankfully say that I have been "cry free" for a few days. Not that I'm over it because I don't ever think we get over it, we just learn to cope and try to get back to normalcy. Try and stay strong and please let's continue to support each other . And if you need to cry, then let it out I say!!

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Lillymylove

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Reply with quote  #50 
God!!! Really I’m sorry but if there was a god why would he or she make there gorgeous little innocent fur babies suffer answer me that!
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elliemae

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Reply with quote  #51 
believe me lillymylove I have questioned the justice in all of this too.  And I too have been very angry with God.
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elizabeth a. cannon
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Flowerbed

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Reply with quote  #52 
Hi
I am so very sorry for your loss
It is never easy ... take each day even each hour as it comes and look after yourself ... I hope you have a good support system x
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Reply with quote  #53 
Quote:
Originally Posted by elliemae
Thanks for the kind words Carol.  I wish I could ease your grief but unfortunately I cannot just take comfort in knowing it cant get any worse.   Thats what I did when I felt really terrible.  I have a friend who has been a ROCK to me throughout this ordeal; she lost her cat suddenly, unfortunately at the time I could not fully understand what she was going through of course now i do.  BUT she has told me and it has been true - that I will have bad days, better days and EVENTUALLY good days.  No good days yet, but yes better days.  Your grief is very fresh and its an awful feeling - just keep as busy as possible but cry all you want too.  It helps.  And try to be around and talk to people who understand your loss and love for your kitty - I spent Christmas at home crying cos I didnt want to be around people thinking im nuts "he was just a dog".  They just dont understand!  But I do so please feel free to email me anytime you are helping me too.
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155

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Reply with quote  #54 
Elliemae...
You're very welcome. Thanks for all you said. It really helps tremendously. It really does!

I know you understand and that is wonderful to me.
You email me also anytime!
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155

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Reply with quote  #55 
Shanamylove..
I am so very happy for you that you're feeling better!
You keep going strong!
Carol
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Shanamylove

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Reply with quote  #56 
Lillymylove
I wish I had that answer. I ask myself and God everyday why he took Shana away from me? I try to reason and tell him that he didn't need her because I'm sure there are many other pets but of course I get no answer. One day when I'm dead I'm sure I will know the answer. Until then, all I and all of us can do is try to honor their memories and thank God for putting them in our lives . Believe me when I tell you that I am very angry with/ at God for taken her away

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elliemae

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Reply with quote  #57 
you know since Napoleon died last month I have tried desperately to search for answers as to "why" and have come up empty.  However, I have been holding onto quotes from old movies the other side of the mountain for example - the last time Jill saw Dick Buik he said to her "how lucky I am to have loved somebody - or something - that saying goodbye to is so damned awful".  I guess what I am saying is that I wouldnt trade one minute of the time I had with him for anything.  I will always love and miss him but he will live on in my heart and in my memory.


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elizabeth a. cannon
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elliemae

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Reply with quote  #58 
oh and also the thorn birds - after the fire on Drogheda in which her father and beloved brother Stuey both die - Meggie rails against God to Father Ralph.  And he replies that God sent the rain that doused the fire - and Meggie, taken aback, looks at him and says "Oh Ralph, but who started the fire?".  Such a double edged sword this life.....
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Shanamylove

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Reply with quote  #59 
Ellimae,
How right you are... At this point I'm just grateful for my 9 1/2 years with my Shana. We will truly never get the answers we seek as to why they died. I think to myself, well why wouldn't Shana die? I mean, we're going to die also? Everything that has life will eventually die. I'm just happy to have been loved by her and cannot wait to see her again.

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Millie
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Shanamylove

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Reply with quote  #60 
Hello
How is everyone doing? I hope all of us are feeling better. I am happy to report that I have been "cry free" a little over a week, thank goodness. At times my grief was so great so unbearable that I thought I was going to die. At imes I even welcomed death just to be with her. I laid in her bed last night just to smell her and feel her near. I am actually considering removing her feeding bowls from the kitchen. Her empty water bowl does an optical illusion on me whenever I pass by. I'm always inclined to fill it with water then I quickly am reminded that she is gone. Ughhh.... I guess only the passage of time can help.

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Millie
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