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lorrae22

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Reply with quote  #1 
Hello! So, we have 3 Dachshunds. One that is 12, one 10 and one 8. We left on the 23rd of December to go to Florida to see my father-in-law for Christmas. We were supposed to come home on the 28th but postponed a day because he wasn't doing so well. While we were gone my parents watched our dogs. Said all was well. They were acting fine. The could tell they were lost without us, but just fine. We finally made it home the morning of the 30th around 1:30 am. We got to see the dogs for maybe an hour before we went to bed. I got up at 7:00 am to feed the dogs as usual and let them outside to go potty. My middle dog, Daisy, went out just fine but wouldn't come in. She just sat there looking at me. I went out and tried to lift her bottom to see if she could hold her weight but she just sat down again. I finally had to go get her and bring her inside. I placed her on a blanket on the couch and feed the other two dogs. I then went to sit with her, watch her, wait to see if anything happened. All of the sudden her breathing became labored and her stomach was really bloated. I got dressed and rushed her to the emergency vet. She is usually very crazy in the car. Running back and forth, pooping, wining, etc. From the moment I set her in the front seat she just lay there with her head down. We were almost at the vet and she turned her head and looked at me for just a few moments the lay her head down again. They took her right back to look her over and the vet told me she was brain dead. A few minutes later, the vet returned and said that she had died. I was in complete shock! I didn't even get to spend time with her! Thing is, she was my shadow for the last 10 years! I see her everywhere I go. She would be waiting outside my daughters door after I put her to bed. She would go to bed with me. Sit on the couch for me. Everywhere! I just can't seem to quit crying! My husband said he feels sad too but that I should move on. Don't let this stand in my everyday life. I just want to lay in bed and cry! I'm not sure what to do?
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Dawn L Johnson
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Mybeautifulboy

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Reply with quote  #2 
Hi Dawn, I am very sorry to hear about Daisy. I am sure that she knew that you loved her and that you were doing everything that you could to get her some help. I am sad that it turned out the way that it did. Did the vet say what they think happened with her?

I had 3 dachshunds as well, two 13 year olds and a twelve year old. One of of 13 year olds started acting like he did not feel well in November and I called our mobile vet to come to the house to see him the week after Thanksgiving. She diagnosed a UTI and told me to get him into the clinic for bloodwork and an X-ray to see if he had stones. He did fine with the blood draw but had a seizure and died while getting the X-ray. I think that the fact that he died so suddenly is what makes it so hard to understand.The pathology report shows that he died of a massive blood clot, but he also had several other things going on that I had no idea that he had. I absolutely feel so guilty and pray that he forgives me for not knowing that he was so sick.

I just want you to know that there are many here on this forum that are going through the same thing that you are and many of us are still grieving. It has been just a little over a month since I lost Bosco and I still cry everyday. My husband is also confused on what to do to help me. He has work to keep him busy, but I am a stay at home doggy mom.

Please take care of yourself.
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Nursegoins

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Reply with quote  #3 
I’m so sorry for your loss. We lost our sweet Daisy recently as well. I don’t have any advise as I can’t stop crying either. But know that you’re not alone. My husband told me I should cheer up just hours after she passed.
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Laurat86

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Reply with quote  #4 
I'm so sorry for your loss, its so hard losing your baby so suddenly. I lost my little boy on 20th December and it all happened so quickly too. He was only 5 and I am still really struggling with grief and anger at feeling robbed of more time with him.
I don't think it's fair to ask you to 'cheer up' or 'move on', they might not be our biological children but they are babies we choose to love, feed and grow with. They are a massive part of the family, as you say my dog was also my shadow and would follow me everywhere. I miss his face popping up everywhere I go and trying to sit on me like he was a little dog when he weighed a ton.
I would say to just cry when you feel you need to and remember Daisy was happy and loved and she loved you.
You will meet her again one day and she will be sat waiting for you xx
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Shanamylove

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Reply with quote  #5 
I am so sorry for the loss of your beloved pet. I lost my beautiful Doberman Shana November 29, 2018. She got up in the morning and I let her out as normal and I fed her. My son and I left the house to run an errand or 40 minutes. That's it , 40 minutes. When I came back I found her collapsed on the hallway floor dead. I was devastated. She had not been sick. She was a very healthy 10-year-old dog. The only thing I noticed that morning was that she was drinking a lot of water. It has been a little over a month and I am totally devastated and without consolation. I have a 10-year-old miniature pincher but it's not the same. Shana was my girl. She was my everything. Where ever I walked she followed me. She was always there. I just realize that for the first time in 9 1/2 years I have my own bedroom. She was also my roommate because we slept together. The house is so quiet without her. I will forever live with the guilt of not being there for her when she passed. Although I may not have been able to do anything, I would have at least wanted to hold her and tell her how much I loved her. Her remains sit an a wooden box with a gold name plate on top of my dresser. Every day I cry for my sweet girl. I look forward to the day when I die just to be reunited with her. I understand your grief over your pet because I feel the same way. I have never felt this way about any human ever. I long to be with my girl. Nothing else matters to me anymore.
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Millie
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lorrae22

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Reply with quote  #6 
The vet said she was brain dead when we got there and her body just took a little time to catch up. Maybe a tumor. They don't really know and I wanted her whole. My 3 year old keeps asking where Daisy is and that only makes it harder because she doesn't understand. As I cry while writing this. I am so sorry for all your losses! I never knew it could hurt so bad! I feel like I can't breathe sometimes! I just miss her!
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Dawn L Johnson
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Shanamylove

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Reply with quote  #7 
Yes, I never knew the loss of a pet could hurt so much. It's almost like losing a human. I have never lost anyone close to me that lived in my home with me perhaps that is why this hurts so bad. But I don't think so. Especially when they die suddenly without warning. Shana wasn't even sick so I have absolutely no closure or clue as to why she died. The vet said that most likely she had a heart attack due to cardiomyopathy which is prevalent in for Doberman breed, but I don't know and will never know for sure. That also pains me even more. I am riddled with guilt that if perhaps I had gotten her a certain shots or taking her to the vet more frequently they could have caught it and at least giving my baby a few more years. I will never know. If feels like it will not get easier over time.
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Millie
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lorrae22

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Reply with quote  #8 
Shanamylove; you're right, it doesn't feel like it will get better with time. Everyone keeps telling me that and to move, do something, but I just can't stop thinking about Daisy! It has only been 4 days and I feel like I should greive as much as I want! There is a little more to my story: I had postpartum depression really bad and struggle with it every day! Everyone thinks I am going to go down that hole again and it will be even harder to get out of. I just miss my Daisy!
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Dawn L Johnson
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EevaTeddy

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Reply with quote  #9 
I, too, am so sorry for your loss.

I hope that you are able to embrace your grief. It's important to walk the many stages of grief. It will come in waves. I hope you can speak to those in your life that you are grieving and that you will do it in your own way on your own time and that you wish for their support, space and understanding.

Please take it easy on yourself. 

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i see you in my dream my sweet little boy
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Shanamylove

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Reply with quote  #10 
Lorrae22 and EevaTeddy

I am so sorry for your loss. I know that' sounds repetitious but only we understand the pain associated with this kind of loss. I say embrace the loss embrace the grief. It is ours. But I do pray that every day will get just a little bit easier. I have moments when I feel I'm OK, then other times I break down uncontrollably. It's hard to even sleep. I stay up and I visually look for her although I know she's not there. I tried to listening for a sign of her because I have been told that if I am still I will hear something like her nails on the floor or some other sound. The only thing that has happened was that on Sunday I had a dream with her. Although I cannot recall the dream I woke up for that brief moment feeling her near me and feeling happy. I felt love and her love for me. The moment I realized it was a dream my tears started falling down again. I try to put myself in people's shoes who have lost a child like my mom. My brother was 13 when he died. My mom reminded me that I can get over this since she has had to deal with the loss of a child which is much greater. I know what she means but comments like that seem so insensitive and inconsiderate to me. Again thank God for this forum. Let's continue to reach out to each other and support one another.

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Millie
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Shanamylove

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Reply with quote  #11 
EevaTeddy

Being here and communicating with people that have had this loss actually has helped. I know I am not alone and I know that there are other people who understand. Many people who have not had a loss like this or that are not animal lovers don't understand this kind of grief. I'm doing the only thing I can do is to take it one day at a time but it is difficult. I miss her every moment. Coming here is my real only outlet, I think friends really don't know what to say I don't want to hear it anymore. And I know that there is nothing anyone can say, this truly is a case of time helping although I don't think I will ever move on. The word moving on in general sounds so disrespectful. Her memories and the love we shared and we can live in my heart and that always be in my home.

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Millie
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Adv2112

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Reply with quote  #12 
I am so sorry for your loss. I keep replaying events and trying to find answers myself. Big hugs, as I know it probably still feels like a fresh wound to your heart right now.
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lorrae22

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Reply with quote  #13 
Thank you everyone. I am doing a little better. We chose to have her privately cremated. So, I didn't know what to expect when she came back. Never had to do this before. When I went to pick her up they gave me a rectangular blue box. I had no idea how she was. Was there just a bag? It took me a few minutes to even pick up the box to go home! When I got home I asked my husband to please get her out of the car and open the box because I didn't want to be surprised by something I didn't want to see! It was all good! They put her remains in a nice dark wood box that was unopenable unless you wanted to unscrew it. There was also a little blue pouch. I knew they would take her foot print, so I knew that was in there. They also included a sympathy card and a pouch of seeds, in case you wanted to plant some flowers. The one thing I wasn't expecting was a little bag filled with some of her hair. I dropped it and completely lost it!!! I didn't need to see that! It made all the initial feeling come forward again and I told my husband to get it out of the house! It was terrible!

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Dawn L Johnson
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Adv2112

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Reply with quote  #14 
Awwwwww :( im so sorry...... i went to take a nap from exhausted from all of the crying and went to lay in a different bed than mine and there was cat hair all over the corner of it.....:( i lost it cried hysterically. Thank you for the post. It may have prepared me because we are having our Leo cat cremated too.
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Shanamylove

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Reply with quote  #15 
Adv2112
I know exactly what you mean. As disgusting as this may sound I have not washed the blankets on my bed since at least November 28. My precious girl slept on the bed with me and it still smells of her. I am afraid if I wash my my blankets her smell will go away. I don't know when I will be ready to wash my blankets. And honestly, I really don't care. If I have to sleep with them for the whole year then I will. Smelling her on my bed makes me feel like I have her close to me. Although I will say that the smell of her is diminishing. I have also left her water and food bowls exactly the way she left them that dreadful morning. The water has evaporated already. However there are still a few pebbles of food left exactly how she left it. I also will not be removing that until I am ready. This process from what I see will take a while. No need to rush anything.

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Millie
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