bri
Three days ago my 3 year old furbaby named Misto Kitty passed away. 

I feel like there is a hole in my chest and I can't believe he's really gone. He was a healthy, energetic, happy cat. It was so sudden.

My husband and I were traveling to my parent's home for the holidays and since we were going to be gone for 2 weeks, we brought our two babies with us. Since the trip is 6 hours long, we gave them both sedatives prescribed to them by the vet. We gave them the pills about 30 min before leaving and tucked them into the carriers.

They've made this trip at least 3 times already on the same medication. They've always been completely fine. 

However, this time... about 5 hours into the drive I asked my husband to check on Misto because I hadn't heard meowing in awhile (Misto didn't handle car rides very well). My husband was unable to wake him. He had died right there in the carrier.

The horror of trying to shake his little body awake will haunt me forever. He looked so peaceful, laying in his preferred sleeping position... at least I know he went peacefully.

I am devastated. I loved him so much. He was my buddy. I didn't think it was possible to hurt this bad.

I don't know what happened. I looked up the dose suggestions to be sure, and he was well under the dose recommendation for his body weight... he even shared a pill with the other cat who is completely fine. Misto gets an extra quarter pill because he is a bit bigger and, in the past, didn't seem as affected by the sedatives as the other cat. The pills did expire in 2009, but from what I can tell, that would only make them less potent.

I keep blaming myself. I feel like it is my fault he is dead. Even though I know I gave him the right dose, he died because of those pills... I just know it.

I did some research and could it be possible he had an underlying health condition and the pills and the ride just proved too much? I just don't know... and I suppose I never will. They had been to the vet for all of their shots and had been looked over... but maybe they missed something?

I can't imagine a life without the little guy. I keep expecting to see him trotting down the hall towards me with his tail swishing... I don't know what i'll do without him.

Thank you for listening... if anyone has experienced anything like this, please share. I'm desperate for more information.

----

I'll miss you Misto... you made every day so much brighter. 

Taken two weeks before he died...

He always kept me company when I was working from home...

He was my big baby... he probably wasn't too happy with me at this moment.

My favorite picture of him...

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Woodypatty
I am so sorry for your loss of beautiful Misto. Though I don't have the same story as you. I was trying to do the best care for my Dog Raven and instead it ended up killing her. My heart was broken as I know yours is now. Feelings of guilt are normal and trust me I felt them, still do some times.You are not guilty.Coming to this site, reading threads and writing my own has helped me in the slow journey towards acceptance. I still write though not as often as I did those first awful weeks. There are good people here that understand your feelings. They do not judge and will help you through this terrible time.I have been told we grieve so much because we loved  and were loved so much. I think that is true. May you find some peace in this day.                                           Patty
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bri
Thank you Patty. I'm sorry for your loss as well. I will rely heavily on my other kitty and my husband to get through this. This forum helps a lot too. I don't feel so alone.
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muzckl1
I feel your pain.  I had to put one of my babies to sleep this morning, and the pain is horrible.  Hugs & prayers to you!
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Meghanm
I am so so so very sorry for the loss of Misto. Please do not blame yourself, you are already dealing with so much grief that the weight of guilt is just too heavy a load to bear. Your pictures are beautiful. I love his beautiful reddish color. I wish I had the words to help but I am not sure I do so please just know this: I am thinking of you and you are not alone.
Meghan

"If the people we love are stolen from us, the way to have them live on is to never stop loving them. Buildings burn, people die, but real love is forever." ~ The Crow

"We don't "get over" our losses and just move on, we learn to live differently."
~ http://www.angelbluemist.com/frames/guilt.html
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TxGuy

Just a note to say I am praying for you and hope you know you did nothing to blame yourself for. He was such a handsome guy!

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tikibarb
The worst part of losing one of our precious babies is the not knowing why.  I don't have any words of wisdom to help you answer this but I can tell you that is was just time for your beloved baby to go to the bridge.  I feel confident that you did nothing wrong.  Misto may have had an underlying illness which you were unaware of.  They are so good at hiding it when they are sick that they often go quickly leaving us to wonder why.  The hole in your heart will heal over time.  I know you are probably sick of hearing that but it is the best and most true advice anyone who has experienced this can offer.  The pictures you posted are so wonderful.  He was a truly beautiful baby and I am so sorry.
Barbara Lyngarkos
My Beloved Ted 8/7/2005 - 7/7/10
http://rainbowsbridge.com/residents/TED001/Resident.htm
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donnalee
Oh goodness, those pictures really made me feel it.....his personality really showed through.  I can really see what a handsome boy he was...he looks so lovable & fun.  I am so sorry and what a truly tragic & shocking way to lose him.  As you say, he never knew what happened and didn't experience any pain.  However, I know it is so painful for you.
We all understand the hole in the heart and will be here as you grieve this sad loss.  I'm very sorry this happened. 
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bri
Thank you so much everyone. He was a pretty handsome boy :).

I've been trying to keep myself very busy with family and work, but every few minutes I'll think of him and feel like I've been sucker-punched. All of the hurt comes rushing back in... but over the past few days those instances have lessened, so there is hope in that.

It will be harder when we go back to our home in a few weeks with only one carrier and walk into the apartment and see all of his favorite spots, his food dish, his water bowl and so on. 

My other kitty has been a tremendous help. Misto (the cat who passed away) used to wake me up everyone morning and for some reason Massy (the surviving cat) has taken up the role. For the past the days he's been right on my pillow asking for cuddles, waking me up for the day. It really helps with the hurt. 

Once again, thank you everyone... 
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finchgangsmom

I am so very sorry for your loss.

Finch Gangs Mom (Loren)
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Meghanm
That is really sweet that Massy has started waking you up. I think animals are much wiser than we give them credit for. And they also experience in a loss in a way that is different from ours, a way I am not sure we comprehend. I am thinking of you and wishing you the best.
Meghan

"If the people we love are stolen from us, the way to have them live on is to never stop loving them. Buildings burn, people die, but real love is forever." ~ The Crow

"We don't "get over" our losses and just move on, we learn to live differently."
~ http://www.angelbluemist.com/frames/guilt.html
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always_tuffy
Bri
There are no words to express my sorrow for your loss. He is a gorgeous cat. I know he brought you many memorable times. I know just how you are feeling. Nothing can fill that terrible hole in you life, nor pain in your heart.
I can only tell you, you will go on day after day. Day by day you will get through this, although right now you may not know how that is possible.
We are here for you. We listen, we care.

Blessings to you
Death leaves a heartache no one can heal;
Love leaves a memory no one can steal.

Tuffy, My Puppy Love
June 20, 2005-July 26, 2010

Becky Leigh, Queen of my Heart
December 2010-November 10, 2015
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tikibarb
I am very happy that Massy is helping your healing.  They are amazing animals, each in their own unique way.  Their ability to help us is mind boggling.
Barbara Lyngarkos
My Beloved Ted 8/7/2005 - 7/7/10
http://rainbowsbridge.com/residents/TED001/Resident.htm
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niki
HELLOAND I READ YOUR POST AND WANTED TO SAY HOW TRULY SORRY I AM TO HEAR ABOUT MISTO KITTY.
THE PHOTOS ARE SO BEAUTFUL.
I KNOW HOW MUCH YOU ARE HURTING,PLEASE DONT BLAME YOURSELF.
HOW IS YOUR OTHER CAT ?
I HAD TWIN SISTERS, I LOST ONE THIS YEAR CALLED MINT---SHE PASSED AWAY AGE 13 ON VALENTINES DAY.
THE HEARTACHE IS UNBEARABLE, HER TWIN HAS BEEN A HUGE COMFORT TO ME, BUT SHE HAS SUFFERED HERSELF WITH THE LOSS OF HER SISTER, THEY HAD BEEN TOGETHER SINCE BIRTH--I HAVE MADE SURE I HAVE GIVEN OCELOT ALL THE LOVE I CAN EACH AND EVERY DAY TO MAKE SURE SHE IS HAPPY, IT HAS BEEN SO HARD.
DONT BLAME YOURSELF....MISTO WILL WANT YOU TO BE HAPPY AGAIN EVEN THOUGH NOW IS A 24 HOUR NIGHTMARE.
YOU ONLY HAVE TO LOOK AT THE PHOTSO TO SEE HOW MUCH HE WAS LOVED.
HOLD HIS MEMORY IN YOUR HEART AND IT DOES GET A LITTLE EASIER, WE ALL KNOW ON HERE HOW MUCH IT HURTS TO LOSE A LOVED FUR BABY.
THINKING OF YOU
SO SORRY
NIKI
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Toho
Bri, I am so sorry to read of your loss. I myself am blaming myself partially for the passing of my baby Penelope. Even though she passed away because of kidney failure, I still thing I could have done more to have her on this earth longer. Maybe different vets, more medication, I don't know? You can't blame yourself, is was not you.

I feel your heartache. I grieve with you and feel your pain. One thing that makes me feel better on these long days is reading the Rainbow Bridge poem. I see my Penelope in heaven well, without pain, running, playing and giving me the hope that I will see her again.

Take care.
Toho
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