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MAlcindor
Hi Melissa, I am so, so happy for you. Izzie Bear is beautiful and she will no doubt keep you busy with your mommy duties. You will never forget your Rookie, he will always be your special fur baby. Congratulations on your adoption, I know how bad the heart needs a new baby to love.
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Rookiesmama
Rookie,

I'm sorry I haven't written to you on here in so long. I miss you so much-in about 5 weeks you will have been in your new home for a year. My heart and mind cannot understand how that is possible. I think about you every single day. Izzie is keeping me busy. She is 100% the opposite of you (except for desire to chase those pesky lizards!), and I'm trying to understand why you pointed me to this girl. Is it because you knew other people would march her right back into the shelter due to her puppy like habits and reactivity? Or is it because she has the cutest butt wiggle and love for her pool that just makes me laugh? Either way my sweet pupaloo, I love on her daily but think of you and say your name all the time too. Do you hear me tell Izzie to listen to you? I tell her everyday that you are in charge while I'm gone and that she needs to listen to you. 💜💜 Grandpa mentioned doing something next month for your Anniversary, but I don't think I can my sweet Rookster. I hope you understand. I'm already feeling like I'll just want to stay in bed all day. I know it's not the healthy thing to do, but I just don't think I can pretend I'm okay with your physical self not being here. I love for always my sweet Rookie.

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Sil
Melissa,

Have not been visiting the forum lately.... and just found out about your sweet, sweet Izzie.  I'm truly happy for both of you.  Believe, one does never forget any of our fur kids - they stay in our hearts forever.  Yes, we will welcome more fur kids into our lives, but, each one of them are special on their own way.  Just like us - humans.
One thing they all have in common - their unconditional love for us humans.  Sending many, many hugs.
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Rookiesmama
Today, July 2nd, is a really hard day.... this day last year was the last "normal, " day I got to spend with my sweet Rookie. The next day I left for New York, and when I came home, it was because of his sudden injury. I didn't want to go to NY, but still went....I know staying home would not have prevented his injury, but selfishly I'm thinking I would've still have those two weeks with him. Then i think that he got to have that time just with my parents, and i know they spoiled him💜 I also try to be grateful that I was able to make it home, and try to nurse him back to health for a week.... and be with him while he crossed over, but still, my heart is broken. In 18 days it will be a year, and in some ways I can't fathom that. It has been both the longest and quickest year. Izzie has made me feel a little more whole again, although I do wonder why Rookie had me bring her home. She's reactive, expensive, and destructive (although she's 2, it's taking her longer to outgrow puppyhood😂) and just so, so different than him. She has my heart already though. I just wonder what the lesson is; what Rookie knows about her that I don't yet understand.

Rookie,
I am sorry I left you to go to NY, but I am glad you got special time with gma and gpa. Thank you for waiting for me, but I'm sorry I couldn't help you more. I hope you know how much your loved my handsome pupaloo.
Mama💔💜💔💜
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Rookiesmama
One year..... I'm trying not to focus on "the" time today, but it's hard. These last two weeks had a lot of milestones, so I found myself writing more. I love you my Rookie, my sweet pupaloo.


July 13th...I'm not sure what's worse: knowing that these last weeks at this time last year I was without you, or as of tomorrow, you were suffering from your injury. I am so sorry I couldn't help you my pupaloo. I am beyond thankful that I was able to get home to you, but my heart is still aching. I can think of you with love, but also great sorrow for the time we didn't get to have.



July 18th....Happy birthday my sweet Rookie. Last year your birthday passed and you were hurt and I knew a hard decision was looming. It broke my heart that i couldn't spoil you and treat you to an extra special day. This year, you're not physically here. This just makes me so mad. Of course your birthday/Adoptaversary picture came up on Facebook today. I have such conflicting emotions about Facebook's memories. I love seeing your pictures, but boy does it hurt. I hope you're getting to play with toys and roll around extra in the grass today my sweet pupaloo.



July 20th💔💔This has been both the longest and shortest year that I can remember in awhile. It's hard to understand how your physical self has been gone for 365 days. I can still see you running around the house... not even wanting to say hello until you had your favorite ball in your mouth. Silly, nonsensical things like how you waited until I got home from work to do your business- even though you had your doggie door open all day. Deciding to get Izzie was such a difficult choice, and it still hurts that she's here, while you're (physically) not. She does make me laugh though, and oh, she tries my patience. I often find myself wondering why you led her to me-I do believe you knew she was for me. I'm glad I can take her on walks and spoil her, I just wonder when it will hurt less that I can't do it for you anymore. My sweet pupaloo, I will love you for always. I will always be sorry I couldn't help you more, but I'm glad I got to be with you. Thank you for picking me as your person.
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Tankie12
Beautiful, bittersweet words Melissa. It’s soo hard no matter how much time has passed or who’s come into your life, it’s just hard.
You and Rookie were perfect together and you were a wonderful Mommy. Your parents were a very important part of Rookie’s and I know he was showered with love in their care just as you would. Not many have such great people to trust with our most cherished companions.
Just the same, I know you wish it was you. But Melissa you were there when he needed you the most, and it was you that lovingly held him.
I know it’s hard with Izzy. It’s hard not remembering why they’re here in the first place. I didn’t realize that until recently. I think it’s been in the back of my head all along with Sport. He’s great, he’s a wonderful companion for Browns but I’ve always had a *something* inside that’s held me back. I think being angry with all of it is normal, it’s ok to feel this way as long as we realize the reason behind it.
Of course Rookie has his reasons for choosing Izzy, maybe his sense of humor is coming through😉
I love his watermelon eating pictures! He must have had such a gentle nature the way he’s taking one polite bite at a time! And the ice cream too! Browns would have taken it and inhaled it! I can’t tell what’s in the other cups, was Rookie a Latte lover?😂
Your boy is never far from his *person* Big hugs and an ear scratch for Izzy,,,,,
Lynn, Tankie’s mom, forever
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COOKIES4
I am so sad for you I feel your pain
Mommy joan for SPARKY SPIRIT
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COOKIES4
SO SO SO SAD FOR YOU I THINK ROOKIE SUFFERED LAST YEAR AT THIS TIME HE IS AT REST AND OUT OF PAIN NOW I AM SAD DEPRESSED AND CARE ABOUT YOU AND MISS MY PRECIOUS FEATHER BABY COCKATIEL SPARKY WHO PASSED 18 MONTHS AGO THE 28TH OF JUNE AND IT WILL BE 19 MONTHS AGO ON THE 28TH OF JULY JIM'S MOM PASSED THE 15TH OF JULY HE SHED NO TEARS AND JUST AS HE SHED NO TEARS FOR SPARKY IT IS BEYOND WORDS HOW INCOMPASSIONATE HE IS ON MEDS THAT DULL HIS FEELINGS BUT AFTER 20 YEARS TOGETHER I WONDER WHY I AM STILL HERE. LOVE AND FRIENDSHIP MOMMY JOAN 《♡》
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Millie18
Melissa,

Finally stopping by to see your Rookie. How did we make it to 1 year? It's just crazy. I love the picture of him with his eyes closed. He looks so blissful, like a puppy. I imagine that is what his spirit is feeling now, simple bliss and pure peace. Sending you warm thoughts and much strength in your new life with the challenging Miss Izzie, the eternal puppy 😁

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Diana

Mom to Millie, Roman, Snoopy & step sister to O'Boy
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jerigraehl
I am so sorry about Rookie. I lost my Tonkinese Cat the day before your loss under the same situation. Different medical issues but I too made the decision and and suffering the exact feelings you are. Did I not do enough. Should I have waited longer to see if he could have recovered. It was the suffering I saw that made me make the decision - I just wanted him not to hurt. But then once it was done I thought I would die from the pain. I am so traumatized from my last hour with him when I could have changed my mind. He was in a little bed wrapped in a blanket and in my arms and I could have stopped it. The pain I feel is unbearable. I love him so much. My story is on here too - I got some feedback that helped. Some kind people pointed out that he had lived a normal lifespan. Rookie was a big dog. Yes he could have possibly lived longer and I know you wish he had. I wanted Khaomanee to make 18 since many Tonks can. Big dogs don't often see 12 years. You did get a normal lifespan to love him. But I think we both just wish they would walk through our bedroom door and jump into bed with us.  I rescued my last cat from a shelter when he was about to be put down. He lived 13 years until I lost him to a vet mistake. So you took him out of a shelther and loved him and spoied him for 7 years. Grief has its ever changing stages. One minute I think like this and the next I just feel unbearable pain, regret, guilt, and just miss him unbearably. I had a disk injury and it is horribly painful. I still have pain every day and if Rookie could not even walk he must have been in terrible pain. A lot of people put thier pets through terrible pain to delay their own at losing them. You did this to ease his suffering and now you are suffering as am I. I just kept saying in the last couple of days 'I don't know where to draw the line'. I still cant reconcile it. So you are not alone. We did the best we could when we made the decision and now we will never know. But we stopped the pain for them which is why we did it. There is no easy choice. I know we both wish we knew the possible out come of not choosing it and then we could have made a sure choice but we chose to stop the suffering and not risk it. My heart goes out to you. Jeri
jerigraehl
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MAlcindor
Hi Melissa,

It warmed my heart to see your kind words on my thread. Although I don't come here too often any more you are never far from my thoughts. The time has really flown by, although the pain for me has remained the same. I'm sure the sweet unconditional love of your Izzy Bear fills your heart with new love. Rookie will always be tucked in there but there will always be room for new ones. Big hugs to you.
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Millie18
Hi Melissa,

I was responding to a message on my page and thought I would leave you and Rookie some flowers.

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Diana

Mom to Millie, Roman, Snoopy & step sister to O'Boy
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