Sadiesmom061308
My family has been talking about getting another dog. My husband now wants to get 2 when he retires in October. I so want to give my love to another baby or babies. Sadie was my first dog and my first love. I am feeling some guilt and anguish in thinking there will be others in her house. Am I wrong to think this? Is it normal. Does it mean I am not ready to have another dog.?My heart aches to love again. My arms need to cuddle a fur baby again. To kiss the "shnookess" (my word for nose with Sadie). So many emotions. So empty at times. Oh boy how hard this is.
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Beaglemomma
Oh honey, I am struggling with the very same issues.  Before I lost Molly I said I will NEVER have another pet.  At my age it is likely the pet would outlive me and I have no one to take care of it.  I still think that applies, but my arms are so very empty and my heart aches to hold and love a little one.

I torture myself by watching Animal Planet shows especially the "Too Cute" ones with puppies and kittens on it.  My list of pros and cons are of equal length.  What to do?  there can NEVER be another Molly, just not possible and probably not fair to any other pet to even expect them to live up to how I felt for her.

I can barely look at pictures of Molly because I want to kiss that beautiful face so much it hurts.  She kissed right back too.  In fact she demanded kisses by pushing her head right into my face so that I had to kiss her----like I didn't want to anyway.  How many animals DEMAND kisses from you????  Can there be another "once in a lifetime pet"??? I don't know.

One thing I DO know, I never want to feel like this again!!   Hoping you resolve your confusion and probably you will know when the time is right for you to move on.  Till then, I wish you peace and lots of hugs.
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janice
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Bailey15
Hi Sadiesmom (& Beaglemomma)
I am so sorry you lost your beautiful friends. I really miss Bailey's company and would love to be able to scratch his neck again to put him to sleep and then listen to his gentle snoring. I miss coming home and hearing him barking when I drove into the garage. So many things I miss..... but I know that I'm not ready to give all my love to another dog yet. I've read that you should wait 6 months but I know people who have gotten pets much sooner and others who had to wait years so I say trust your heart! I think that we will know when the time is right and even though we will never forget Sadie (or Molly or Bailey), we can give our hearts to another dog when we are ready. Hugs to you!
MJ :)
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Sadiesmom061308
Thanks MJ so thoughtfully put. I am just not ready to make new memories yet. I need to fully embrace that Sadie is gone I suppose. I need to talk freely about memories of her. I am a breast cancer survivor and Sadie had a lot to do with that. I don't know if I could of made it through all my heartaches without her. She was my first dog and I feel that once in a lifetime baby. My son is a grown man but it was his first dog as well. He is an only child and she was really like his sister. He is ready to love another dog/dogs. He is young man and needs to move forward. My husband had 2 dogs growing up. He knows the pain. He is also ready to move on. I want to love and respect another dog/s as i did Sadie. I want to give them the best life possible as I tried to do with Sadie. I need to incorporate her in the lives somehow of the new babies., if at all possible. I have a lot of thinking to do.
Thanks beaglemomma. You are always very kind with your words. Honest and to the point.
Hugs to you both
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jimmy17
Sadiesmom,  its such a tough decision as to if and when we bring another little one into our lives.  When we lost our previous dog Midge, we adopted Jim from our local rescue centre within 5 weeks - we bonded with him instantly, and although we`d loved Midge so very much and were devastated when we lost him - Jim went on to become the `Once in a Lifetime dog`, that some of us are so very lucky to have.  13 weeks after losing Jim, I know I am not ready to have another dog just yet, I do miss having a dog so much, but I`m at the stage of thinking if I can`t have Jim I don`t want  another one at all. Then I feel guilty about all the poor dogs in rescue centres so much in need of a home like ours.
 I thing as MJ says, we will most definately know when the time is right, and that we are ready to share our lives once again with another precious little soul.
                           Hugs, Jackie. 



















J Taylor
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ahartofilis
Hello Sadie's Mom,
         I first want to express my condolences for the loss of your special girl Sadie. You had a very special bond with her and she was by your side through so much.
          I don't feel there is a right or wrong time to have another furbaby to love and care for. You say that you want to extend your love to another and that is beautiful. Yet your heart is very much still grieving the loss of Sadie.
          I  can share my own experience with you. I lost my beloved girl Coco to bone cancer 15 month's ago. She was my world and also stood by me through many health issues, a constant companion, a true love. I honestly couldn't think of getting another canine for a few month's. I felt that I needed that time to sort out my emotions, and just rest with the grief in my soul for her.
          I don't think a light bulb ever went off in my head to tell me that I was ready for another dog. I did feel that I wanted to adopt another soul in need, to honor the life I shared with Coco. It was almost 4 month's before I adopted Rudy, a black Lab pup that had spent all of his puppy month's in shelters. I had so many emotions those first few month's. At times I felt that I was betraying Coco by getting him. Yet little by little I have come to love Rudy for who he is. He is lovely but will never take the place of Coco. I have a clear understanding of who Coco was, and who Rudy is. I think that the time between Coco's passing and adopting Rudy was good for me.
          Everyone has their own unique set of circumstances. I don't know if any of this may help you. I do know that it is possible to love again even with a broken heart. Sometimes a little time gives us a healthier perspective and ability to open ourselves up to another again. I hope all goes well for you and your husband.................Sincerely, Andrea
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Sadiesmom061308
Andrea,
Thanks so much for sharing your story. Everything you said makes so much sense. If we were to get other dogs it would be when my husband retires in October. So a few more months to think. I am glad you have another baby to love. My heart will never be the same without Sadie. The ache will always be there. I do need to love again though. It will be different. Unfortunately life is that way. I am learning day by day to live without Sadie. I don't know how I am doing it but by the grace of God. I know Sadie is not in any pain anymore. She is safe and living life on her terms not the diseases. She is free.
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jslawrence

Hi Sadiesmom,

Such nice posts from people on this forum - there are a lot of big-hearted people here for sure!  My Cockapoo Heidi passed 9 days ago now at a little under 15 years old.  After the first couple days, I felt almost inspired to start a writing project to help myself work through the grief, but also to possibly help others later when I publish on Kindle.  I think the timing of when (or even if) you want to bring another canine friend into your home is such a personal decision and you'll know when it feels right.  Within a few days of Heidi passing our family started talking about our next dog, but I also felt rushing into it would some how be a dishonor to Heidi and that it would set unfair expectations for whoever comes next.  We've decided to get our next dog in about 3 months. Heidi was 13 pounds when she passed.  We're leaning toward a Grate Dane puppy next.  If nothing else, no one can accuse us of trying to press the photo copy button on our last sweet girl.

I don't think your Sadie or my Heidi is looking down on us in any way pleased that we're grieving, but it's something we humans need to work through.  Our friends desperately wanted to watch over and protect us during their time on earth and I think that desire doesn't end from where they are now.  The truly best way for us to honor our amazing friends is by working through our grief however we need to and reaching a point where our memories of them bring joy instead of sadness.  If adopting another dog helps that emotional healing process or brings joy into your life in any way, I'm pretty you'd have Sadie's vote of approval.

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Bailey15
Hi Sadiesmom,
Just checking in... Something occured to me that I thought I would share. I read that if you go through a trauma and your pet is there for you during that time it makes your bond even stronger. I know that you said you are a breast cancer survivor - good for you!! So Sadie was there to comfort and support you through that time which would have made your bond with her even stronger. I think you are wise to grieve as much as you need first and then hopefully you will be able to open your heart to another friend. Bailey died 4 months ago and I'm still not ready though I know at some point I will want to give a loving home to another pet. Trust your heart to know when that time comes for you.
Wishing you peace and warm memories of Sadie. :)
MJ
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Sadiesmom061308
Hi MJ
Thanks for checking in. Yes she helped me through a very scary time with breast cancer and a few other scares related to that. She never left my side. My husband was diagnosed with non-hodgkins lymphoma and she never left his side as well. She was so devoted. I hope she knows how devoted we were to her. We loved her and tried so hard to beat the kidney disease. She was diagnosed in June 2014. At the beginning we seemed to be doing ok with it. It is progressive and fatal. At the end she was taking so many pills. I was giving her sub q fluids daily. Sadly it got to bad and I had to let her go. As so many I wonder if I did enough. My head knows I did but my heart won't catch up. Sending hugs
Tammy
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Aivetara1
Hi Sadiesmom!
10 years ago I lost my first dog that I ever had, Aive. He was a red and white husky that I absolutely adored! When we had to put him asleep, (he had spontaneous pneumothorax) it was so unexpected that we didn't know what to do with ourselves. It took us a long time to even consider getting another dog, but when we got our Max, our hole in our heart was immediately filled. It seemed like Aive picked Max for us, since he was a stray that we found in our front yard one morning. Don't feel guilty about getting another friend. I know another animal would never replace the one you lost, but having a new dog or cat can help you be happy again! :) I hope this helps, and I'm grieving with you. I had to put my baby Tara to sleep on Tuesday. Xoxoxoxo
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LindaDwyer
You will know when the time is right to get another dog.  You will see something and it will just click that this is the dog meant to be with you.  Don't feel guilty about getting another dog, I know we never really get over the loss of loosing one but we do learn to live without them.  We have no choice.  Another dog will fill the void and you will grow to love it as much as you did your other one.  It hurts loosing one but its the price we pay for loving and having them in our lives.

But I would caution you on getting two a the same time.  They will bond to each other, more than to you.  Plus if you get two puppies they will grow old at the same time and probably loose both within a short period.  If you want to get two wait until the other has bonded to you, the two will still get along and love each other but they will love and bond with you more if you don't get them at the same time.
He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog. You are his life, his love, his leader. He will be yours, faithful and true, to the last beat of his heart. You owe it to him to be worthy of such devotion"
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sweetie1
I have been reading some of your other post Tammy.  I know Sadie got you and your husband through some bad times.  I think sometimes that is what they are there for.  

I lost my home in Hurricane Katrina, as did my Mom and Dad.  I took them both in to live with me, both sick.  I cried many days that I couldn't handle their illnesses and my Sweetie would kiss every tear away.  When we left for Katrina, one of the hotels we stayed in wouldn't accept pets and told us to bring her to the shelter.  She was only 3 then and I told the desk clerk, I would sleep in the car in the heat before I gave Sweetie up.  She then accepted her with a fee.  We go through so much with our babies.  I'm about your age too.  I'll be 54.  My husband is going to retire also.  He wants me to be able to make short trips and knows I won't do it, unless I can take the dog with me.  So he wants me to wait a few years before getting another dog.  I don't know if I can go that long without a dog, but there may never be another once in a lifetime dog.

Our pets are the most unconditional love we get from any person or thing.  I will never feel like I did enough for my baby, as we both know that we did...In our heads....How do we convince our hearts?

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Sadiesmom061308
Hello marylynne,
Thanks so much for all your kind words.We do have a lot in common. You have had a terribly tough time as well. Our babies helped us through the worst of times. They gave us the best of times.
Sending you hugs
Tammy
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