LittleLost00
Hi all,

My beloved dog was put to sleep yesterday age 15. His health had been declining over the last year or so but nothing out-of-the-ordinary given his senior years: loss of eyesight, loss of hearing, unsteady on his legs. He was still loving and loyal, loved his food, running in the yard and playing with his many toys.

Yesterday, he very suddenly collapsed and couldn’t get back up. The vet came to see him (the vet was wonderful and caring) at home and my lovely companion was put to sleep, he passed over peacefully. I’m comforted by the fact he is no longer in pain. Though, in the aftermath, I’m struggling with my feelings, obviously it’s all still very raw. I’m in shock. Struggling with guilt - could I have done more? I haven’t slept for crying, I’m struggling to eat, everywhere I look there’s reminders of the happy years we had together. In some moments I’ll be fine, then something reminds me of him and the realisation he isn’t coming back hits me and almost takes my breath away.

I guess I’m writing this as writing it down is a therapy in itself. I have wonderful family and a lovely partner who are all trying to help but I feel so lost. More so than I did losing family members. Is this normal? How do I cope with these feelings going forward?



Thank you
Quote 0 0
Jan_H
I am very sorry for your loss of your sweet dog. It is normal to feel guilty, have regrets, cry and feel lost. It is not uncommon to feel fine one moment and then have something trigger a breakdown. Many of us find it harder to lose a pet than a human family member. We take care of our pets and are responsible for them. And we make that final decision for them. It hurts.

It has only been one day. Give yourself time to grieve. WHen/if you feel like it, post pictures and stories.

My condolences,
Jan
Quote 0 0
LauriP92
I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your dog. Everyone on here is reeling and in pain from the loss. Please use this forum to pour out your feelings and heart. We are all here to listen.
It sounds like your pal was telling you that he was tired and ready to go to the Bridge. Dont feel guilty for that. You let him go peacefully. Sending you a big hug. Things do get better over time. When I lost my Ollie last week I cried for four  straight days. When I went back to work on Monday, things started turning around and I was feeling like the  fog was lifting. So go ahead and cry-its good to mourn your loss. And when you are ready you will move forward. Take all the time you need

Lauri 
Quote 1 0
creole54
You have come to the right place.  On this forum almost all of us are in various stages of dealing with our grief, and we all grieve in our own way at our own speed.  But sharing our feelings and experiences with each other is helpful.  The day after I lost my Daisy I thought I was going to go crazy..I couldn't stand the pain.  I'm so glad I found this forum and the support if affords.  
For now...be kind to yourself.  Your grief is fresh and you're in shock & disbelief.  In time you will start to feel better, but I know right now is just dreadful for you.  I have actually had 3 days in the last 6 weeks that I DIDN'T cry.  And in a weird way, not crying feels disloyal somehow, like I'm afraid I'm going to forget her and I don't want to forget her.  (I know that sounds really dumb).
Please come back and read and post here whenever the feelings get to be overwhelming.

Teri Milbourn
Quote 1 0
BorderCollieLover
LittleLost00:

  My condolences about your loss. It's going to hurt real bad for a while. Just the idea that you came to this Forum shows that you really loved your dog. You're also a good person. All of us are completely overwhelmed by the loss  of our beloved dogs. I broke down and really cried today when I received some sympathy cards in the mail. I was touched by this act of kindness, I had to slip my sunglasses on before I went out into public as my eyes were so red from the outpouring of tears. Little things trigger the emotional outbursts  (like receiving sympathy cards)but I have to grieve. Don't hold it in. Release it. Let the tears flow. Please post here often. All of us in this Forum are in the same boat. We'd love to hear from you often.  You are fully supported here. 
Jim Miller
Quote 1 0
LittleLost00
Thank you so much everyone, your kind words are helping at this horrible time.

It’s comforting to know what I’m feeling is normal and a sign of the love I had for my baby Brad. I realise that he was a part of my life for so long (since childhood) and that part is now missing, so it’s normal to feel this level of grief. Tonight is the first time since his passing that I’ve been able to get a couple of hours sleep (it’s currently 4:40am UK time but I’m thankful my mind has let me ‘switch off’ as it were for a short while!).

I’m so glad I found this site. My original post took about 30 minutes to compose as I wrote it through tears so had to keep going back and rewriting it. It helps enormously to share what I feel and to hear other people’s stories. Whilst I do have a good support network at home, I worry that those close to me will tire of me constantly talking about him (does this make sense?)

In this moment, I’m struggling to see the little pleasures in life. Something as simple as going shopping (which I loved!) seems pointless and I’m laying here thinking, “why would I go shopping when I can’t buy him treats and toys anymore?” Which sounds silly but it’s true.

I miss my boy so bad and I want him home...though as I said I’d rather he be pain free at the Bridge than with me here suffering. He lived a good life, I have to remember that!

Again, thank you for responding, it means a lot to me. You’re all fantastic.

Love,

LL00
Quote 0 0
redgirlraven
If you would like someone to talk to daybydaypetsupport.com has a 24/7 hotline you can call. Sometimes you might have to leave a message but they do call you back.
Also I recommend looking up the grief theory about a grief being like a ball in a box because I found that has helped me to understand the instead waves of grief I have felt.
I am so sorry for your loss
AR
Quote 0 0