Thank you, Lynn. I agree with you - I hope we get to see them again one day.
It's been a long time, baby girl. I'm sure you've wondered where Daddy has been. I haven't written in a long time, and I think it's because I'm afraid of opening up the floodgates of grief again. They never really dried up. I just managed to cover them over so they don't leak so much, because the pain of everything was too much to deal with. But I want you to know, Stormy, that I've never once forgotten you, nor do I love you any less, though the time has passed (tomorrow will be 14 months).
The other pets really do try to love on me, and I'm trying to let them. My only regret, as sweet as Skye is, is that I adopted her when I did. In hindsight, I probably should've waited - and I know this probably sounds bad/weird - another 5 years or so until the girls were out of the house. I don't feel like I've connected with Skye like I hoped I would, and I think a large part of that is due to my girls not respecting the boundaries I set for them regarding her...and they show absolutely no remorse for it (which makes it all the harder to deal with). But Skye's not going anywhere. I do what I can when I'm home to spend time with her and love on her, and I just hope it's enough to make a difference down the road.
I still miss you as much as I did in the hours immediately following your leaving. The way you would look at me just somehow was able to really calm me down and take the load of all my cares and everything else off of me. Oh how I could use that now!
I thought again about pulling your old Cat Sitter DVD out and putting it on for Skye and Pumpkin, but I'm afraid those two would destroy the television as soon as they saw the birds. Maybe I need to find a cheap TV for them to watch on...
Your ashes and pawprint from the vet on your final day are still right where I put them, so they're one of the first things I see when I wake up, and one of the last things I see before bed. That's definitely helped. And it's helped, too, that I learned from your fur clippings getting stolen, and I kept the paw print impression we made at home up out of sight and out of reach...so hopefully it stays safely socked away until I can have a memory box down where I can reach it more often. I still hope I can find what few pictures I have of you and get those printed out so I can have them in the same box.
I look forward to the day I get to be reunited with you, baby girl. 10 years, as long as that may seem, was way to short...I'm looking forward to you being right by my side for eternity. And I hope that when we do meet again that we're able to reunite with me feeling none of the guilt I feel over how things went towards the end, and with me knowing that you've forgiven me.
I love you, Stormy. Always and forever.