AZTiger98 Show full post »
ForMitookie_03
David,

Just wanted to say hello and that my thoughts and prayers are with you, as I know you have just been through Stormy's 1 year angel-fur-sary.  Milestones are so hard.  Like you, I will be just going about my day and come across a reminder and boom, UGA out of nowhere.  The other night I had to clean things out from under my bathroom sink to work on the drain and came across Mitookie's medicine from his last two days on earth.  Again, felt a little angry, but deeply saddened.  I'm sorry you are having to go through this as you move through life without Stormy.  I know she watches over you and would be with you if she could.  Your love for Stormy gives me strength on my own grief journey.  I wish for you to have continued peace and healing.  Take care.

Kindest Regards,

Marina
Marina ~ Mitookie's Mom
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AZTiger98
Catie and Marina,

Just wanted to say thank you to both of you for dropping in and leaving your messages on Stormy's 1-year angel-fur-sary.  It's definitely still hard - I have a hard time wanting to scroll through my phone now because of knowing her photos are in there.  I probably will have to do it eventually to make sure they don't get lost some day due to the phone dying, but right now, it's overwhelming to think about.  And, I'm starting to panic a bit about her ashes.  I know, it's probably stupid of me - but when I was straightening up the chest of drawers where her ashes and pawprint are, I picked up the ashes container and thought, "That feels a lot lighter than I think I remember."  When I held it up to the light a bit, I noticed it was only about half full.  Which may be how it was from the beginning, I guess I'm just stressing and panicking due to issues we've been having around the house.  I guess there's not much I can do about it right now (not unless I search through the rest of the house and find a container of ashes somewhere), but just it crossing my mind and making me wonder is overwhelming at this point.

I hope each of you is making it through the days as best you can and finding more and more peace each day.

David
David

Daddy to beloved fur baby Stormy
08/2003 - 05/19/18
Stormy’s Residency https://www.rainbowsbridge.com/residents/STORM059/Resident.htm
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AZTiger98
Saw this earlier today, thought of everyone here...may this bring a little ray of sunlight into our grief...
rainbowbridge.jpg 
David

Daddy to beloved fur baby Stormy
08/2003 - 05/19/18
Stormy’s Residency https://www.rainbowsbridge.com/residents/STORM059/Resident.htm
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Tankie12
Thanks for sharing David❣️Made me cry because I hope soo much it’s all true. I believe about 80% of the time than I struggle with hoping I’m not just a fool. I’m sure I’m not the only one
Time passes but the grief never will. They are our babies, our best friends, our soulmates. Nothing can ever make it right so we will be forever changed. I know your heart yearns for Stormy as sure as it beats
I think we’ll be traveling along this road until we are with those beautiful spirits again, take care David,,,,,
Lynn, Tankie’s mom, forever
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AZTiger98
Thank you, Lynn.  I agree with you - I hope we get to see them again one day.

David
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Dear Stormy,

It's been a long time, baby girl.  I'm sure you've wondered where Daddy has been.  I haven't written in a long time, and I think it's because I'm afraid of opening up the floodgates of grief again. They never really dried up.  I just managed to cover them over so they don't leak so much, because the pain of everything was too much to deal with.  But I want you to know, Stormy, that I've never once forgotten you, nor do I love you any less, though the time has passed (tomorrow will be 14 months).

The other pets really do try to love on me, and I'm trying to let them.  My only regret, as sweet as Skye is, is that I adopted her when I did.  In hindsight, I probably should've waited - and I know this probably sounds bad/weird - another 5 years or so until the girls were out of the house.  I don't feel like I've connected with Skye like I hoped I would, and I think a large part of that is due to my girls not respecting the boundaries I set for them regarding her...and they show absolutely no remorse for it (which makes it all the harder to deal with).  But Skye's not going anywhere.  I do what I can when I'm home to spend time with her and love on her, and I just hope it's enough to make a difference down the road.

I still miss you as much as I did in the hours immediately following your leaving.  The way you would look at me just somehow was able to really calm me down and take the load of all my cares and everything else off of me.  Oh how I could use that now!

I thought again about pulling your old Cat Sitter DVD out and putting it on for Skye and Pumpkin, but I'm afraid those two would destroy the television as soon as they saw the birds.  Maybe I need to find a cheap TV for them to watch on...

Your ashes and pawprint from the vet on your final day are still right where I put them, so they're one of the first things I see when I wake up, and one of the last things I see before bed.  That's definitely helped.  And it's helped, too, that I learned from your fur clippings getting stolen, and I kept the paw print impression we made at home up out of sight and out of reach...so hopefully it stays safely socked away until I can have a memory box down where I can reach it more often.  I still hope I can find what few pictures I have of you and get those printed out so I can have them in the same box.

I look forward to the day I get to be reunited with you, baby girl.  10 years, as long as that may seem, was way to short...I'm looking forward to you being right by my side for eternity.  And I hope that when we do meet again that we're able to reunite with me feeling none of the guilt I feel over how things went towards the end, and with me knowing that you've forgiven me.

I love you, Stormy.  Always and forever.

Love,
Daddy

David

Daddy to beloved fur baby Stormy
08/2003 - 05/19/18
Stormy’s Residency https://www.rainbowsbridge.com/residents/STORM059/Resident.htm
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just_lost
AZTiger98 wrote:
Saw this earlier today, thought of everyone here...may this bring a little ray of sunlight into our grief...
rainbowbridge.jpg 


This made me tear up.  Felix (a.k.a. Damn Cat) didn't quite make it to 10.  It's been a little over 3 weeks since we helped him cross the bridge and still the something's-not-right feeling remains in the house.  We brought his ashes home on Saturday.

I'm very sorry for your loss, AZTiger98 - she's a beautiful girl.
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JinglesMom
AZTiger98 wrote:
Thank you, Lynn.  I agree with you - I hope we get to see them again one day.

David
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Dear Stormy,

It's been a long time, baby girl.  I'm sure you've wondered where Daddy has been.  I haven't written in a long time, and I think it's because I'm afraid of opening up the floodgates of grief again. They never really dried up.  I just managed to cover them over so they don't leak so much, because the pain of everything was too much to deal with.  But I want you to know, Stormy, that I've never once forgotten you, nor do I love you any less, though the time has passed (tomorrow will be 14 months).

The other pets really do try to love on me, and I'm trying to let them.  My only regret, as sweet as Skye is, is that I adopted her when I did.  In hindsight, I probably should've waited - and I know this probably sounds bad/weird - another 5 years or so until the girls were out of the house.  I don't feel like I've connected with Skye like I hoped I would, and I think a large part of that is due to my girls not respecting the boundaries I set for them regarding her...and they show absolutely no remorse for it (which makes it all the harder to deal with).  But Skye's not going anywhere.  I do what I can when I'm home to spend time with her and love on her, and I just hope it's enough to make a difference down the road.

I still miss you as much as I did in the hours immediately following your leaving.  The way you would look at me just somehow was able to really calm me down and take the load of all my cares and everything else off of me.  Oh how I could use that now!

I thought again about pulling your old Cat Sitter DVD out and putting it on for Skye and Pumpkin, but I'm afraid those two would destroy the television as soon as they saw the birds.  Maybe I need to find a cheap TV for them to watch on...

Your ashes and pawprint from the vet on your final day are still right where I put them, so they're one of the first things I see when I wake up, and one of the last things I see before bed.  That's definitely helped.  And it's helped, too, that I learned from your fur clippings getting stolen, and I kept the paw print impression we made at home up out of sight and out of reach...so hopefully it stays safely socked away until I can have a memory box down where I can reach it more often.  I still hope I can find what few pictures I have of you and get those printed out so I can have them in the same box.

I look forward to the day I get to be reunited with you, baby girl.  10 years, as long as that may seem, was way to short...I'm looking forward to you being right by my side for eternity.  And I hope that when we do meet again that we're able to reunite with me feeling none of the guilt I feel over how things went towards the end, and with me knowing that you've forgiven me.

I love you, Stormy.  Always and forever.

Love,
Daddy



Dear David,
Your letter to your beautiful Stormy was so beautiful and heartfelt. I loved how you wrote about your fear of opening up the floodgates of grief again, and I can so relate to that. You are so right that they never dry up, but they just wait for that little memory, that scent in the air, that seemingly insignificant reminder of all that we had, and all that we lost. No matter how much time goes by, the pain and emptiness is still there. It never get easier, it never gets better, it just gets different. I suppose that we learn to live with this new normal, although how could anything be even next to normal without our dear little ones being right here with us. Your letters to your kitty reflect the special love you share, and I know that when she left this earth, she knew how much she was loved. You were with her every step of the way as she crossed that bridge, of this I have no doubt. They take us with them when they go, and all the memories we made, and they leave so much more behind.

Your sweet Stormy knows that you will never forget her and the incredible bond you share is everlasting. After I lost my Jasper five years ago, I used to be so scared that he would somehow fade from my world, but nothing could be further from the truth. He is as close to me now as when he was physically here, and he will never ever leave my heart. The love never ends, it just keeps getting stronger. Your beautiful baby is always and forever with you, until you meet again on the other side, and then she will be with you for all eternity. You will never have to say such a sad goodbye again. All the sorrow, all the despair, all the guilt, and all the pain will disappear into the brilliant light that you will walk into together with your special girl by your side. Take care and know that you are not alone, she is as close as you calling out her name. Thank you again David for sharing your precious Stormy with us all, one thing is for certain, she knows how very much she is loved. Hugs, Pamela
Pamela Lynne Crawford
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catiebee
Hi David, 

It's such a bummer to feel so lonely for your sweet girl.  I'm sure sorry. And for this mile marker. Stormy sounds like she was incredibly attuned to you and that her presence and her ways were especially comforting and a real support in coping with stress. It must be hard not to have that special "help" available in 3D any longer.

I can well understand being afraid the floodgates will open back up. More than understand that your aching heart's not mended, tears haven't dried. It can be overwhelming and you have to keep doing life. 

I'm sorry things are different than you had hoped with Skye and that the girls haven't respected  your requests. I'm glad you have some furry love in your life, though. 😉

Trusting all the Stormy items can remain very safe from here on out. I know they are treasures. 

The way I read it, every tear.... every single one.... will be wiped away. How I look toward that day with longing, as well. And of course to the reunion!! But I hope, David, that self-forgiveness can come soon, or whatever release can lift the burden of guilt from your heart. It's been a painful load and you don't deserve to suffer more.

Best to you, friend. Wishing you comforts and healing for your heart.




Catie
-Missing Marissa deeply
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AZTiger98

Dearest Stormy,

3 more months have passed.  Today is 17 months since you left me.  


i do hope that things are going well for you at the Bridge.  I think about you often.  Skye looks so much like you, I catch myself calling her by your name regularly.  


I guess it’s another one of those times that I want so badly to write and talk to you, but I don’t really even know the words to say.  That’s probably why I’ve been so slack about coming by.  I’m sorry, baby girl. 

I sure would love it if you could pay me a visit sometime.  If you come in my dreams I’ll be sure to tell Skye and Pumpkin to save your favorite spot on the bed for you.

love always,
Daddy

David

Daddy to beloved fur baby Stormy
08/2003 - 05/19/18
Stormy’s Residency https://www.rainbowsbridge.com/residents/STORM059/Resident.htm
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catiebee
Hi David, 

Thanks so much for your kind birthday note for Marissa and me.

Reading here, I hear you, that so many times words aren't sufficient or the right ones aren't in reach. These losses have been life altering. I hope you'll have a very sweet dream of Stormy soon. And may your heart be comforted and encouraged!

Best to you and take good care!
Catie
-Missing Marissa deeply
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AZTiger98
Dear Stormy,

It's been a LONG time, baby girl.  I hope things are going well at the Rainbow Bridge.  I've missed coming here to talk to you.

I thought about coming by many times over the last few months, but every time, the ensuing pain and heartache was just too great.  Not because I don't wish I could talk to or cuddle you anymore, but because I feared that coming, writing, and letting my feelings surface would overwhelm me beyond what I can handle.  Even now, just writing you is welling up feelings inside of stress and grief.

I saw something not long ago that really stuck with me as to why I have grieved for you so much (just shy of 2 years now).  Grief is when our hearts are so full of love for someone who has left us, that we are trying to express what we can no longer tell them.  Something like that, anyway.  And I really think that's true in my case with you. 

I've managed to keep everything of yours safe, except for the memorial dog tag I had made...somehow that has managed to disappear.  The good thing is, I know what it said, I know how it was arranged on both sides, and if I do forget, I either have a picture of it in this thread that I can refer to, or I have another photo saved elsewhere.

I think Pumpkin knows how much I miss having a cat to cuddle with.  He follows me around the bathroom every morning, and before I leave for work every day, he wants me to pick him up and hold him for a bit.  Reminds me of how you always came and sat on my lap for a bit even when I was only sitting down to put on my shoes.  Skye is occasionally sleeping in our room now, and actually lay next to me the other night for a bit and let me pet her, so maybe she'll keep doing that more and more.

Oh, how miss that particular meow of yours!  And seeing you come trotting by with your tail up in the air and the tip bent over like a little flag!

As your 2 year angel-fur-sary approaches, I want you to know, Stormy, that I will never forget you or erase your memory from my heart.  I look forward to the day when I get to see you again and cross the rainbow bridge with you into eternity. 

Please come visit me in my dreams sometimes, if you're able to.  I would dearly love that.

Love always,
Daddy
David

Daddy to beloved fur baby Stormy
08/2003 - 05/19/18
Stormy’s Residency https://www.rainbowsbridge.com/residents/STORM059/Resident.htm
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catiebee
David, such a beautiful letter to your beloved Stormy. 

There is something about these losses. And even down the road, how the pain of missing her can just swamp you. She was your girl and the apple of your eye, the treasure of your heart. A connection like no other.  

And the longings for all the "little" things, her idiosyncracies, the way she carried her tail, the unique sound of her voice. They're big things, really. Because those kinds of things filled our hearts--the attributes that made us smile and made us adore them. 

I'm glad Pumpkin comes to see you for a cuddle each morning.

Thinking of you and your furry sweetheart Stormy. And understanding so well the ache to be reunited in eternity.

God bless you and take good care...
Catie
-Missing Marissa deeply
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AZTiger98

Dearest Stormy,

The date may say 5/20, but here it's still 5/19...2 years to the day when you left me for the Bridge.  I miss you so much, baby girl.  I have never stopped thinking about or loving and missing you.  I hope that you're making lots of friends there, and that whenever you are allowed to think of me, you remember the good times that we shared.  I may not have been the best daddy to you all the time, but I think I was the best daddy FOR you.  Nights seem so empty now, without you coming in loudly protesting that I am not in bed yet, or coming out once the puppies are in bed and snuggling up on the couch.

I am longing for the day when I see you again, when I can hold you, smell your fur, and stroke your back.  A piece of me left with you that day, and I don't think it's ever going to heal until we are reunited.

I love you, Stormy.  Always and forever.

Love,
Daddy

David

Daddy to beloved fur baby Stormy
08/2003 - 05/19/18
Stormy’s Residency https://www.rainbowsbridge.com/residents/STORM059/Resident.htm
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CK1991
Hello David, The anniversaries marking the departures of our beloved pets are painful but they also remind us of all the wonderful times we had when they were here. I’m sorry for your loss and I know what it’s like to carry that loss and sadness in our hearts.  Thinking of you on Stormy’s 2nd anniversary at the Bridge and wishing you the peace that comes with knowing you gave her a beautiful life. 
CK
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Lillymylove
Thank you for your kind words I’ve been missing Lilly so much lately as I bet you are with your Stormy take car bye for now.
Dave
David 
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