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catiebee

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Reply with quote  #166 
Hi David,

It is good to have word from you. I've been trying to get back over to the forum, but life wasn't cooperating. 

Man, I'm so sorry about the fracture and also the pulmonary embolisms! Yikes, you've been recovering from a lot! One of my neighbors had PEs last year and she's doing great now, but I can imagine the journey you've been on.  She was on warfarin, a drug that, shall I say, I have an extreme respect for. Have you needed to be on anticoagulants for awhile as you recover?

Sorry, too, David, that other issues have weighed heavily. Tough times...

And all of the above whilst missing your girl. It's a long adjustment and each new phase of life seems to shine a light on some other aspect of missing them.  I do hope Skye will become more of a cuddler.

I hope you are feeling better and better with the passing days and are truly on the mend. And as always, my heart goes out to you over Stormy. 

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Catie
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MissingScooty

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Reply with quote  #167 
Wow David you've been through a lot! Please hang in there. I know this forum is mainly about pet grief, but when other life stresses happen, it seems to intensify the grief already there (at least it does for me)...so I am sending hugs your way. And I so identify with how you write to Stormy that you can't wait to see her again.

Take care,

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AZTiger98

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Reply with quote  #168 
Dear Stormy,

It has been forever since I've written you, baby girl.  I'm so sorry - I hope you don't think I've forgotten about you, because I haven't.  But with everything that's been going on, I just haven't had much energy to try to put together enough coherent thoughts for letters to you.

My ankle is healing up, which is good.  I finally got my walking boot last week and have to wear it for at least another 5-7 weeks.  After that, I suppose they'll consider letting me transition to walking with no boot at all, but we'll see.  It's been rather lonely without you to cuddle, even though Skye did her best to stay close to me the entire time I was at home on the couch.  She doesn't like that big brown leather couch, though, I don't think - she prefers the old one that I had when I got you.  But she would sit as close to me as she could when she was resting.

I can't believe 6 months is coming up so soon.  And right before Thanksgiving, too. Ugh.  I have candles by your ashes, this time I plan to actually have them lit all day.

James brought tears to my eyes the other day - he told me that he wished you hadn't died.  And I said, "Yeah, I know...I wish she hadn't died too, buddy."  He said, "Because she and Skye could play together like Skye and Pumpkin play."  I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason Skye came is because you had to go to Rainbow Bridge.  But yes, the thought of you playing with her brings a smile to my face. 

And I'm finally able to carry your memorial items with me again, now that I can get into my bedroom.  I had to leave them in there while I was dealing with my ankle, because it was so much work just to get into the bedroom - then I didn't want to have to navigate the area around the bed with a walker.  But I have everything with me now.  I still haven't transferred your ashes - who knows when, or even if, that will happen.  Right now, they're still sitting on top of the chest of drawers in the same container the crematorium sent them back in.  But part of me does think that's ok - it at least is something that looks nice.

I miss you, baby girl.  I miss your fur, your smells, the way you would just snuggle up behind my knees at night, or next to me, or in my lap - wherever you found me.  Sometimes I feel like the hole in my heart will always be here - but that's ok, right?  Because the only way I think it can be filled is for you to be back with me.

Daddy loves you, Stormy.  From here to the end of the known universe and back.

Love,
Daddy

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David

Daddy to beloved fur baby Stormy
08/2003 - 05/19/18
Stormy’s Residency https://www.rainbowsbridge.com/residents/STORM059/Resident.htm
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AZTiger98

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Reply with quote  #169 
All,

Just wanted to stop in and say hi - I know it's been a while, and I'd said I wanted to start dropping in more often, but the last few weeks just wouldn't allow it - too exhausting dealing with everything else.

I'm doing much better recovery-wise - on blood thinners (Xarelto) for about the next 6 months until the PEs clear up and dissolve.  Wearing a walking boot and able to put weight on my ankle now - as tolerated.  So still using crutches quite a bit. 

I've missed connecting with each of you - I hope to start catching up to that in the coming days...at least, I'll make an attempt to do it.

I hope each of you has peaceful days ahead and finds the comfort you need at whatever point you are in your grief journey.

David

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David

Daddy to beloved fur baby Stormy
08/2003 - 05/19/18
Stormy’s Residency https://www.rainbowsbridge.com/residents/STORM059/Resident.htm
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catiebee

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Reply with quote  #170 
Hi David,

I'm glad you could post to Stormy again and also give us an update. Have certainly been concerned about you walking through such ordeals with your injury and health! It is good to hear that your body is continuing to mend but I'm so sorry to hear you're experiencing exhaustion. I hope life gives you a bit more breathing room soon as it must be hard to recuperate when you're so fatigued. 

I know your heart is continuing to miss your sweet Story deeply. It's not hard for me to imagine how it hurt, having that conversation with your young son. So many things can fire up the painful memories. Anniversaries can be really tough, so I hope you can do something nice for yourself. Wishing you much comfort, for sure, as the half-year mark approaches. 

Keep taking good care of you--





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Catie
-Missing Marissa deeply
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AZTiger98

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Reply with quote  #171 
Dear Stormy,

Sweet, sweet Stormy - I miss you.  I haven't stopped missing you since the instant your little heart stopped beating and you went limp in my arms.  Unfortunately, as so often happens, life keeps getting all hectic and I just can't spend the time coming to write like I want to.  The way the kids have sort of 'taken' Skye has hurt, but it tears at me - I feel like I'm being selfish if I tell them stay away from her, and I'm not really doing HER any favors because I'm at work all day, but at the same time, I feel like no matter how many times I express boundaries for them with Skye, they don't respect them or listen...this morning, they were fighting over who was holding her, and of course, there's no way to enforce that they are "grounded" from playing with the cat.  I do hope that now that I'm able to get up and move around more, Skye will start coming back to me for snuggles and naptimes.  That was one good thing about you - you always knew you belonged to me, even if you did let the kids pet you or play with you, so you would always make it known to them that you had your limits and that you knew who was your fur-parent.

I think one of the biggest reasons I miss you is that you made me feel needed.  When I brought you home that day, it was obvious to me that you needed a human who would love you for you, in spite of all your issues, no matter what.  I might've gotten upset with you a few times over some things you did, but I never, ever, stopped loving you - not for a second.  The way you waited for me to come home from work or wherever else I'd been, you'd come to greet me as soon as you heard my voice, or the way you'd just follow me around like a puppy.  And I know I needed you, too, and I think you knew that.  I guess all the other pets (and even the kids and your Mama) need me too, but it was just different with you...

*Sigh*.  I hope I can make it through next Monday, Stormy.  I'm already dreading it.  And then Thanksgiving is next week, too, and I'm going to be struggling with wanting to put on a happy face when we go to NM. 

I hope you're enjoying the Bridge and making lots of new friends...but I hope you won't forget about me.  I hold on to that hope ever so tightly, that you are waiting for me no matter how long it takes before I get to Heaven, and that we'll be able to spend eternity together again.

I guess I'd better go for now and get to work.  Daddy loves you, baby girl - to the ends of the known universe and back.

Love always,
Daddy

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David

Daddy to beloved fur baby Stormy
08/2003 - 05/19/18
Stormy’s Residency https://www.rainbowsbridge.com/residents/STORM059/Resident.htm
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Purzel

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Reply with quote  #172 
David,
Have not been here on your thread for a while and see how many not so nice things happened. My oh my - I hope you feel much better by now. I hear you how much you are missing Stormy still - same here with my beloved Max and the time of year does not contribute anything for the better. All the reminders of last year appear before my inner eye. I imagine how difficult first Thanksgiving without Stormy must be for you now and my heart goes out to you. Know you are not alone in this.
I send hugs your way

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AZTiger98

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Reply with quote  #173 
This picture sums it up perfectly for me

Attached Images
jpeg FB_IMG_1542594170703.jpg (57.33 KB, 4 views)


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David

Daddy to beloved fur baby Stormy
08/2003 - 05/19/18
Stormy’s Residency https://www.rainbowsbridge.com/residents/STORM059/Resident.htm

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MAlcindor

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Reply with quote  #174 
Very true. ❤️❤️
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          Marlen
(Max & Bailey's mommy)

https://www.rainbowsbridge.com/residents/MAX42339/Resident.htm
https://www.rainbowsbridge.com/residents/BAILE490/Resident.htm

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catiebee

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Reply with quote  #175 
Hearing you, David. Very much so!
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Catie
-Missing Marissa deeply
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AZTiger98

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Reply with quote  #176 
Sylvia, Marlen, and Catie,

Thank you for dropping by and leaving your words of encouragement.  They are greatly appreciated, especially on a day like today.  I have a little battery powered candle with me so I can have it lit today.  Cried another river as I turned it on and as I typed out a tribute for the evening candle ceremony.  Even though I can't be online for it (I'll be on my way home from work or else occupied with family stuff), I'll still be thinking of Stormy the whole time.

I just wanted to drop a note of thanks and to say hi to all who might drop by today or who have come by in recent days.  Your thoughts are much appreciated.

David

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David

Daddy to beloved fur baby Stormy
08/2003 - 05/19/18
Stormy’s Residency https://www.rainbowsbridge.com/residents/STORM059/Resident.htm
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catiebee

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Reply with quote  #177 
Hugs to you, David.  Anniversaries, and this is a big one, are so, SO hard. You've had a terribly tough year physically and your loss of Stormy was very complicated. I feel for you in having to endure all that you've walked through and are still experiencing. 

Excruciating as it was to write the tribute, it sounds like you did very important grief work there. I'm so sorry for how pained your heart is today (and every day!) and for the vastness of your loss, magnified now. Everyone here understands. You're not alone.

Thinking of you and praying for you, especially today.

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Catie
-Missing Marissa deeply
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AZTiger98

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Reply with quote  #178 
Dearest Stormy,

Well, I somehow made it through last week.  That was rough, two major dates coming so close together - and I have to endure it again next month, for your 7-month angel-fur-sary and Christmas.  I hope you had a good Thanksgiving at Rainbow Bridge, though it would've been so much more awesome if you could've been here.  I know you probably wouldn't have made the trip to NM with us, but you would've been here to greet me when I got home last night.  I know you probably didn't get any turkey or ham at Rainbow Bridge (unless they have non-pet-originated turkey or non-pet-originated ham there), but you were probably so busy playing with your fur-friends that you didn't notice.

As it was, Skye took up for your absence rather surprisingly.  I got home, got out of the car, and started to go in the house before closing the garage door.  As soon as I opened the first door, there sat Skye, looking at me like, "Where have YOU been?"  I had to quickly shut the door and close the garage before I could resume going in the house so that she didn't bolt out the door.  She was following me around the rest of last night and all this morning, meowing happily.

Your Mama says that Skye is looking more and more like you in every picture.  And, while I know that wasn't my intent (to get a kitten that would look just like you), I have to admit, it's actually quite comforting.  Does it possibly make me miss you a little more as well? Sure.  But, I think I can handle that part - at least, I've been able to so far.  She's just different enough in her mannerisms that it helps me love her for being HER, rather than focusing on why she's not more like you.

I miss you so much, Stormy.  I'm looking forward so much to seeing you again one day and having you spend eternity with me.  I hear people say that the pain goes away as time passes, but I'm not sure it does.  I think it just gets swallowed up in all the regular parts of life and then comes back when there's an opportunity for it to be felt in the midst of everything else.

Daddy loves you to the end of the known universe and back, baby girl.  Always and forever.

Love,
Daddy

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David

Daddy to beloved fur baby Stormy
08/2003 - 05/19/18
Stormy’s Residency https://www.rainbowsbridge.com/residents/STORM059/Resident.htm
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AZTiger98

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Reply with quote  #179 
Dear Stormy,

I hope things are going well for you at the Bridge and that you are finding many new friends to play with there.  I know you didn't really play much with Chip and Dusty when you were alive, but you did seem to enjoy wrestling with Pumpkin when he got a little older, so maybe that part of you will remain and grow even now.

I had a massive scare the other night.  I got home from picking up the kids, and as I was navigating getting out of the car, all the kids went running into the house.  Well, they didn't close the door from the house to the laundry room.  I got to the door from the garage to laundry, and hit the button to close the garage door - thankfully.  As I opened the door into the laundry, I saw Skye sitting there staring expectantly at the door.  Before I could close the door and holler through it for someone to get her, she bolted into the garage.  Thankfully, she didn't get out of the garage, because I (by this point) was screaming all sorts of words, and I think it scared her enough to make her just run under the van.  We got her back inside and I held her and told her what a naughty girl she was being.  Everyone has been instructed now to keep the door closed into the laundry room and double check to make sure Skye's whereabouts are known at all times.

The whole thing made me have a flashback to that time at Grandmeow and Grandpurr's house where you bolted out the front door and nobody knew where you'd gone.  I remember your Mama calling me and telling me what happened, and how I almost jumped right in the car and left work to drive to NM and search for you.  And how relieved I was when I heard that you'd been located back in the bedroom where you were supposed to be.

I miss you, baby girl.  I read in someone else's thread this morning that they'd taken videos of their kitty in the final weeks and how watching those was comforting on some level.  And now I'm kicking myself for not thinking of doing something like that with you. 

I guess I'd better go for now and get back to work.  But know that I'm thinking of you every moment and wishing you were going to be there to greet me when I get home tonight.

I love you to the ends of the known universe and back again, Stormy.  Holding tightly to the hope of seeing you again one day.

Love always,
Daddy

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David

Daddy to beloved fur baby Stormy
08/2003 - 05/19/18
Stormy’s Residency https://www.rainbowsbridge.com/residents/STORM059/Resident.htm
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AZTiger98

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Reply with quote  #180 
Dear Stormy,

Just dropping in to say hello again.  I think you might have come to visit last night, which helped me a lot.  I got in the bed to go to sleep, and Skye was lying almost right where you used to lie on the bed.  Once I got my injured leg over her and into the bed, and got the rest of me situated and lay down, she let me curl my legs around her where she was wrapped up in behind my knees like you used to do.  As far as I know, she stayed there most of the night - certainly until I fell asleep.  If that was due to you whispering into her ear, thank you baby girl. 

Apparently Skye was naughty yesterday afternoon, too, and bolted out through the door to the garage twice.  She's back inside now, though - I don't know what it is that she thinks is out in the garage to go play with and chase, but she certainly thinks SOMETHING is out there.  Hopefully we can keep her fairly well contained, though.  I can't bear to think of losing her due to something like that.

I'm sorry it's so up and down with me, Stormy.  I know you want me to be happy, and you don't want me to just be sad all the time and mired in grief and tears.  It's just hard.  It's hard because you were my first pet who belonged solely to ME.  And not only that, but you got me through some pretty dark times in my life.  I'm glad that I do have some times when I can smile, and that, while the hole is still there that was created when you left, I'm not crying 24/7 like I was in the immediate days afterwards.

I love you, baby girl.  Always and forever, 'til eternity has passed.

Love,
Daddy

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David

Daddy to beloved fur baby Stormy
08/2003 - 05/19/18
Stormy’s Residency https://www.rainbowsbridge.com/residents/STORM059/Resident.htm
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