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JennyTeddy

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Reply with quote  #151 
🐾💕

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AZTiger98

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Reply with quote  #152 
JennyTeddy,

Thank you for stopping by and sharing that photo.  It brought a smile to my face. 😉

David

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David

Daddy to beloved fur baby Stormy
08/2003 - 05/19/18
Stormy’s Residency https://www.rainbowsbridge.com/residents/STORM059/Resident.htm
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AZTiger98

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Reply with quote  #153 
Dear Stormy,

Yesterday marked another week since you left.  I still feel an emptiness.  I keep looking when I go in the bedroom, half expecting to see you nestled in the bed.  Then I see Skye, and I remember. 

I miss you, baby girl.  I knew when I brought you home that there would eventually come a day that you wouldn't be here, but its arrival still hit me like a load of bricks. 

I'm hoping I haven't lost a bunch of pictures of you now.  My laptop crashed a couple of weeks ago.  I have to take it by somewhere and see if the information on the hard drive can be retrieved...I dearly hope so.

Skye and Pumpkin had me rolling in laughter last night - that was good to get a smile on my face again...it feels all too rare these days.  5-year old Pumpkin had 5 month old Skye in his mouth by the scruff of her neck and was dragging her around the bedroom and bathroom towards the closet.  Skye was meowing rather unhappily, like, "No! I don't wanna go in there! Helllllllp!"  She finally got loose and ran off.  I don't think you ever did that with Pumpkin, but I think by the time he came along, you were about 10 years old, so maybe you were past all that.

I hope you still look down and see me and remember, and think of me.  I look forward to being reunited with you again one day, sweet girl.  I have lots of nuzzles, ear scratches, and head scratches waiting for you. 😉

I love you, Stormy.  To the end of the known universe and back.

Love,
Daddy

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David

Daddy to beloved fur baby Stormy
08/2003 - 05/19/18
Stormy’s Residency https://www.rainbowsbridge.com/residents/STORM059/Resident.htm
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JennyTeddy

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Reply with quote  #154 
David,

Oh I’m happy it brought a smile to your face! you’re welcome! I saw it and thought of you and your Stormy. 💛

I read your letter to Stormy, the love and bond you two share is sweet. I’m sorry for the heartache you’re going through, when you say you still feel emptiness, I relate so much. I feel emptiness without Teddy here. It’s hard 💔

Your story of Pumpkin & Skye made me smile. So cute. I’m happy to hear Pumpkin and Skye are bringing you laughter 💕

As for your photos, I hope youre able to save them and don’t lose them. Once you’re able to upload them to another computer, I recommend uploading your photos of Stormy to Google Photos, as safe place for your photos and videos just in case anything does happen in the future. It’s free and you can make the albums private. All you need to do is create a gmail account if you don’t already have one. I did it with Teddys photos and videos because I would lose it if I lost all of them.

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catiebee

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Reply with quote  #155 
I so hope the photos are still there, David.

That must have been a sight with Pumpkin toting Skye around like that and her expressing her displeasure! I'm so glad you have her, but I realize things are so different now. And the missing persists... It's so hard.

I so hear you on longing for that future reunion. Really, really hear you.

Hope your week is the best it can be. Comfort to you!

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Catie
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AZTiger98

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Reply with quote  #156 
Dear Stormy,

It's been so long, baby girl.  I'm sorry I've stayed away.  I don't know if part of it is on purpose or not.  I know that probably sounds awful, because in life, you and I were inseparable unless it was unavoidable that we be apart. 

I feel lost these days.  Wanting to come here and write to you, but not knowing or being able to find the words TO write.  Not really sure of the feelings that want to come out.  I do feel happiness when I cuddle the other cats and puppies and watch them play, but as is so often said here, things will never be the same again.  There will always be that hole that your passing left. I can't even find the words to write to others these days, who are hurting just as much, or even more than I am over the loss of a fur baby. 

*sigh* I missed your 3 month angel-fur-sary, too.  Fully intended to light the candles I got for your memorial, and then I forgot.

I hope you are enjoying heaven and waiting eagerly for me - although it's probably going to take quite some time before I get there.  I miss you, baby girl.

I love you to the end of the known universe and back.

Love always,
Daddy


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David

Daddy to beloved fur baby Stormy
08/2003 - 05/19/18
Stormy’s Residency https://www.rainbowsbridge.com/residents/STORM059/Resident.htm
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MissingScooty

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Reply with quote  #157 
David beautiful post. I understand the difficulty writing and hesitancy. For me it's been 8 months and it still hurts but differently  and as you said, words fail me. I too wait to be reunited with my fur baby in heaven and look forward to that, but for now, it is very hard some days/moments. I pray peace for you...
Melissa

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catiebee

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Reply with quote  #158 
Good to see you here, David. 

Hearing you on how hard it can be to write. In one way there is so much to say. In another, words seem completely insufficient. At least to me.

Best to you. And much comfort over Stormy.

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Catie
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AZTiger98

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Reply with quote  #159 
Catie and Melissa,

Thank you both for stopping in last week to reply.  I appreciate it very much.

I hate it that I don't come on here as often.  I know part of it is just that school has started back for the kids, and so much is going on that it seems impossible to come by.  I wonder if part of it, too, is me subconsciously trying to guard my emotions.  I don't think I'm over everything, not by a long shot.  But it's so much easier to just try to patch over the wounds and pretend they don't exist.  And then I wind up in worse shape than before.

I say all that just to say thank you.  I hope each of you is making it through in your own personal journeys as well.

David

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David

Daddy to beloved fur baby Stormy
08/2003 - 05/19/18
Stormy’s Residency https://www.rainbowsbridge.com/residents/STORM059/Resident.htm
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AZTiger98

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Reply with quote  #160 
My Dear Stormy,

Hi again, baby girl.  I miss you so much.  I sometimes wonder if I'm ever going to be over / past / healed from all this, because it just seems like I'm spinning my wheels.

My wounds got torn open a little this morning, albeit unintentionally.  My 7 year old son started asking what happened to you and why you went to heaven.  I started feeling tears welling up and so I gave some very short answer and left for work.  I can't even think about talking about it, because I'm afraid that I'll wind up saying something I'll regret (because believe me, I have had conversations in my head for the last 4 months that I could have / should have had back when everything happened).  And that will just create more problems.  I wasn't going to be harsh with my son, he's 7 - he was mostly likely just honestly curious, and he doesn't realize how much all of this is hurting me.  But if I hadn't walked out when I did, I'd have said something directed towards another person, and I can't deal with that and the certain aftermath right now...maybe not ever...

Skye is doing so many of the things you used to do - she just doesn't always stay in the bed and wake up with me in the mornings.  But this morning, she came into the bathroom and sat on the counter while I got dressed and brushed my teeth.

I'm stuck again, because I have no idea what else to write at the moment.  Just that my whole head and heart are flooded with the memories of you and the sadness that you're no longer here.

Maybe I should look into the pet loss support groups around Tucson again...and see if I can't find a way to go to their meetings for a while...because I feel like I want to fall apart right now.

I love you, Stormy - and I always will.  As far as the ends of the known universe and back.

Love,
Daddy

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David

Daddy to beloved fur baby Stormy
08/2003 - 05/19/18
Stormy’s Residency https://www.rainbowsbridge.com/residents/STORM059/Resident.htm
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catiebee

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Reply with quote  #161 
Hi David,

Thank you so much for your beautiful, heartfelt post you recently wrote to me. Such comforting words of support--and greatly appreciated!

Your latest letter to Stormy pulled on my heartstrings very much. It is tough, feeling that your pain isn't healing as much or as quickly as you would have hoped and feeling a bit stuck with ongoing grief. Sometimes it's as though the grief has a mind and will of its own. Not to mention time table. I don't mean this to sound trite and I use this phrase myself quite often.... that it kind of is what it is. I can't take a blowtorch to dissolve it, it, can't open a sluice gate to release it, can't fix it.  It's as though we can only abide with it, be with the grief when it is with us. And feel the loss, unfortunately. The hardest part.

My heart always hurts for you when I consider things you alluded to in early posts, as well as in this last letter. I am so sorry that you were pressured, that certain things were said and done where you may have felt robbed of choices you might otherwise have pursued. Conflictedness mixed with grief is emotionally torturous and I dearly wish that in time you can have relief. I don't pretend to have answers, especially if going there in conversation isn't possible, but your heart deserves to heal

Sweet Skye! I'm so glad she came into your life, David. I hope she continues to bring you joy and more joy.

For sure, the sadness is normal for what you've lived through. Though I wish it wasn't afflicting you and didn't still feel so very raw. Stormy meant so much to you! So much. 

I don't know about the one near you. The one in-person pet loss group I attended was in another town.  FWIW, nearly everyone who shared anything at all capsized into tears for a few moments. It was a safe place to share tearful stories. And hugs. 

I wish I had a bottle of relief to hand you. If only!  But I wish you much comfort in your journey, much soothing for your pain.  Take gentle care of yourself.


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Catie
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AZTiger98

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Reply with quote  #162 
Hi Catie,

Thank you for the reply. I’m sorry it’s taken me so long to respond, but I’ve been dealing with multiple issues lately. Broke my ankle mid-September, had surgery the next week, and then got rehospitalized with multiple PEs in both lungs. Back home, 3.5 weeks to getting my cast off, but just dealing with all sorts of crap. Still missing Stormy and how she’d cuddle with me. Skye is (I think) afraid of all the medical stuff like the walker and knee scooter, doesn’t come to me often...though she does sleep on the couch fairly close to me, and follows me around the house. Got other things weighing on my heart, which I’m sure aren’t helping any, and probably don’t belong on this forum, so I’ll spare everyone those details.

Anyway, maybe I’ll be coming around more often, this place is more of a haven of peace for me. I feel bad that I dropped away from everyone. And I’ll still get some things out to Stormy, too

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David

Daddy to beloved fur baby Stormy
08/2003 - 05/19/18
Stormy’s Residency https://www.rainbowsbridge.com/residents/STORM059/Resident.htm
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Tankie12

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Reply with quote  #163 
Wow David! You’ve been through a lot I’m so sorry! I hope you’re fully mobile before to long. I know how horrible it is to not be able to do everything you want and have to have help from others.
I’m sure Skye is nervous around some of the new items you’re having to use, you know how kitty’s are about anything out of the norm. It won’t last forever, I know it feels like it though.
I know your response is to Catie but I wanted to let you know you haven’t been forgotten by others as well. Take extra good care of you!,,,,,

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AZTiger98

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Reply with quote  #164 
Hi Lynn,

Glad you chimed in. Was mainly addressing just Catie since she’d replied to my last post, but always glad to hear from anyone. It’s definitely rough.

Yeah, I think Skye will eventually start coming back to me when the equipment starts going away. Though she doesn’t run from it like she used to, so maybe it just takes time.

Definitely not fun going from independence to depending on people for other stuff. I hate having to do it, for sure.

I will definitely try to take care of myself...gotta get back to full speed again and get off this couch. You take care as well!

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David

Daddy to beloved fur baby Stormy
08/2003 - 05/19/18
Stormy’s Residency https://www.rainbowsbridge.com/residents/STORM059/Resident.htm
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JennyTeddy

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Reply with quote  #165 
Hi David,

Thank you for your thoughtful message on Teddy’s thread. I have been thinking of you and Stormy lately. Wondering how you have been. I read your previous messages here one Stormys thread. Don’t feel bad for dropping away. It happens. Grief and the things in life throws at us really beats us down. It can be hard to write, read, reply, or do other things when we are just dealing with so much. It’s overwhelming. I’m so sorry you’re enduring so much lately on top of missing Stormy. My heart hurts for you. I know how much you miss Stormy and how much your heart is hurting. Grief is so painful and exhausting. It takes everything out of us, so when other things are added on top of it, it just feels terribly unbearable. Latley it feels like life doesn’t give us a break. I too have a lot weighing on my heart. The grief of losing Teddy hasn’t gotten easier, time has made it more painful and harder. I still cry everyday. I feel paralyzed in my grief. Going through things in life where our babies would be there to comfort us is also what makes this hard. They are our rock. Right now I know Stormy would be cuddling, comforting and taking the best care of you. Stormy is watching over you. I hope for a fast recovery and wishing you comfort through this hard journey of grief. Like Lynn said, you and Stormy havent been forgotten. Take care 🐾 Hugs

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