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catiebee

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Reply with quote  #136 
Just looking in on you, David. I hope things are going along as well as possible for you. You're in my thoughts.
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Catie
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MyBabyX10

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Reply with quote  #137 
I’m so sorry for your loss! It’s only been 3 nights for me, I feel like exactly as you do, dark clouds! The pain is unbearable! We are ALL in this together.
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AZTiger98

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Reply with quote  #138 
Sylvia, Catie, Denise, and MyBabyX10,

Thank you all for your words of encouragement and just for dropping in.  I feel bad that I've been letting my daily writing to Stormy slack off, but I think in some ways I was trying to just right the ship, so to speak.

I definitely plan to get some time by myself to just search or grieve or whatever I need to do relating to Stormy.  With school starting back up, there might be more opportunities for me to do that on my days off after I've dropped off all the kids.  Even if nothing more than to just go down to the lake and sit for a while or walk the perimeter.

My heart skipped a beat this afternoon.  Even though I know there's no chance we're going to get another kitten right now (we have our hands full with the 3 cats we've got, and the 3 puppies), I can't help myself but to go look at the local humane society website periodically at the adoptable kittens < 1 year old.  When I went to the page just now and scrolled down about 3 rows, clear as day, there was a photo that looked like it could've been my Stormy in her babyhood years.  And - this is the kicker, the name the HS gave her was "Stormy."  I half think I should go download the photo and save it off...

I hope all are having a better week this week and able to find the joys in small things.  May the UGAs, triggers, and all other negatives avoid us...

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David

Daddy to beloved fur baby Stormy
08/2003 - 05/19/18
Stormy’s Residency https://www.rainbowsbridge.com/residents/STORM059/Resident.htm
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catiebee

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Reply with quote  #139 
David, isn't that something? The listing for the young furry one that looks soooo much like your baby and even their naming her Stormy! Wow, I'm sure you did a double take and a half!!

Righting the ship is more than understandable and needing this place more and less at times is also understood. Just want to ensure you have ongoing support here, when you could use a kind word.

Hear, hear, to having UGAs and other serious grief events avoid us!  I certainly wish that for you, along with and and all "space" you need in which to mull and process things. Just even to air your head. That sounds goofy, but hopefully you know what I mean. And sometimes we just need a few somber minutes or memory minutes or bits of time when thoughts and feelings near the edges of our hearts and minds can come in for a landing and gain our attention. 

It does sound like you guys have a full house, pet-wise, and I hope the presence and love of the critters gives you a measure of comfort. I dearly realize it's not the same and things won't ever be the same and my heart continues to go out to you over that. 

How is bonding with Skye going? Will she still be "yours" in a sense?

I don't want to fail to thank you for all your kind words and wishes on my own thread, David. You've been a gem.

I hope this weekend will be restorative for you and that the days will flow gently.

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Catie
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AZTiger98

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Reply with quote  #140 
Hi Catie,

Thanks for dropping by - and for wanting to make sure I have support available when I need it - that is much appreciated.  Especially since I never know from one day to the next when something is going to trigger me.  Nothing has lately (well, except for seeing the baby Stormy picture), but I'd be crazy if I said I knew nothing ever will.

That WAS something to see that pic, and see her name.  And she's only about 9 weeks old, tool...oh, I bet she's a cutie... 😉

Yes, time with the other pets does help.  They're always ready for attention and cuddles. 😉  You're right, they'll never be the same as Stormy, but they do their best to keep right on loving me in their own ways.

I'm bonding with Skye more.  Sbe will always be "mine" in a sense - my boys are all too young to really care for pets to have one of their own, and my girls have already had it explained to them that, while I may not gripe if I see them petting or holding Skye (as long as they're not going in our room to get her out or taking her in their room - that's a whole different issue with them), but that when it comes down to it, she's "my" kitten.  She's such a sweetie - I get up in the morning, she starts pouncing on my feet under the bed covers, then follows me into the bathroom while I get ready for work.  And when I come home in the evenings, as soon as I go back in the bedroom, she's asking to be picked up and cuddled.  Once I pick her up and she is snuggled in my arms, or up over my shoulder, she starts purring like a loud car motor.  She's also taking to trying to climb up and sit on my shoulder, like a parrot.  Of course, then she starts trying to walk across my neck to the other side of me, and I wind up bending over to keep her from falling off, so then I have to try and unload her onto the bed so I can actually go somewhere.  The best part is, she seemed to pick up pretty quickly that when she's playing with me, she isn't supposed to use her claws at all...I rarely, if ever, get pricked or scratched by her.

Thanks again for dropping by - and I hope you have a restful weekend as well.


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David

Daddy to beloved fur baby Stormy
08/2003 - 05/19/18
Stormy’s Residency https://www.rainbowsbridge.com/residents/STORM059/Resident.htm
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JennyTeddy

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Reply with quote  #141 
David,

I was stopping by to see how you’re doing and just read your story of the kitty you saw that looked similar to Stormy and with the same name! Wow if that happened to me with a dog that look so similar to Teddy and with the same name, I would be so emotional. I know what you mean by not knowing when your emotions will be triggered. That’s how I am. Sending you fresh hugs. Know Stormy is watching over you 💙 I enjoy reading our thead of Stormy. Continue sharing stories and photos of your baby. I know how it is to slack off on the daily writing. I think it’s when we are lost for words in our grief and then one day we start writing again. You’re always in my thoughts. Hugs 🐾

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catiebee

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Reply with quote  #142 
David, 

It is so true. Sometimes grief has no rhyme or reason that we can figure out. It just is. The waxing, the waning. Yep, the triggers. It has quite a bag of tricks, none of them fun.

I much enjoyed reading about little Skye and her antics. I'm glad to know your heart can wrap all around her as yours, though other family members enjoy her. She sounds like a real peach! I love that she climbs you and claims her perch on your shoulders. It's so cool that she's mindful with her claws to not extend them while playing. A smart, little rascal! I'm sure she is thriving on your affection and I hope the cuddle times with her are helping to soothe your heart a little bit at a time. I do know, I so realize, it's not the same. But I smile to know you have her in your life and can look forward to her special greetings early in the morning and when you return home from work. 

I was looking for something else but just stumbled into this quote, which I'll bet you have seen but might enjoy again: "I have felt cats rubbing their faces against mine and touching my cheek with claws carefully sheathed. These things, to me, are expressions of love." -James Herriot


I hope this weekend treats you kindly!

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Catie
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AZTiger98

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Reply with quote  #143 
JennyTeddy and Catie,

My apologies for delaying to respond for so long. The kids starting school last week had me a bit frazzled.

I’m doing better these days. I still miss Stormy, the house still feels a bit empty, but Skye is doing her best to make me feel well-loved. As I type this, she’s in my arms, licking me all over.

Catie, that quote is so appropriate! Skye does that so well...constantly touches me with her claws sheathed, no matter what.

Jenny, I will keep trying to do that. Thank you for the encouragement.

I apologize to all for not keeping up better with threads. I’m lost at what to write a lot of the time, but know that I do hope each of you is healing day by day.


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David

Daddy to beloved fur baby Stormy
08/2003 - 05/19/18
Stormy’s Residency https://www.rainbowsbridge.com/residents/STORM059/Resident.htm
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JennyTeddy

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Reply with quote  #144 
Oh you don’t need to apologize. It gets tough to write and putting or feelings/emotions into words on paper or this thread. I’m happy you have Skye to comfort you. I know you miss Stormy so much. Dealing with anything in life when enduring grief is terribly hard.
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AZTiger98

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Reply with quote  #145 
Dear Stormy,

Eleven long weeks yesterday. Eleven weeks since I held you in my arms for the last time, sobbing, as your life slipped away. I miss you so much, baby girl. I wish you hadn’t had to leave me. Especially the way you had to leave. Try as I am, I’m not sure if I will ever get over that. My mind can still hear all the words spoken and see the images of you on that final day, and even now, as I let my guard down to write this letter to you, my eyes are filling with tears at those thoughts.

It’s true that in some ways I think I’m doing better. I don’t have the urge to burst into tears upon coming home and entering my bedroom anymore. And I can hold Skye and love on her and allow her to love on me without feeling guilty about it. But in many ways, my heart feels just as empty as it did eleven weeks ago after we came home without you.

Someone mentioned in a different thread some time ago that it would be so cool if there were visiting hours at Rainbow Bridge. Oh, how awesome that would be - the only thing is, I would never want to leave, even knowing I could come back the next day.

I guess I have to go for now, though I don’t want to. I’m looking forward to being reunited with you in Heaven someday, and never having to part again.

I love you, Stormy. To the ends of the known universe and back.

Love,
Daddy


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David

Daddy to beloved fur baby Stormy
08/2003 - 05/19/18
Stormy’s Residency https://www.rainbowsbridge.com/residents/STORM059/Resident.htm
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MAlcindor

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Reply with quote  #146 
David, what a beautiful love letter to your little girl Stormy, she is smiling down on you knowing how much you still love her.

I know what you mean about doing better but the pain is still there. I think we just learn to live with it. It's so amazing to me how sometimes I could feel like I'm ok but then something will trigger a memory and I can't hold back the tears. It's wonderful you have Skye to shower with love, I'm sure Stormy is happy about that. 

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https://www.rainbowsbridge.com/residents/MAX42339/Resident.htm
https://www.rainbowsbridge.com/residents/BAILE490/Resident.htm

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Rookiesmama

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Reply with quote  #147 
David,
I love that saying about the Rainbow Bridge.... they'd have to kick me out too! I agree with Malcindor, somehow we just adapt to this pain. Sending you a hug!!
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catiebee

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Reply with quote  #148 
I agree, no apologies needed here. Life takes over, needs change, and hopefully we all feel better in time. 😉

So good to hear that you're doing well. And it's fabulous that Stormy has settled in and is a very lovey dovey kitty. You must have been drawn to just the right kitten!

I am so sorry the last day for Stormy and the way it came about are still so hard to bear. It's most understandable that your heart is still extremely tender about that.

I just wanted to stop by and say it's good to have word from you and my heartfelt hope is for you to keep healing and thriving and soaking up love from baby Skye!

Best to you!





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Catie
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ez

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Reply with quote  #149 
Quote:
Originally Posted by AZTiger98
My baby girl in her prime

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ez

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Reply with quote  #150 
David
Your little girl is so beautiful thank you for sharing her. My precious baby left me Saturday night I would post a picture of her but I can’t look at it yet.Im absolutely positive Stormy knew she was daddy’s girl I see it in her eyes she knew how much she was loved. I truly feel your pain my friend and I share it with you for your loss and mine. We will continue to live missing a large part of who we were. I would love to tell you it’s gets better but it really doesn’t. She was beautiful and I truly hope that someday somehow you will be able to remember her without the stabbing pain in the middle of your chest. Peace my friend
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