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AZTiger98

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Reply with quote  #91 
Marina,

I don't know how I missed that I had failed to reply to you yesterday, but thank you for your prayers and words of encouragement.  They are (as always) much appreciated.

I think I agree with you, it has gotten 'easier', but not necessarily 'better'.  I don't think it will be 'better' here on earth...not unless we were able to hold our precious furbabies again and know they will never leave us.  But, alas, that won't happen here.

I hope you are having a good week and able to enjoy yourself in the midst of your grieving Mitookie.

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David

Daddy to beloved fur baby Stormy
08/2003 - 05/19/18
Stormy’s Residency https://www.rainbowsbridge.com/residents/STORM059/Resident.htm
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JennyTeddy

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Reply with quote  #92 
David,

I still remember when you posted on my thread when I first posted about Teddy. I wanted to stop by and see how you are doing. You and Stormy have been in my thoughts and prayers. Its painful to not have or babies with us anymore. My heart continues to go out to you. I wish you many blessings of comfort and sending you warm hugs.

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AZTiger98

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Reply with quote  #93 
Hi JennyTeddy,

Thank you for checking in on me - I'm hanging in there, making it day by day.  I think my mind is starting to figure out how to block out things enough that I can actually get through the days relatively well, but yet still hold on to the memories of Stormy.  Doesn't mean grief storms and UGAs don't hit me every now and then, but at least lately they either haven't been hitting with the same frequency that they used to. 

However, I still desperately miss my baby girl.  Things just feel a little "off" around the house, and it's taking me longer to get to sleep at night, because I don't have Stormy snuggled up behind my knees like she used to be.

I hope things are going well with you and that you will find a measure of peace today in your moments of grief as well.. 

I like your tagline on your posts - I have that very thing inscribed on the memorial dog tag I got after Stormy passed.  And it's so true.

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David

Daddy to beloved fur baby Stormy
08/2003 - 05/19/18
Stormy’s Residency https://www.rainbowsbridge.com/residents/STORM059/Resident.htm
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AZTiger98

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Reply with quote  #94 
Dearest Stormy,

It's the first day of summer.  You never used to like summer much, just because it's so hot here, and also because the kids are home more during the summer since school is out until August.  So you spent a lot of this time in the bedroom hiding out from them all.

I miss you so much, Stormy.

I miss how you would consistently rub against my legs when I would go into the bathroom in the mornings for a shower.
I miss how you would be on the bathroom counter immediately after my shower, and you would sit there and watch me shave and brush my teeth.
I miss seeing you trotting past me in the kitchen with your tail up like a little flagpole, saying, "Hi Daddy!"
I miss playing fetch with you
I miss you detecting that I was awake in the mornings and climbing on top of me to meow and say, "You're awake! Hi!"
I miss getting to give you a kiss on your head and an ear scratch every morning before I left for work.
I miss you climbing up to sit next to me as I would play the piano
I miss you walking all around me when I was working on the laptop at home.
I miss you staring out the window or patio door and chattering away at the bugs and birds
I miss you wrestling with Pumpkin.
I miss tickling your tummy with my shoe and you grabbing my shoe with your paws and teeth

I hope it's a pleasant summer day at the Rainbow Bridge. I hold on to the hope of being reunited with you again one day.

With more love than my heart is able to hold,
Daddy

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David

Daddy to beloved fur baby Stormy
08/2003 - 05/19/18
Stormy’s Residency https://www.rainbowsbridge.com/residents/STORM059/Resident.htm
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catiebee

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Reply with quote  #95 
Hi David,

I hope your day has been a gentle one.

That is a beautiful list of lovely, unique things you greatly miss about Stormy. It makes me smile, picturing in my mind what an engaging creature she was and how she was very much your girl.  It also is not hard to imagine how deeply her loss continues to throb in your heart. I think it is not only their precious individuality and presence--them as a whole--that we miss. But it is very much those singular behaviors, habits, attributes, things like you listed, that pierce our hearts again and again with their absence.  The bathroom not feeling right since she's not where she would always be. Such a stark contrast. It sure takes time to adjust. I still sigh and shake my head often at the sweet things that have gone missing here.

I trust that strength and comfort enough for each day's need comes your way. Encouragement, too! Hope you're soon able to get to sleep better and can rest.



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-Missing Marissa deeply
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JennyTeddy

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Reply with quote  #96 
Quote:
Originally Posted by AZTiger98
Hi JennyTeddy,

Thank you for checking in on me - I'm hanging in there, making it day by day.  I think my mind is starting to figure out how to block out things enough that I can actually get through the days relatively well, but yet still hold on to the memories of Stormy.  Doesn't mean grief storms and UGAs don't hit me every now and then, but at least lately they either haven't been hitting with the same frequency that they used to. 

However, I still desperately miss my baby girl.  Things just feel a little "off" around the house, and it's taking me longer to get to sleep at night, because I don't have Stormy snuggled up behind my knees like she used to be.

I hope things are going well with you and that you will find a measure of peace today in your moments of grief as well.. 

I like your tagline on your posts - I have that very thing inscribed on the memorial dog tag I got after Stormy passed.  And it's so true.



Thank you 💛 and I can relate when you say things feel off because it really really does and it not easy to ignore that feeling. I simply can’t. and I also relate and totally understand when you say it’s taking a little longer to sleep because you don’t have Stormy to snuggle with. I’ve been sleeping horrible as well because I don’t have Teddy to snuggle with. It’s very hard. As you know. Just making it Day by day and it’s not easy, crying everyday. You’re in my thoughts and prayers and sending you hugs 💕

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AZTiger98

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Reply with quote  #97 
Dear Stormy,

Today is 5 weeks without you. As someone said earlier this week, it may get easier each day, but it doesn’t necessarily get better. I miss you dearly. In many ways, losing you has felt like I lost a child. So many memories of you, and so much heartache, wishing you were still here. Wondering what you would think about various changes in the house, like Skye coming (of course, if you were still here, Skye wouldn’t be, but I still wonder what you would think about her).

The attached picture is the only one I can still find of you when I came home and found you lying in the floor, surrounded by toys, as if you had had a wild party while I was out. It makes me smile a little.

I love you, baby girl. Always and forever, until eternity has passed.

Love,
Daddy

Attached Images
jpeg AF727E70-D38D-4134-B088-479453572F7F.jpeg (19.25 KB, 4 views)


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David

Daddy to beloved fur baby Stormy
08/2003 - 05/19/18
Stormy’s Residency https://www.rainbowsbridge.com/residents/STORM059/Resident.htm

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AZTiger98

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Reply with quote  #98 
JennyTeddy,

It’s definitely not easy.. I hope you are having better days and finding peace and strength to get through the grief.

Catie,

Thank you. You’re right, I think the hardest part of missing her is missing her individuality. Most any pet is going to fill the void for wanting unconditional companionship and love, but those individual things are what takes that relationship and moves it past the “pet-owner” stage. She was indeed a special girl.

Thank you both for the encouragement. It is as always much appreciated.

David


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David

Daddy to beloved fur baby Stormy
08/2003 - 05/19/18
Stormy’s Residency https://www.rainbowsbridge.com/residents/STORM059/Resident.htm
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catiebee

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Reply with quote  #99 
She is beautiful, David. Thank you for sharing the photo with us. That must have been a stitch, seeing that she had strewn toys about that day. 

I understand and relate to the loss being like that of a child.  Though I'm not a parent, I certainly felt heaps of nurturing, protective, and delighted feelings over my girl.  As I know you did!  I would coo and coo over her with a high-pitched voice and a certain cadence reserved just for her. There is such a connection that seems to flow directly from heart to heart with beloved pets. Without interference. Eyes meet eyes and electrical currents of love zap back and forth.

I have many times thought that we relate to our pets throughout their lives, as though they were little toddlers, since that's around the age they seem to emulate. Their innocence, unfettered joy and a their spark of hilarity all remind me of little kids. As does their persistence where treats are concerned. At least, dogs are unrelenting if they know there's a pattern for goodies. I don't know whether kitties are wired the same.

Hoping your heart is comforted today.



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Purzel

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Reply with quote  #100 
David,
You posted such a lovely picture with such a happy one, Stormy in pure joy. I love that picture - thank you so much for sharing this. I had to smile at the "You're awake! Hi!" as it reminded me of Max... I often acted as if I was still asleep. It never worked - he knew. I can fully relate how much you miss this joy because their joy automatically brought joy to us. I remember how much I laughed, David, each and every day. It is only natural we miss this so much. As for myself I cannot really express in words the bond I shared with Max, all I know is that it was very special and I had never felt like this before.

I hope your heart is filled with smiles today over the happy memories you both were so blessed to share.

My good thoughts are with you

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Silvia (with Max forever in my heart)

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AZTiger98

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Reply with quote  #101 
Silvia and Catie,

Thank you so much for your kind and encouraging words on your posts.  I'm sorry it's taken me a couple of days to get back on and respond.  Part of me thinks that was just due to life in general being kind of hectic - family was in town last week, this week has just been completely crazy for me.

Silvia, like you with Max, I don't know how much I can express my bond with Stormy - I just know that she was closer to me than probably anyone else has ever been.  I know that may sound bad, given that I'm married (and I honestly do love my wife and kids, even if they occasionally drive me nuts or upset me), but it's true.  When it was just me and Stormy, I never had one single day when I thought, "I wish I could stay at work longer tonight.", I knew without fail that she would be waiting on me when I got home every night, happy to see me, ready to play and snuggle.

Catie, you mentioned having protective feelings.  Oh, man, I never felt those more strongly than when my wife and I had let Stormy go stay with my in-laws for a few days when my wife and I went out of town (I can't remember where we were going, but for some reason, we weren't getting a cat sitter.  So my wife calls me from work after we're back, before we'd been able to get over to my in-laws' house to pick up Stormy, and tells me that Stormy had escaped out the front door earlier that day and no one knew where she was.  I started bawling.  I literally had shut down everything at my desk at work and had grabbed my keys and was heading to my car to drive 5 hours to see if I could find her, when my wife called back and said they found Stormy, that apparently she'd snuck back in the house when the door was open and was hiding in the bed.  I have never felt so relieved.

I hope today finds you both well.  Find some peace today in the midst of grief.


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David

Daddy to beloved fur baby Stormy
08/2003 - 05/19/18
Stormy’s Residency https://www.rainbowsbridge.com/residents/STORM059/Resident.htm
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AZTiger98

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Reply with quote  #102 
My Dear Stormy,

I'm sorry it's been a few days since I've come by, baby girl.  I promise, Daddy's not forgetting you - you still occupy my mind and heart every day.  I'm just exhausted and haven't had much energy to think of things to write to you.

I hope you're having a good time at Rainbow Bridge and that you've made a lot of friends. 

Skye is picking up all your old habits -it's kind of funny.  She's started figuring out when I wake up in the mornings and she climbs on top of me like you did, walks up my body, and gets about 6 inches from my face and starts meowing and purring at me.  She waits just outside the shower door, too - although it's not really to follow me around and make sure I get dressed and shaved, it's more so she can attack my feet and ankles when I come out of the shower...but it's still cute.  She's looking more and more like you physically every day. 

I miss you, baby girl.  I still have your ashes on top of my chest of drawers, along with your last pawprints - I haven't set anything up yet, because it's going to require some rearranging of stuff up there before I can really set anything up, so that I don't have to worry about things being knocked off or messed up.  And I still find myself looking for you or listening for your little meow at dinner (even though you never ate the food from the table, you always wanted to come smell it and get petted).  I'll figure out a way eventually to get that container necklace filled - I carry it with me every day.  The container is just hard to open, and I'm scared I'll either mess it up before I've got an urn to transfer your ashes to, or I'll do something wrong and your ashes will go flying all over the room and upset me even more.  Your mama doesn't want to help me open it up, because she says it creeps her out...I don't know if that's the truth or not, to be honest.

I still can't bring myself to print out all your pictures...I think they're going to reduce me to a blubbering lump...

I still feel that deep down guilt that I maybe didn't do everything I could have done to try and help you get better.  How do I ever forgive myself for that?  For not pushing the issue when I didn't think what had been agreed upon was being done?  :(

I have to go now, Stormy, but I will keep coming back and writing you.  I don't ever want to forget you or feel like I've 'pushed you out' of my heart.  You never were 'just a cat' - you were my baby girl, my fur-daughter, my feline soulmate.  I hope to see you again one day down the road and never have to part from you.

With more love than my heart can hold.

Love,
Daddy

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David

Daddy to beloved fur baby Stormy
08/2003 - 05/19/18
Stormy’s Residency https://www.rainbowsbridge.com/residents/STORM059/Resident.htm
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GrievingRemi

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Reply with quote  #103 
Hi David, I'm so sorry for your loss, your story brings me to tears.  I just put my beautiful CKCS Remi down yesterday and have been agonizing ever since on whether it was the right decision or whether I should have waited at least one more day.  But she had been a tough warrior against heart disease for 3.5 years and options seemed to have run out.  It's killing me to keep reliving those hours in my head, same as you have been doing.  I randomly found this forum and have already found comfort in sharing and reading.  I hope for some peace and some comfort for you soon.
Dana


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AZTiger98

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Reply with quote  #104 
Dana,

Thank you.  I agree, finding this forum has been nothing short of a godsend for me.  I hope you find some peace and comfort soon as well.  Feel free to come back by this thread any time.

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David

Daddy to beloved fur baby Stormy
08/2003 - 05/19/18
Stormy’s Residency https://www.rainbowsbridge.com/residents/STORM059/Resident.htm
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AZTiger98

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Reply with quote  #105 
And now a UGA is slapping me squarely in the face...greaaaaat....
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David

Daddy to beloved fur baby Stormy
08/2003 - 05/19/18
Stormy’s Residency https://www.rainbowsbridge.com/residents/STORM059/Resident.htm
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