I understand all too well. I lost my Lola girl two weeks and four days ago. It was sudden - completely unexpected. There had been absolutely nothing wrong with her - she hadn't been sick or anything. And then within the span of half a day, she was gone. I'd NEVER lost a pup like this. In the past, it had always been our choice to let them go. We would have time to prepare for it. But THIS, this was awful. Just...having my beautiful girl taken from me - from us. And that hardly a week after the adoption day anniversary of her and her "brother", Pippin. Seven years. Only seven years. I had wanted at LEAST seven MORE with her.
And like with your Molly, Lola was my special girl. She was effortless. She was never sick a day in her life, and she was so, SO smart. She would learn things so easily. And she was incredibly polite and well-behaved. All of it without me having to even teach her. She just WAS such a easy-going girl. And she was happy. And loving. She was spontaneous and silly, doing things literally every day that would make me and my parents laugh. And for ALL of those things, that made our lives so full...to suddenly be gone? It's the WORST pain of my life.
We still have Pippin. But Pippin is completely the opposite of Lola, in many ways. HE's always been the one that I worry about, health-wise. He has anxiety issues, skin problems, digestion and anal gland problems. And I've explained it on here before, but Pippin is also difficult to read. Lola had a way of making you understand exactly what she needed. But Pippin is...not like that. Seven plus years, and I STILL don't know what he needs, sometimes. And yes, it makes me feel incredibly guilty. Because it feels like I cannot care for Pippin the way he deserves. Like I'm letting him down, because I love Lola differently than I love him.
I have also thought, that I can't imagine ever getting another dog, again. For one, it's bad enough that I will have to go through all of this again, one day, with Pippin. I REALLY don't want to have to go through it AGAIN. But also...I don't think I'll ever love another living being as much as I love Lola. She was my EVERYTHING. She was literally the BEST thing in my life. My heart and my soul. And it's so, SO hard, having to go on, without that bright, beautiful light in my life.
I am very thankful to have found this forum, though. And that we all here have each other.