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Michelemh

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Reply with quote  #31 
I have been crying today. Yesterday wasn't bad but today is. Usually at some time each day I cry. It is always just under the surface and I can cry at anytime. It is hard waking up and she is not here, it is hard at her dinner time around 4:00. She loved to eat on time and then we went for a walk. Then she had dinner with us. Night time is hard. I don't want another dog. She was perfect. No problems, could eat anything, no allergies, was fine alone and no problems with her. We had such a strong bond. I won't find that again. If I get a puppy, I have all the training and socialization to do. She was done all that and ready to go. It is so hard. So sorry to you. I get depressed also. I don't take medication. I also get anxiety. It felt like home and comfortable with her here. Now nothing.
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Michelemh

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Reply with quote  #32 
I was also making my reservations for next year when we go away. She always came and I just can't imagine being there without her. She came with us for 18 years. Every trail we walked with her. I have such a heaviness and sadness thinking about her not being there. She is a part of everything we saw and did there.
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Marlene8817

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Reply with quote  #33 
You were very blessed to have such a strong and healthy girl for so long, she really loved you and you took such good care of her.  Sounds like she had such an amazing life!  We should all be so lucky..I think the same thing, we had such a bond, I knew everything she wanted, we were in such tune with each other.  Getting another dog would be hard to have to start all over again, I certainly can't do that now.  I hope you feel better tomorrow, try to do something nice for yourself this week...it may help, it may not.  Usually I feel ok for a bit, then I just feel sad again.  I was on my way to the store last week and had to drive by the park, I just parked my car and sat there and remembered all the years of going there...first when she was a puppy and could run all day long, she just loved it, and as the years went on, not so much running around, but just walking and smelling EVERYTHING!  We would just mostly sit in the sun, eating lunch and relaxing the past couple of years, always together, my little bubba..I love you Molly...
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Marlene Weber
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Michelemh

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Reply with quote  #34 
We did things that also the last couple of years. She couldn't walk far and she was so slow. So sorry to you also. You must have had her a long time.
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BorderCollieLover

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Reply with quote  #35 
Michelemh:

  I can certainly understand. I have good days and bad days. I really miss my Shelby so very much. It hurts. We had a long life together and I am so appreciative of that but I thought that there could've been more. I just couldn't bring another dog into my life now. The way I'm feeling right now, I don't want another dog eating in Shelby's spot in kitchen. I don't want another dog trying to warm up to me and trying to steal my heart. I know that wouldn't be a healthy situation for all concerned. Maybe, one day I will feel differently but right now, I'm still hanging on to my little girl's relationship with me. It was a special time in my life and I need to embrace that. 

Jim

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Jim Miller
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BorderCollieLover

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Reply with quote  #36 
Marlene:

  Yoiur recollections of your beloved Molly are beautiful. You said you sat by the park where you guys used to hang out together and thought back anout your seocial times together. I do the exact same thing. I see Shelby everywhere I go. Probably because I took her everywhere I go. I would've taken her inside the grocery store if it was permitted. Molly had a wonderful life with you. You and her were so fortunate to have had each other. 

Jim

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Jim Miller
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Marlene8817

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Reply with quote  #37 
Yes,we are all so fortunate to have had them, they brought such joy and happiness, I would have done anything for her and I did..She was this live little being that I took care of for 13 years, through all of her cancer treatments for 17 months, I never left her, she was doing well until her kidney's weren't..it was such a shock, it happened so fast..it's been so hard.  I've never loved anything more and never been so heartbroken.  6 weeks of pure misery, I feel no joy whatsoever... 
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Marlene Weber
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BorderCollieLover

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Reply with quote  #38 
Marlene:

  You've been through a lot. We pet lovers are a unique bunch. We love hard and we grieve hard when our special relationships are no more (in the physical sense). Today is exactly (5) weeks since my Shelby left me. The pain is still excruiating and probably will be for a long time.  People keep asking me, "Jim, are you going to get another dog?" This is what I tell them. "You don't EVER replace a dog like Shelby. Not ever. She was my BFF, my confidante, my (4) legged anti-depressant, my Soul Mate, my exercise partner and so much more."  Besides I don't want another dog touching Shelby's bowls or toys (Yes, I saved them all). They were her's and her's exclusively." Maybe, one day I will open my heart to another Border Collie but I can't do it now. i know that there are lots of worthy dogs out there that need a forever home. These are wonderful, loving dogs that through no fault of their own have fallen into circumstances which have landed them into rescue shelters. I feel bad for them. Unfortunately, they need a loving human who has an open heart filled with compassion. I'm not that person right now. I have a loving heart but it is filled with grief and sorrow over my Shelby. I didn't own Shelby - she owned me. I miss her so much. Marlene, I hope you find some peace over your loss. Molly was a special dog and you have every right to grieve as much as you want for as long as you want. Stay strong.

Jim

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Jim Miller
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Michelemh

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Reply with quote  #39 
Hi Jim and Marlene - I feel the exact same way as Jim described. I still have all her toys, bowls, medicine, food, treats and her beds. Her bed is next to mine and I see if every day and every morning. I used to look over at her in the morning and if she was awake wave to her. Mine passed away September 9. Is that your date Jim? Mine is five weeks today. I sort of get annoyed when someone asks if I am getting another dog. No dog can replace her. She was perfect. We had a bond a won't have again. We knew each other so well. This is so hard. Another day with a lump in my throat and my stomach.
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Marlene8817

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Reply with quote  #40 
Thank you Jim, people keep asking me too...how can you just replace the love of your life in a month, it's not a gold fish!  Would you replace your wife or husband in a month. Love is love no matter if it's human or animal. I feel you love your animal more in a different way.  I held her and kissed her and told her how much I loved her at least 50 times a day, you don't do that with humans and don't just go out and get another one so soon, at least for us, would not be a good idea.  Yes, so many dogs need their forever home, but when the human is ready to open their heart again.  I couldn't look at her things anymore, so I did donate them to the shelter here by my house, kept a couple of things..Today is hard...Maybe since we are talking, our dogs are playing with each other and telling wonderful stories..😉  I hope so!
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Marlene Weber
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Marlene8817

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Reply with quote  #41 
Hi Jim and Michele, I was just checking in this week to see how you are doing..Had a tough weekend and a tough day already.  I still feel no joy and don't want too either, I just miss her so much...life is hard right now, my heart is still very much broken...I get out and do things, but can't wait to come home.  Anyway, just wanted to see how you both were doing?
Marlene

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Marlene Weber
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Michelemh

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Reply with quote  #42 
Marlene - I feel sad today. It seems like I can just cry so easy as if I am covering it up and when I think about it I just cry. I miss her. I keep doing things and thinking that she was here when I ordered this or she was here when I did that. I am putting some things away and thinking about when it arrived just before we put her to sleep. I have to make some plans with people also but I can't bring myself to do it. I still have all her old age supplements sitting out on the counter. I was thinking of starting to give a few away. All her things are still out. Every time I eat, for a fraction of a second I go to grab what is left to give her and I stop myself. She always ate what I had if she liked it. It is six weeks today she passed away. I was thinking it feels like I have not seen her in so long and I still can't believe she isn't here. I also am sad thinking I won't have that bond again with a dog if I ever found another. She made life a better place.
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Marlene8817

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Reply with quote  #43 
I know how you feel, I can't stand it...I work from home and see clients and in between we would walk or go to the park or the pet store, now I just have this time on my hands and I don't know what to do.  She was my little greeter and now it's so quiet...I sleep with her blanket on me, I haven't washed it, it still smells like her.  I worry about getting another dog too, it will never be the same...she definitely made life a better place...
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Marlene Weber
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Michelemh

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Reply with quote  #44 
Mine never really had a dog smell. There is her smell on her bed and a pad she used the last few months. Sometimes I run over and smell it when the grief hits. Going downstairs to make dinner is hard because she was always here looking at me and waiting for me to go down. I was always in a hurry to go down if I was late. That was her third meal for the day. When she was older and anxious, we couldn't leave to go out for dinner because she would be home waiting for me to make our dinner.
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BorderCollieLover

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Reply with quote  #45 
Marlene and Michelle:

  Glad you guys posted today. Today marks the 6th week since Shelby left me. I am sleeping a little better and longer now. The days, however, can be rough. I work at home and feel very lonely not having her with me. I miss the daily walks,  cooking dinner for her and just hanging out together. For the 1st (2) weeks i was reaching out to several of my friends for support. Noiw, I don't want to bother anyone as I know that people can be uncomfortable with your grief. So now, I am just trying to stay busy by working around the house, reading, exercising, etc. I kind of feel like I am taking (1) step forward and then something happens and I take (2) steps backwards. I hope you two are making some progress. It can be tough but this Forum can be very helpful. No easy answers here. 

Jim

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Jim Miller
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