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BorderCollieLover

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Reply with quote  #361 
Hi Marlene:

  Sorry that you aren't receiving the email notifications about the Anxiety & Depression series. Mine have been coming via Facebook Messenger. When you signed up did you also sign up for FB alerts? Maybe, that's the problem. I think it's crazy that this should be so difficult to view. They should make it easy. In any event, if you can't view it, don't worry. I think it will be on You Tube after it concludes. I'll notify you, if and when that happens. 
I know Molly is ever-present in your daily thoughts. Shelby is always on my mind - day or night. It's been (5) months for me now and I'm still really missing my little girl. I guess it will get easier whenever it's going to happen. I have been taking a new herb called Ashwaganda recently. I grind the root into a powder with my Nutri-Bullet. I mix the powder in my Veggie Juice Smoothie. Does it taste good? Not really. I try and mask the taste with all kinds of veggies (Spinach, Kale, Watercress, etc.). The reason I mentioned the Ashwaganda is that it has a very calming effect on me. I took some the other night right before bed and it really knocked me out. It's another coping strategy that I'm trying these days. It's really cheap (approx. $ 4. - $ 5. for a small bag that will last me about (3) weeks or so depending on how much I use each day).  I like the root but the powder is just as good. You can grind the root into a powder. Just a little food for thought as we grieve our special companions. 

Fondly,

Jim

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Michelemh

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Reply with quote  #362 
I don't think I will ever get over the loss completely. A part of my life died. All the things we shared died. The fun died. The places we went died. It is so hard not having that part of life. I did order Ashwaganda but it is a capsule. I hope that works as good.

I hope everyone is doing as good as they can.

Michele

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BorderCollieLover

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Reply with quote  #363 
Hi Marie:

  I would be interested in receiving the link so I can read some more of your writing. Send it when you can - no hurry. Thanks

Hi Michele:

  Ashwaganda in capsule form is perfectly fine. Capsule form is just the ground root encapsulated. Has it been helpful to you? 
I remember you saying a few months back that you wish that you had your old life back. Me, too. I don't like this new, transitional state of things - especially without my dog. I still grieve my little girl each and every day. I miss her so much. There's a big void in my life. 

Fondly,

Jim

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Jim Miller
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Michelemh

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Reply with quote  #364 
Jim - I ordered it and waiting for it to arrive. I will see if it helps. I would love my old life back.

Hope everyone is doing is doing well.

Michele
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AnthsGirl

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Reply with quote  #365 

Hello again, everyone.

I realized, last night when I took Pippin outside for a wee break, that yesterday it was 4 months since Lola passed. For some reason, at night when I go outside and look up at the stars, I think of my girl. Sometimes I talk to her - tell her goodnight, and that I hope she's happy where she is. Though last night when I remembered that we had come to the 4 month mark without me even realizing it, I felt so sad and helpless all over again. I looked over at that patch of grass where Lola had been laying that morning. That awful morning when she just...didn't get up again. I sometimes STILL cannot fathom how it could have been real - how that big, beautiful bundle of love could just be gone from this world so quickly.

I know that the stress and problems we're currently feeling with is one of the reasons why I hadn't thought about this 4 month milestone. I actually try NOT to think about that horrible day that I lost my girl. Though sometimes, it just ends up stuck in my head. Which I truly hate, because I never, EVER want to go through any of that again. It was literally the worst day of my life.

I told my dad the other day, that ever since Lola passed, EVERYTHING has been going wrong for us. It really is like she WAS all the good, and now that she's gone, well...she took everything good with her. Almost like Lola was our "good luck charm" - only she was way, WAY more than that. But really, it just absolutely feels like all the good in this world, left along with her. NOTHING good has happened for us since we lost her. Things just keep getting worse.

Jim, thank you again for your interest in my writing. Here's the link to a few of my written posts:

https://ko-fi.com/anthsgirl/posts

Sending lots of love to everyone.

Marie.

 

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Michelemh

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Reply with quote  #366 
Marie - I did that on Monday. I always stop what I am doing on a Monday during the time she passed away and look out at her grave or go outside where we had her put to sleep. I remembered earlier in the day and then forgot when it was the time she passed away. I remembered at night that I forgot to stop what I was doing. I thought how could I have forgot? It only happened once or twice in five months that I forgot the time.

Michele
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Marlene8817

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Reply with quote  #367 
Oh Marie,I have tears in my eyes thinking of Lola and how absolutely horrible that must have been for you, I'm so so sorry..we will never know why she was taken so young.  With me, Molly was 13 and had cancer, so I knew she wasn't going to be the longest living dog, but we still had a good long life together.  I'm just so sorry Lola wasn't able to live out her years, but I do know that life is ever evolving and there are so many ups and downs..sometimes the downs last a long time, especially with grief, there is no timetable for it unfortunately.  I know things will get better, we are not sure when, but they will..Lola is resting now, but when the time is right she will make sure you are ok and help guide you..Thanks for the link looking forward to reading!

Jim I did hear that Ashwaganda is good for anxiety and depression. I'm glad it's working for you, Michele, let us know if it helps you.. I asked my dr about it, but she said since we are changing out my meds not to add anything now until we have it all stabilized. Unfortunately I have tried herbs before, but with my depression it doesn't work.  I am feeling better though, I feel a lift which is good and just focused on my work and trying to get out with friends.  I have a new client who is a Vet, so we started talking and she refers animals who have cancer to Molly's Oncologist, she said she was the best!  So it did make me feel good that I DID have a good dr and she did everything she could for my little girl.  She also said she is going to be on the lookout for another dog for me.  I always say the dog finds you, so who knows maybe she came into my life for a reason...we will see...But yes Michele, I would give anything to have her back and well again, I talk to her everyday.  I don't think about the DAY I had to say goodbye, it's just too horrible.  So I think of her alive and well and all the funny things she use to do.  She was the worst eater I have ever seen!  I think I just spoiled her rotten, she wouldn't eat the same thing 2 days in a row, I had to cook something different everyday, yes I cooked for her, she wouldn't eat food out of the can. She would sniff it and turn her head and walk away or come into the kitchen and stare at the fridge! So I would make her something else and sometimes she would even snub that and have me make her something else, good lord!  Don't get me started on the Treats!  So much money wasted on her not liking the treats I would get, made me crazy!  But I always kept trying because I wanted her to be happy..oh I miss her so..Mamma loves you...

Nighty night everyone, pleasant dreams..

Marlene

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Marlene Weber
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BorderCollieLover

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Reply with quote  #368 
Marie:

  I just finished reading your short story about Lola on your page. Thanks for sharing that link. I see that you have several other stories. I plan to read them all when time permits. A few things stand out about the For My Lola storyFirst and foremost, the picture of Lola laying on the red bench is heart-warming. I can see the love in her eyes. She looks so happy and content, secure in the knowledge that her Marie will always be there for her (which you were). Lola wasn't just good looking, she was a world-class beauty. What a honey, she was !!! I'm not familiar with the Ko-Fi page that you posted on. Is this a site for aspiring writers and artists like yourself? 
In any event, I got a good feeling seeing Lola in her element. You were so blessed to have had a dog of her caliber. Thanks for making my day.


Marlene:

  I laughed when I read about Molly being such a picky eater. You said that she wouldn't eat the same thing (2) days in a row and she didn't like to eat out of a can. Despite her finicky eating habits, she would win you over each and every time. Your closing sentence pretty much says it all Mama Loves You.  I used to home cook for Shelby. My original plan was to go All Raw with her diet. Unfortunately I had created a Monster a few years prior. I was feeding her all health foods (salmon, veggies, herbs, hummus, raw meaty bones, etc.) and she became accustomed to that cuisine. So, when I tried to transition to an All Raw diet (nothing cooked) she let me know in very certain terms (The Border Collie stare) that the entirely raw diet wasn't going to cut it. Therefore, we reached a compromise with a 70% home cooked - 30% raw diet. Shelby ate that way for most of her life. 

Wishing everyone positive thoughts and sending hugs to all,

Jim

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Michelemh

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Reply with quote  #369 
Marlene - I loved how Onyx could eat anything and it never bothered her stomach. Not often anyway. She loved food and it was fun giving her different treats. She ate until the end and I am glad she did. I had one dry food I fed her that a holistic veterinarian recommended. She ate that most of her life until it went out of business. The last six or so years I gave her chicken or some other meat daily. I wish I would have done that earlier in her life. I didn't want to cook her food and not give her all the nutrients. I was afraid I would miss something. She didn't like raw food.

Marie - I could not find the story or pictures. Not sure where they are on the link.

Tomorrow is Valentine's Day and I loved getting her a new stuffed toy every year. That was one of the fun things.

Michele
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BorderCollieLover

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Reply with quote  #370 
Michele:

  Look back on Marie's post from a few days ago. There is a link near the bottom of her post about her Ko-Fi page. Click on that and you'll see her short stories. Hope this is helpful.

Fondly,

Jim

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AnthsGirl

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Reply with quote  #371 

Jim,

Thank you so much for taking the time to read some of my work. I'm glad you liked it. All the posts I wrote on my Ko-Fi page, are non-fiction. As such, they are all VERY personal, too. I had always been reluctant to "bare my soul" in such a way, but when I finally decided to just do it, it was therapeutic in a way.

That picture of my Lola is one of my favourites of her - and I have hundreds, if not thousands of photos of her. She could often lay in the silliest ways, and it always made me laugh. And in that picture, she looked right at me with those beautiful eyes. Lola's eyes were one of my favourite things about her, because they could convey SO much. I miss those bright, beautiful eyes every single second of every day.

And yes, you are indeed right - Ko-Fi is a site for artists and writers to share their work, and possibly get some support. I tried it on a whim, too, because I'm no "artist". Even though I am really interested in digital art and such. My mother went to art school, and was an amazing sketch artist. But alas, I didn't inherit her talent. I try with my writing, but, as you might see from some of my posts, life and everything that has happened to me during the last few years, has taken it's toll on my ability to write, too.

Nonetheless, the interest you have all shown in my writing means so, SO much to me, so THANK YOU.

Michele, I do hope you also manage to read some of my work. Like Jim says, just follow the link in my previous post, and it will go directly to my Posts page. Some are not just the written posts, but if you scroll down you will find the blog posts.

As always, lots of love to everyone.

Marie.

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BoxerMomForever

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Reply with quote  #372 
Hello everyone, little down today, yes I have my wonderful husband to spend Valentine’s Day with. But I miss my Lily especially on these holidays. I would put these cute bandanas on her and take photos. I sure miss her. Four months today. It’s weird I’ve been okay, then before bed last night, started to tear up again. I was sick with 24 hr virus the other day and I missed her being by my side. She was truly a good nurse over the years when I had something going on, she helped me feel better.

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Linda *Mom to two boxer angels* Lily {White Girl} 6/22/09 - 10/14/19 Ginger {Flashy Fawn Girl} 6/4/97 - 5/28/09

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BorderCollieLover

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Reply with quote  #373 
Linda:

  Thank You for sharing with us. Lily knows that you are still grieving her. She misses you too. You mentioned that you are at the (4) month mark. I'm at the (5) month mark and still miss Shelby every bit as much - if not more so - than when the unthinkable happened. I try and stay busy which does help to a certain extent but that ever-present, gnawing reminder that we are no longer together is troubling. Society dictates that we shouldn't be grieving after (4) or (5) months but I've never subscribed to that theory. I may be missing my little girl forever. She was that special to me. Shelby was a once in a lifetime dog. I feel so fortunate to have had her in my life for so long.

Angelina:

  How are you doing? Are you still visiting the church near your home and lighting a candle in Daisy's honor? I think that's a beautiful sentiment. Let us know what you are up to and where you are in your grieving journey.  I also wanted to mention that my next door neighbor's will be moving out of their house real soon, possibly in a few weeks or so. The woman (Rebecca) is already back in Illinois with her wonderful dogs (Wrigley & Tazor) while her boyfriend Andy is still here in NJ. Rebecca sent me an email the other day saying that  she will be heading back East in a few weeks to start the process of cleaning everything out. My first question was, "Are Wrigley & Tazor making the trip with you?" She knows how enamored I am with her dogs. She wrote back saying, "Not sure if Wrig and Taze are coming with me."  I hope they accompany her. I really miss them. Wrigley (Golden Retriever) and Tazor (Akita) knew my Shelby. They used to bark at one another through the fence. 

Fondly,

Jim

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Jim Miller
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Michelemh

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Reply with quote  #374 
Boxermom - I have those days. The last few have been really hard. I miss my dog so much.

Jim - That is hard losing a neighbor and their dogs.

Michele
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BorderCollieLover

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Reply with quote  #375 
Michele:

  I can relate. I miss my little girl so much too. The pain eases for a while and then returns, out of the blue, with a vengeance. I just try and do the best I can each day. I hope that Wrigley and Tazor come back to New Jersey with their owners in a few weeks. They are missed. 

Fondly,

Jim

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Jim Miller
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