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Marlene8817

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Reply with quote  #166 
Thank you Mistysmama for your post, it brought tear to my eyes...
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Marlene Weber
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BoxerMomForever

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Reply with quote  #167 
Hello all! I’m still here. Was busy last week and did things with my hubby every day and it took my mind off of things. But now back to reality and I’m sad again, my Lily is not here. I did break down in front of my hubby two weeks ago, I don’t know if he realizes how bad this loss is. I said I’m taking it real bad, more so than our previous dog. The sadness won’t go. He listened but didn’t say anything. Decorating for Christmas, ughh, she won’t be with us which really makes me sad. She’s not suffering anymore but I wish she was here and healthy. I know she is here even though I don’t physically see her. Weird I am sleeping well and have seen Lily in a few dreams.
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Linda *Mom to two boxer angels* Lily {White Girl} 6/22/09 - 10/14/19 Ginger {Flashy Fawn Girl} 6/4/97 - 5/28/09
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BorderCollieLover

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Reply with quote  #168 
Marie, Marlene, Gucci and Mistysmama:

Marie:

  You are not a horrible person. Your connection to Lola was so very special that no one can ever take her place. She stole your heart and will never relinquish it - much like Shelby stole mine. I know that you love Pippin and, over time, your feelings and connection to him may grow, but never to the same extent as with Lola. She (Lola) was a once in a lifetime dog. Most people will never know that special love that you had with Lola. You were so Blessed.

Gucci:

  Yes, this grieving journey has been tough on all of us. It's coming up on (3) months and I still cry every day. I (naively) thought that I was really making great strides, that is until this past Friday night, when I played that song Everyone Hurts by REM. It's such a beautiful song but very sad. I just completely lost it. I had no clue that I would react that way.

Marlene:

I know what you mean by feeling sad inside and putting on a happy face on the outside. Me too. I'm still very sad and not happy at all about the upcoming Christmas Season. I just want it to come and go quickly. Yes, I had Shelby from May of 2002 (she was 8 months old when I adopted her) until this year. She lived to be (18). I miss her so much. The pain I feel is still very intense. 

Mistysmama:

I think your unwavering love and devotion to Misty is wonderful. Perfectly fine that you still carry a torch for her - and always will. I remember a very smart person telling me one time that people can steal your money, your possessions, your ideas but the one thing that they can't steal is your love for another. So your special relationship with Misty will endure for all of eternity. No one can take that away from you. 

Yes, I am excited about sponsoring Bradley.  He looks like he could use some help at this juncture in his life. Most of the rescues at Glen Highland Farm are there due to a life-style change with their human persons - and through no fault of their own. Divorces, owners dying and financial problems are just some of the reasons that BC's end up there. GHF gave me Shelby  in 2002, so it's only fitting that I give back to them. Something about Bradley just caught my eye. He looks special.

Jim

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Jim Miller
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BorderCollieLover

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Reply with quote  #169 
Hi Linda:

  Nice to hear from you again. Yes, I understand about Christmas. Used to be a big deal in my house too. Not this year. The extent of my celebrating will be limited to decorating at the cemetery and sponsoring a rescue dog. That's it. Nothing more. It can't come and go quick enough for me. Sounds like your husband is just experiencing grieving burn-out. That happens to all of us. Don't be too hard on him. I'm sure he's trying. Everyone has a different threshold of coping. Come to this Forum. We all understand. 

Jim

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Jim Miller
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Michelemh

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Reply with quote  #170 
I have to catch up on reading. Thanksgiving was not as bad as I thought. But glad it is over. I really didn't want to bother at all. Sad about the loss of my dog and feeling sick all week. I had started cleaning Wednesday and it continued until today. With the heat on often and not feeling well I could sense dust in the upstairs. I had not been able to clean too well with my dog. She was always upstairs so it was hard to use the vacuum. I just did the main areas when she went down stairs. This week I moved and vacuumed behind all the furniture and in the closet. Things you don't usually do. Washed the curtains. I still smell dust but it could be the heat blowing all the time that is bothering me. At least I was so busy with all of this it took my mind off things. Going to try to organize some things I just couldn't do before. I am sure I will slow down once I am back to work.

My cat is still sick. He did better this week but now he must feel nauseous again. Not eating much and I can't get his medicine in him. Even when I do it makes him nauseous. It is really stressing and frustrating me. Cats are so different than dogs to medicate. If he doesn't take his medication his thyroid numbers continue to rise affecting all organs and he won't eat either. At least it sort of takes my mind off my dog. I did cry yesterday after days of being too busy to think.

Hope everyone is doing well. Tomorrow is 12 weeks.
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Michelemh

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Reply with quote  #171 
I did love the picture of the dog Jim posted. With my dog being old for so long, I really love seeing old dogs now. I have to read posts another time.
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Gucci

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Reply with quote  #172 
Jim - Bradley has such a lovely, hopeful expression in his eyes. I've always loved the way dogs seem to 'smile' with their mouths half-open. It's just so wonderful to hear of organizations like GHF making a difference for creatures whose humans have fallen upon hard times, and all those who rally to support its residents.

Mistymama - Your words ring so true. Our love for our companions who are no longer here is absolutely a precious, shining, sacred part of our hearts that will never be lost. The transition to a spiritual relationship with Sammi is still a rocky one for me. I'm still tethered in the 'material', when he was here, when I was able to hold him and breathe him in while he draped himself over my shoulder. Time and more time...

Michelemh - Thinking of you as you care for your cat and also go through the grieving process over the loss of your beloved Onyx.

Sending peaceful thoughts and hugs to everyone.
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BoxerMomForever

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Reply with quote  #173 
Thanks Jim. I am trying not to be hard on him, I know he’s hurting too. The no more dogs comment upsets me. I had to put aside Lily’s Christmas stocking and a beauty Lenox bone ornament with her name. Those things are hard.... Jim, so nice you are sponsoring Bradley, he is a beautiful dog. Shame he can’t be adopted. I will stick around this lovely community here, it surely helps.

Michelemh, sorry your cat is going through health issues, that must be hard since your grieving your dog.

Huge hugs to all. N


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Linda *Mom to two boxer angels* Lily {White Girl} 6/22/09 - 10/14/19 Ginger {Flashy Fawn Girl} 6/4/97 - 5/28/09
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Michelemh

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Reply with quote  #174 
Thank you everyone for thinking of my cat. No changes. He is still not really eating. I was considering the radioactive iodine for his thyroid but he should be eating before having it done. It seems the medicine is bothering him after more than a year. Another tough decision on what to do. I don't know if he is a candidate or not.

Marie - I had a male dog that I was not as close with. He loved me, my dog and my cats. He was a little feral since he was not socialized as a puppy. His owner left him outside with his dog family. We couldn't take him most places. But he loved it at our house with our pets. He was good to Onyx and she tolerated him. haha She loved giving him an attitude. He became sick suddenly at age 14 and I had to allow him to pass a few weeks later. I really missed him more than I thought. He had his good points too. I am just glad with Onyx she declined slowly and we were able to adjust to each phase of her doing less and less before we allowed her to pass away.
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Mistysmama

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Reply with quote  #175 
Dear Jim, I hear you about "Everybody hurts" by REM. That is such a moving song.

The one that always gets me is a classical piece by Grieg. It is "Air" from the Holberg Suite. I remember that music playing on the radio when I was with Misty, and it was full of happiness and love.....and in her last days here when I lay next to her one afternoon, and it was then so sad....
There never was a piece of music that just tore out a piece of your Soul as that, and how moving and beautiful it is.

At Christmas, I have a special memory of us sitting together by the stove listening to Christmas Carols from King's College Cambridge. Everything was snow outside, so utterly still, so still you could hear the snowflakes falling. There was an unusual stillness and peace between us by the stove that night, and for the first time I felt her Soul, beyond "just dog", but an amazing Soul presence.

So at Christmas, or even just before, we always have our special Christmas thing, where I remember that stillness as best I can, and send out towards her. Sometimes I feel I reach through....other years maybe not so much. But I do it every year in memory of that particular night.

I feel she was giving me something unspoken that night; something to carry with me, showing me her eternal self.

That really helps me with the dissonance which can happen at Christmas between the merry festivities, and the deep Soul pain.

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Hold the love like a little light. It is all you have, or will ever have, to find your way home.

Misty's Blog..a Dogfight with Cancer http://www.mistysblog69.blogspot.co.uk

Misty's life after death: http://www.dog2spirit.com
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BorderCollieLover

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Reply with quote  #176 
Mistysmama:

  I really enjoyed reading about your special memory with Misty at Christmas time. You and her sitting by the stove, snow falling outside and the stillness of the moment.  I can mentally visualize that and it brings tears to my eyes. Not sad tears but tears of happiness, that you and her were beautifully entwined and so in love. A dog's love is so pure, so genuine and everlasting. I also like the picture that you sent with Misty and Jet hanging out together. Two kindred Souls enjoying the company of one another. I'm so happy that Misty and Jet had that special relationship. As you described it, Jet was delinquent from his Border Collie duties on the farm down the road and seeking the companionship of his special friend Misty. It's amazing how dogs seem to be able to foster those unions among one another - despite the possibility that the Farmer would reprimand Jet and curtail their special bond. 
I wanted to share a story with you. When I went to visit Shelby for the 1st time - hoping to adopt her - it was brought to my attention that a Farmer had preceded me and was also thinking about adopting her to work (herding) on his Farm. The Farmer told them that he thought that Shelby was too small and probably couldn't handle the rigorous demands of working as a herding dog.  I was so Thankful that he had that (baseless) assessment of her. His loss was my gain. Yes, Shelby was very petite but she had a "larger than life attitude." She made up her for small stature with a tenacity and fierce determination that made me instantly fall in love with her (forever). Could she have worked as a herding dog?  Absolutely. She may have been knocked down, trampled on and left in the dust momentarily, only to rise up and strike fear into the hearts of stampeding sheep. My little girl just wouldn't give up - nothing would've stopped her. That was an attribute (the determination) that quickly won Shelby the respect of other dogs that she hung out with. She was alpha with an attitude. 

Jim

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Jim Miller
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Marlene8817

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Reply with quote  #177 
Hi Everyone!  Mistysmama, I loved reading about your wonderful memory of Misty, what a magical night.  Something that will stay with you forever.  Wow, Jim you almost didn't get her, it was so meant to be for you both!  As I'm sure she would have been a great herding dog, I believe her amazing life with you was much more meaningful and loving than it would ever have been with the farmer.  Great story!

Ok, so I'm watching my friend's dog, it's been fine, it's nice to have an animal in the house again.  But I have to say it really makes me miss Molly even more, unfortunately.  We took a walk earlier with one of Molly's best friend's and they just kept barking at each other, it was hard to see as Molly and Mocha were the best of friends.  I wonder if Mocha thinks about Molly and wonders where she is, and what the heck is this new dog doing here!  Mocha doesn't like many dogs, so they had a special relationship.  I miss her so much, I really don't think I'll ever feel happy again...this is really hard. 

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Marlene Weber
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BorderCollieLover

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Reply with quote  #178 
Hi Marlene:

  Yes, Mistymama's story about her special night with her beloved Misty is heart-warming. They were huddled by the stove with the snow falling outside and a stillness had descended upon them. They were in the moment together and their inseparable bond grew that much more. I can mentally visualize that and it's beautiful.
I know that you really miss your Molly. She was your baby. Your feelings just kind of leap off the page when you describe her. How is Mocha doing now? What breed is Mocha? You may have told us before but I couldn't remember. It's okay that you are still hurting. Same for me. I just miss Shelby so much. This will be my 1st Christmas without her and it's going to be hard. I may be going away for a few days just to get out of the house. Are you still being asked the question, "Are you going to get another Dog?"  I get it all the time and it still annoys me. It's like, Shelby deserves the respect that our long relationship justifies and I can't let another another dog into my heart now. How do you handle it? It's driving me crazy. Stay strong. The Holidays will come and go quickly.

Jim

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Jim Miller
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Mistysmama

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Reply with quote  #179 
Dear Jim,
Well that's just silly of that farmer. In my opinion he doesn't know dogs. He might think he does but..... it makes me wonder if he was looking at a new dog as a new piece of equipment.

It's the character and temperament of a dog, plus its general vitality and fitness, plus how responsive it is (how trainable) that counts, not its size!
Some are just born to herding. Others are not, and Jet  was big but he was not much good as a cow-dog ! lol
His "dad" the farmer didn't seem to mind. His quad bike did a better job. He used to laugh about it. Jet was a weird "pet" but he was more of a general doggy about the place as a working dog, which is unusual for a farm dog.

Anyway, thank goodness the farmer didn't want your Shelby! That was a happy day for you both.

It's amazing when we think of all the things that can happen, yet "fate" conspires to bring those who are meant to be together -to meet each other.


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Hold the love like a little light. It is all you have, or will ever have, to find your way home.

Misty's Blog..a Dogfight with Cancer http://www.mistysblog69.blogspot.co.uk

Misty's life after death: http://www.dog2spirit.com
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BorderCollieLover

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Reply with quote  #180 
Marlene:

  Mocha and Shelby had something in common. Both didn't necessarily like other dogs. Shelby was the alpha of the pack and always let other dogs know that she was in control. Even bigger dogs would defer to her. Sounds like Mocha was the same.

Jim

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Jim Miller
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