NelsonsMom
It's been almost a month since Nelly's passing and my heart still physically aches. He was part of soul. He was one of those dogs that watched your every move and wanted to be part of it. I never felt alone with him around because he was always part of me. I don't have children so he was like my child of 12 years. I've never known such grief. I'm able to think of some happier times we had sometimes but my mind keeps going back to when he was sick. It rips my heart out when I think of him being in pain. And it kills me more that I didn't pick up on it sooner. He was on so many pills for pain near the end. And one night he fell off the bed, he didn't break anything, but I know it hurt him, and it makes me sick to my stomach that it happened. He was such a tough little dog. He had the heart of a lion. Thinking back, I remember him not being able to settle in bed a few nights, and turning from side to side. Now I know he was in pain, and I didn't pick up on it. That makes me sick to my stomach too. I know I have to let these things go in order to heal my heart, and I know I was a loving mom and did everything I possibly could for him. But I'm still not over those thoughts and heartache.
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Ginger4256
Nelson's mom
I know exactly how you feel today. My boo was my child as well. You are in my thoughts tonight. My we find peace ❤️️😢
Boo' s mommy
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Sooz
Nelson's Mom and Ginger,
My heart breaks along with yours.
My little boy was my child.
I have no human children, no nieces or nephews, and feel so very alone. I have another dog who is a sweet little girl and I love her and she is a delight, but the bond I have with Luigi is very strong.
Peace to all of us.
Heaven is the place where all the dogs you've ever loved come to greet you.
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dachsiemom
NelsonsMom-  I had to respond to this post because it brought back memories of the last few months with my little dachshund boy.  
Brandon also fell out of bed one night, and it was horrible.  He was not hurt, but I screamed and was so upset that I could not get back to sleep.  After that I insisted he be allowed to sleep between my husband and myself even though my husband did not like that arrangement.  It would not be forever, I told him, and of course I was right.  A few months later Brandon died.  It does still bother me that I had him sleeping like that, so that he fell off the bed.  But he had slept that way for 15 years without incident.  
You are still in deep grief for your Nelson.  Other people may be advising you to think about the good times, and that will come, but probably not yet,  Now you are still traumatized by this devastating loss and must give yourself time to work through it.  One month is not very long, although when you are in sorry it seems like forever,   I don't think it's a good idea to try to repress your feelings of grief.  I used to worry that I was becoming obsessed with grieving over Brandon, but I think I needed to cry enough.  Two months after his death I find that I am doing better,    Many of us in this forum are in various stages of exactly what you are going through.  I hope you will find peace and comfort here.  - Dacshsiemom
Moira - remembering Brandon
"Better lo'ed ye canna be. Will ye no' come back again?"
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NelsonsMom
Ginger and Sooz, thank you for your replies and understanding. It means a lot to know that others can feel the same way. I find I'm feeling even more isolated in my feelings of grief now, because it's nearing a month and I think my family and friends expect me to be over it and to be able to move on. I am pushing myself along, but still crying every day. Not as much, but it still comes in waves.
I have another dog home here too (Ben), he's 2years younger than Nelly. He seemed to bond with Nelly when we got him, he loves me and he's sweet, but we're just not as bonded as Nelly and I were. I'm sure he's missing Nelly too, and he's adjusting to him being gone. I feel sad for him too.😔
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NelsonsMom
Dashsiemom, thank you for your kind words and more importantly your understanding ❤. It's so true about grief, it comes in waves and strikes me right in my heart. And it's true about crying, I need to let it out, it's exhausting for me, but my heart does feel better afterwards. It does take time, and we all move at different paces.
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Ginger4256
NelsonsMom
I understand the having no one that understands and even if they say they do, they really don't because they didn't have OUR companions. They are our family and if is impossible to describe the grieving. I truly hope that one day peace will invade. Getting over it is not an option.
Boo' s mommy
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