I once had this cat named Ezmé when I was around 13 years old. She was so sweet. But since I was young and immature, I always treated her badly. She got euthanized because she had leukemia. I still feel regret. I still feel depressed. I really love her :(
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Ezme was a very beautiful cat.  I am sorry that you are still grieving after so much time.  When you say that you treated her badly, what were the good things you did for her?  Did you feed her sometimes, pet her, give her toys to play with?  Since you still miss her so much you obviously loved her very much.  She must have felt that love even though you were immature and weren't aware of everything that you should have done for her. 

Did she have a good life overall?  Children often don't know how to care for and properly play with pets and they may mistreat them sometimes if they aren't being supervised by an adult.  Unless there is extreme abuse, the pet will still come to the child and have a relationship.  I assume that Ezme and you had some kind of a relationship.  

I am very sorry for your loss.  I hope you can forgive yourself for anything serious that you did with Ezme and recognize that your behavior was caused by being immature and not by lack of love.
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I'm sorry for your loss as well.  While I'm sure the pain will diminish in time, it will probably never go away completely. It's been over 30 years since I lost the cat that I grew up with as a child, and there are days I still cry about it, though fortunately the good memories are now what I remember most.  It's pretty clear from the way you feel now that you loved Ezme.  That is what matters.

Best wishes.
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